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When does 'interested' become 'pushy' : Swingers Discussion 204603
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsSwinger AdviceWhen does 'interested' become 'pushy'
TOPIC: When does 'interested' become 'pushy'
Created by: JackDarlene
Original Starting post for this thread:
I confess that I'm confused about where the line is between 'expressing interest' and 'being pushy'. I've always tried to be a gentleman in my behavior toward ladies, including expressing interest in getting better acquainted. Am I the only male on SLS who has problems deciding what's appropriate and what's over the line? Am I being overly sensitive in thinking that no touching at all is preferable to unwelcome touching? How can I tell whether touching would be welcome or not without trying? Or am I over-thinking the whole thing?? I'm sort of getting tired of being 'hands-off' at parties and being ignored by the ladies, or being 'hands-on' and getting pushed away.

How 'bout it, ladies? Guys? Where's the line between expressing interest and being aggressive?

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When does interested become pushy?

When the object of interest says it has. That point in time is different for everyone and you must be able to read reactions and adjust your behavior accordingly. There is no magic line in the sand.

Cincinnati OH
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The touching rules are really no different for males at a swing party than they are at a vanilla office party or night club. The females are free to be a lot more "expressive". Every now and then we run into "that guy" who thinks since it's a swinger event, he's welcome to grope any woman that catches his eye. Trust me, it's a real buzz kill for everyone involved when it happens to your wifey.

Virginia Beach VA
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sweettart, yes, unfortunate and you're right about on-premise. On-premise is our favorite, but its a shame sometimes how reserved we feel we have to be. You spelled it out well.

Oklahoma City OK
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May not be rocket science, but some LS environments and situations can be intimidating in the beginning. Besides, couple interaction is a tad complicated, you may like a couple, but not want to play with them. Does that mean you have to spell it out to them in order to keep carrying on a conversation, just in case they are assuming you intend to sleep with them? Does everything have to be "get away" or "get in bed"? Maybe we're wrong, but we do feel it takes a little thought and sensitivity and OP had a good question.

Oklahoma City OK
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this isn't rocket science....whatever happened to we appreicate your interest but we have other plans......so many people send uncertain messages then bitch about unwanted attention

Lynbrook NY
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That color binkini is lovely on you.

San Marcos TX
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Ahh the ole' Gibbs (NCIS) slap. I know it all too well, as do my youngn's...LMAO.....I know that look, I can see that look from 50 Yards....I just stay away.....lol

Cape Coral FL
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or get a slap to the back of the head?

San Marcos TX
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and if a man can't read THAT look... he needs to take a step back and maybe read a couple self help books or something ;-)

Visalia CA
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sometimes that look is better than if we said what we were thinking! hahaha

San Antonio TX
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TOPIC: When does 'interested' become 'pushy'