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When does 'interested' become 'pushy' : Swingers Discussion 2046031041
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TOPIC: When does 'interested' become 'pushy'
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I guess the rephrased question (for the ladies) should be; if you're interested, but the guy isn't 'touching', how do you express that interest? I'm not a 'touchy' sort of guy, and the Mrs has told me that she hates guys who're always asking permission to touch/hold/fondle, so being a gentleman (non-aggressive, but not passive) and being in the LS don't seem to coexist in my mind.


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Rdy's post was simply a turn on. Loved it.

Also, enjoying Mercy. I can just imagine/fantasize myself saying the very word, and yeah, okay, fanning myself.

For me, if you come up behind me and touch me, I will not like that. I do not like to be taken by surprise from behind. Fucked yes, groped or grabbed no. I don't even like when my dog gooses me from behind. It's the unguardedness, I think, for me.

But yes, guys, please touch something, somewhere. Perhaps it's the non sexual touch to initiate. You'll know by her body language, stepping back, folding her arms, brushing off her arms with her hands, looking away and tightening her mouth...all signs of rejection. Or maybe just a "not now."

Gina

San Antonio TX
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It could have been worse, Sweet, he could have been chased away, with her running after him waving her 6" pump in the air!

Allenhurst NJ
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Oh yeah, how do you know when to touch...sorry got carried away remembering the way I connected with him last time.

I give off VERY clear signals when I find someone hot. You will know, I swear. I will also know if he's not picking up my vibes thus most probably not for me. I need to connect with someone that can feel me, feel my energy, not someone that has to be told that I find him hot.

Allenhurst NJ
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LOL! what are you touching when you first start? I still remember the first time my wife got caressed at a club. The same guy finger banged her and then walked away. And she loved it! To each his or her own I guess.

I'm not shy when it comes to a full swap or a swinging party, but it's different in the club. I always ask if I can touch and if I can, I start off rubbing the small of the back. That is like the spot on a lot o women.

Lawrenceville GA
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Yeah Rdy, Do come out here. The Inland Empire is the Swingers Mecca on the West Coast and Club FA is right in the middle of it. We'll take you there and have a great time.

If you like Kink, Toluca Lake/ SilverLake are your places. Porn is in the San Fernando valley. It's a triangle of vice and no more than 50 miles in any direction.

Right in the middle of all this? The largest concentration of churches and religious colleges in the U.S. LOL.

Go Cali!

Covina CA
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There is no mistaking my attraction for another in a situation where I find someone sexually attractive. I'm an eye kind of person. I also blush very easily. The most recent encounter was in a group setting, he was married, I locked eyes with him the minute that I saw him and he me. The teasing, flirting, the energy, the heat it was there, there was no ifs or buts about it, no one was confused about it, in fact the rest of the people around us melted into simple background noise. Our friends all sensed it, there was zero doubt about it. I don't know, things fell into place well. The sex was rough, it was raw, it was intense, and it seemed like I was in an orgasmic heaven the entire time. A four hour encounter seemed like five minutes! I'm not sure that I want to fuck him again though. I doubt that we can *rekindle* that heat again.

Allenhurst NJ
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I'm a middle of the road girl. I don't want to be "groped" by just anyone who has an interest. I think there are other ways of showing signs that your interested without first groping.

But if I flirt for a few moments and show genuine interest and get no indication from the guy that he is interested I quickly lose interest.

Confusing lol.

Louisville KY
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Jack,

Do what you are comfortable in doing, not what everyone else does. My wife gets groped by male friends in the lifestyle a lot (doesn't bother her or me, btw). However, I don't do that to their wives. I hug or put my hands on the small of their back if we are standing or clasp one of their hands in both of mine if we are talking to each other. If we've played, I may run my hand up and down her arm or thigh a few times but no molesting, of course. The golden rule still is in effect for me so I gauge interest by that rather than what I can get away with.

However, there is one funny caveat that I discovered after talking with a few couples. A few wives were disappointed that I showed "zero interest" in them because I wasn't obtusely affectionate. They expected/wanted me to be more "primal" based on what they heard about black men (I'm 1/4 Sudanese, 1/4 Afro-Cuban, 1/4 Sicilian and 1/4 Native Am., a mutt in other words) and they thought I'd be slobbering all over them. When I tell them I am interested but I am respectful of them as a couple and therefore keep the slobbering to a minimum, they -sometimes- don't know what to make of it. So the moral is that perceptions and even stereotypes play a role in determining the line between interested and pushy.

Covina CA
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Ms. Rdy really makes me pissed off at myself for being a dumb ass fucking idiot again.


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TOPIC: When does 'interested' become 'pushy'