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Whatever happened to good ole' fashioned common courtesy!! : Swingers Discussion 209830
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsSwinger AdviceWhatever happened to good ole' fashioned common courtesy!!
TOPIC: Whatever happened to good ole' fashioned common courtesy!!
Created by: twonluv69
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We are in this lifestyle less than a month and we had some that would initiate the contact, we exchange pics and talk about meeting and then nothing else. I would rather that then what just happened. we were contacted by a couple then exchanged pics, agreed to meet and then exchanged numbers to finish the arrangements. Even though I explain that I do not want to text to someone everyday or throughout the day, he sent texts, phone calls, emails, and I felt like I was stalked. This was done through this site and without knowing he was on another site we are on, through that site as well. I am hardly on the other one so I didn't recognize that the same person listing a town nearly a hour away is the same person as the one in our town. he is a co-organizer of a group that the other organizer asked us to join. Well, I tried to ignore his calls, texts, emails, hoping it would end. I sought advice on the forum, and followed through with what was suggested. Told him that WE were no longer interested in meeting because of the lack of respect for boundaries, the constant contact to say absolutely nothing, and just the pure freakiness of the behaviors. Well, he sent an email back. Never read it just blocked him, and he took us off the group membership. Not that we care, I mean we would rather not meet him in person. But, common courtesy is the minimum that should be shown and pre-stalking behaviors avoided at all costs.

We stated we want no drama, no daily texts, chats, or anything annoying like that, email us and we will email you. Set up a time to meet and then we will know if we want to pursue friendship or more. Now, he may be the nicest guy you will ever meet, but he ruined his chance of meeting us because of his inability to respect boundaries, use common courtesy, and common SENSE.

We would love to meet someone who actually means NO DRAMA! RESPECT BOUNDARIES! And some of the other crap we have found they say but don't follow.

Anyways, just wanted to voice an opinion and vent. Thanks for all the great advice I have gotten on this site.

Hendersonville NC
 
 
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I'm not sure why you'd write to anyone "with no hidden agenda" to strike up a conversation.If the intent was to compliment, a "thank you" is polite. If you expect more than that, even a conversation you do in fact have a "hidden agenda". This isn't FB , some people are here strictly to make sexual connections. If you aren't what they seek or too far away why would they bother "conversing"? A compliment is a gift and as such the receiver should be giving the gift with zero expectations in return. If you give a gift and expect a gift it isn't truly a gift at all. Any gift should be given from the heart, if it isn't it is given with an agenda for the purpose of trying to achieve your own personal desires.

The worse compliment in the world is one that hangs with a anticipation. One where you KNOW they are waiting to hear something nice in return. Far to often people give compliments to feed their own egos. If you tell me I look nice with the intend I will in turn say some "nice" about you your compliment is not a gift it is bait to feed your own hunger.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
 
 
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Coastal, success is also a function of location. We spent several months in your area just over a year ago and found the pickings were very slim. On top of that, the area is known for it's transient nature, as we're sure you're aware. Don't get discouraged.

Virginia Beach VA
 
 
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I dunno...

I say I dunno because, give or take, 90% of all of my swing encounters have been nothing but fantastic. I don't like to use the term "luck" but instead fortunate (well, luck does favor the prepared... but anyway) since my very first experience came from here. That couple introduced me to another couple, and I still talk to them regularly. That's two years and counting. I've met another two couples, who it turns out I knew for a while, along with some great singles. I believe my SLS section on my contacts list is 14 and growing.

Granted, there was one odd woman, a pushy couple, an oddly quiet couple (that mixed with me feeling a little odd while we met at a strip club, I couldn't properly assess/read the situation) and a couple of flakes; its been a wild ride loaded with fun. Keep in mind that the list of oddities mentioned just above were people I didn't hook up with. Everyone from the first paragraph is simply awesome. We've all met more than once.

I suppose it comes down to a little mix of circumstance, chemistry and connections. Regardless of what I just mentioned, I always went in with a positive and talkative vibe with the ideal of having fun. I NEVER go into it thinking "I'm SOOOO getting laid." If you play your cards right, you'll always get laid. Presume you will, and it doesn't happen.

My point is: always be courteous regardless. Because if your current situation doesn't work, there's always another couple/single who is much better suited for you. Their loss, not yours.

Milford CT
 
 
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"Common courtesy" exists in the our vanilla world, but not in the LS. Vanilla friends, business associates, and even new vanilla contacts seem to follow through with relatively high frequency. We are new to the LS and have yet to have a Truly positive experience. We think people can somewhat hide here and simply don't give a damn to follow through with communications and meetings. Oh well, this isn't business or personal, just fun. Though very frustrating we are still continuing our search.

Beaufort SC
 
 
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My advice, use the site to find a good local club and if you are interested in someone, let them know you will be there on a particular night and you would enjoy meeting them there. Even if they don't show up, you still have people to meet, party and potentially play with

Rosemont IL
 
 
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If someone just emails me a compliment, all I say is thank you. Not sure what else would be expected. Thank you is a very normal response to a compliment.

Carrie

Corpus Christi TX
 
 
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A couple of months ago we tried "reaching out" just to compliment folks on a nice profile, even though we knew we lived too far away. No hidden agenda, just trying to 'strike up a conversation' but the only replies we got were simple 2-word "Thank You(s)" or no reply at all. It's no wonder people are afraid to contact one another here...

Fairview Heights IL
 
 
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I stopped being polite to those that contact and its obvious they didnt take the time to read my profile.

Spring TX
 
 
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Thanks losamantes! Not sure if it's a maturity or experience thing but it has been our experience that more full swap/experienced swingers are more considerate of others...

Fairview Heights IL
 
 
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TOPIC: Whatever happened to good ole' fashioned common courtesy!!