When does interested become pushy: Swingers Discussion 204603

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TOPIC: When does 'interested' become 'pushy'

Created by: JackDarlene Original Starting post for this thread:
I confess that I'm confused about where the line is between 'expressing interest' and 'being pushy'. I've always tried to be a gentleman in my behavior toward ladies, including expressing interest in getting better acquainted. Am I the only male on SLS who has problems deciding what's appropriate and what's over the line? Am I being overly sensitive in thinking that no touching at all is preferable to unwelcome touching? How can I tell whether touching would be welcome or not without trying? Or am I over-thinking the whole thing?? I'm sort of getting tired of being 'hands-off' at parties and being ignored by the ladies, or being 'hands-on' and getting pushed away. How 'bout it, ladies? Guys? Where's the line between expressing interest and being aggressive?

Created by: JackDarlene
Original Starting post for this thread:

I confess that I'm confused about where the line is between 'expressing interest' and 'being pushy'.  I've always tried to be a gentleman in my behavior toward ladies, including expressing interest in getting better acquainted.  Am I the only male on SLS who has problems deciding what's appropriate and what's over the line?  Am I being overly sensitive in thinking that no touching at all is preferable to unwelcome touching?  How can I tell whether touching would be welcome or not without trying?  Or am I over-thinking the whole thing??  I'm sort of getting tired of being 'hands-off' at parties and being ignored by the ladies, or being 'hands-on' and getting pushed away.

How 'bout it, ladies?  Guys?  Where's the line between expressing interest and being aggressive?

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User Details are only visible to members.	When does interested become pushy? When the object of interest says it has. That point in time is different for everyone and you must be able to read reactions and adjust your behavior accordingly. There is no magic line in the sand.
Cincinnati OH			Username hidden (3299 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	The touching rules are really no different for males at a swing party than they are at a vanilla office party or night club. The females are free to be a lot more "expressive". Every now and then we run into "that guy" who thinks since it's a swinger event, he's welcome to grope any woman that catches his eye. Trust me, it's a real buzz kill for everyone involved when it happens to your wifey.
Virginia Beach VA			Username hidden (268 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	sweettart, yes, unfortunate and you're right about on-premise. On-premise is our favorite, but its a shame sometimes how reserved we feel we have to be. You spelled it out well.
Oklahoma City OK			Username hidden (214 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	laughinglovers The same thing can be said about flirting,Just because I flirt with someone or some one flirts with me does not mean we will end up playing. Yrs ago we attended an off premise club that was always packed. There was always a lot of flirting and a whole lot of touching, and the dance floor would get down right freaky. But because there was no play on the premises (at lest there wasn't suppose to be) there was a lot less pressure, and if someone did invite you to their place for an after party it was a lot easier to decline and still be able to enjoy their company the next time you run into one another. It seems that on premise clubs put a lot more pressure to be ether Play or get away because turning someone down that you might other wise enjoy socializing with in a softer sexual way could mean avoiding them the rest of the night.
New Orleans LA			Username hidden (2188 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	May not be rocket science, but some LS environments and situations can be intimidating in the beginning. Besides, couple interaction is a tad complicated, you may like a couple, but not want to play with them. Does that mean you have to spell it out to them in order to keep carrying on a conversation, just in case they are assuming you intend to sleep with them? Does everything have to be "get away" or "get in bed"? Maybe we're wrong, but we do feel it takes a little thought and sensitivity and OP had a good question.
Oklahoma City OK			Username hidden (214 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	this isn't rocket science....whatever happened to we appreicate your interest but we have other plans......so many people send uncertain messages then bitch about unwanted attention
Lynbrook NY			Username hidden (10 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	That color binkini is lovely on you.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23645 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Ahh the ole' Gibbs (NCIS) slap. I know it all too well, as do my youngn's...LMAO.....I know that look, I can see that look from 50 Yards....I just stay away.....lol
Cape Coral FL			Username hidden (26 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	or get a slap to the back of the head?
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23645 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	and if a man can't read THAT look... he needs to take a step back and maybe read a couple self help books or something ;-)
Visalia CA			Username hidden (4124 post)

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TOPIC: When does 'interested' become 'pushy'

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