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When Things Get Out of Hand : Swingers Discussion 48964
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TOPIC: When Things Get Out of Hand
Created by: SPProd
Original Starting post for this thread:
Since this seems to be a great place for information, advice and opinions, we have a question:

What do you do when things begin to get out of hand? For example, if you've been chatting with a couple for quite a while and everything seems great, you meet for dinner and a drink or two and it seems fine, then when the clothes come off they TOTALLY lose their minds and things start to get VERY rough VERY quick. We TOTALLY believe in the phrase "Nothing We're Not Comfortable With", but when we mentioned it, they got a little bent out of shape and accusatory and said that if we didn't want to "play at their pace" we should never have met in the first place. Sorry! But our profile specifically states what we are and are NOT looking for, and theirs was less than "candid".

Is there any good way of saying "whoa!!" withough being branded a fake or tease?

Thanks again, everyone!!!!

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If you don't have a well developed sense of self, you probablly shouldn't be getting naked with strangers. There are preditors in and out of the lifestyle. The consideration levels of everyone you meet will vary. How they deal with a no will tell you what you are dealing with.

The objection (whine) we hear most is "no real swingers fuck with condoms".......lol

Phoenix AZ
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(159 posts)
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You do meet all types with each on having a different idea on what feels so good You did absolutely nothing wrong, I would venture to say that virtually everyone who has swung over a few years have run into instances where everyone was naked and having fun only to hear something said or have something done that said ok we are done, we gotta go. Who really cares what they say, those that side with them are as goofy and you want nothing to do with them. Those that take what they say with a grain of salt won't affect you.

Sarasota FL
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It sounds like domination and "their" idea of what it should be was supposed to be the last word on the subject. They were probably counting on you being "too polite" to say NO.

The first rule in this lifestyle is "No means No". If you are uncomfortable with it...and don't wish to proceed at that pace, then they should respect that. They are not paying for this... this isn't prostitution, it is a mutual verbal contract, so they had no right to expect you to do more or move faster than you were ready to.

Beside that...it would be impolite to do so. It should be a matter of Simple Common Courtesy... If I were you, I wouldn't feel the least bit bad about it. Just chalk it up to "lessons I learned first hand"

~Cat

Pittsburgh PA
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(366 posts)
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Thanks, Flirty! That was nice! I just attributed it to my magnetic personality and sexuality, but Miss K said there must have been other factors involved. LOL

Wonder what she meant by that?

Mr P

Bethany MO
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(204 posts)
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Since this seems to be a great place for information, advice and opinions, we have a question:

What do you do when things begin to get out of hand? For example, if you've been chatting with a couple for quite a while and everything seems great, you meet for dinner and a drink or two and it seems fine, then when the clothes come off they TOTALLY lose their minds and things start to get VERY rough VERY quick. We TOTALLY believe in the phrase "Nothing We're Not Comfortable With", but when we mentioned it, they got a little bent out of shape and accusatory and said that if we didn't want to "play at their pace" we should never have met in the first place. Sorry! But our profile specifically states what we are and are NOT looking for, and theirs was less than "candid".

Is there any good way of saying "whoa!!" withough being branded a fake or tease?

Thanks again, everyone!!!!

Bethany MO
Username hidden
(204 posts)
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TOPIC: When Things Get Out of Hand