What would you do Just been outted : Swingers Discussion 86153

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TOPIC: What would you do Just been outted

Created by: usandyou1369 Original Starting post for this thread:
So hubby and I are new to the lifestyle, and attended our first social this past weekend...small gathering, we were a bit disappointed...expected more ppl to be there, but had a good time. I get a call from my sister today inquiring about what we did this weekend...i kept asking her why and she asked point blank if i was at a party and gave the location of said party...kept asking why?why?why? and finally she said someone she worked with saw me there, i asked her how would someone she worked with know me?....all this being said, i neither confirmed, nor denied, and then I finally told her it was none of her business, and she said that was her answer, then refused to give me the name of the loud mouth... i really don't care what ppl think...family or not...but we are both very hurt and feel violated and betrayed that a fellow "lifestyler" would be so open and out with such personal information....is this not frowned upon? what would u do?

Created by: usandyou1369
Original Starting post for this thread:

So hubby and I are new to the lifestyle, and attended our first social this past weekend...small gathering, we were a bit disappointed...expected more ppl to be there, but had a good time.

I get a call from my sister today inquiring about what we did this weekend...i kept asking her why and she asked point blank if i was at a party and gave the location of said party...kept asking why?why?why? and finally she said someone she worked with saw me there, i asked her how would someone she worked with know me?....all this being said, i neither confirmed, nor denied, and then I finally told her it was none of her business, and she said that was her answer, then refused to give me the name of the loud mouth...

i really don't care what ppl think...family or not...but we are both very hurt and feel violated and betrayed that a fellow "lifestyler" would be so open and out with such personal information....is this not frowned upon? 

what would u do?

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User Details are only visible to members.	Did you prude sister say that she KNEW it was a swingers party? You should have asked her if she was jealous because she didn't get to attend. Then you should have bitch slapped her. I think she secretly wants to fuck your hubby in a 3 way with you. I often wonder what we would do if we were outed. I think alot of our friends think that we are swingers. But they are not really sure. But me and Mrs. PNL are very sexual in front of everyone and always throw hints out there. But, I am not sure what our friends and family really think. I have never been asked, therefore, we have never had to tell.
Staten Island NY			Username hidden (111 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	LOL Akron
Windermere FL			Username hidden (2505 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	rofl at Still. We had swinger friends of ours once mention having been at one of our parties to friends of theirs. Unfortunately, their friends are our neighbors and know that they are swingers. No, Mrs2, these aren't the neighbors that everyone runs screaming away from, lol. We certainly didn't appreciate ANY information about a party, or us for that matter, going to people 1) NOT in the lifestyle and 2) that we'd never met! I would tell the host of the party what was said. Socially challenged or not, I'd say your sister's coworker had some thought in mind OTHER than making conversation if said coworker didn't approach you at the party to say hello. S&J
Cambridge VT			Username hidden (6303 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Maybe the coworker was a neighbor.......if they knew their neighbors were swingers and saw someone they knew going in....or if they knew a group held M&Gs in a certain place and spotted you......Don't assume the offending person is a lifestyler, they just might be someone that keeps their eyes open and can put 2 and 2 together. Ya never know. Mr Still (who thinks Elvis and Jimmy Hoffa conspired to bump off JFK and are now living as a gay cpl in a small village deep in the forests of Belize and vacation on Cephus 4 with Captain Kirk and 7 of 9)
Adams MA			Username hidden (211 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"There would be absolutely nothing wrong with a co-worker telling your sister she met you at a party over the weekend if she didn't link the party to swinging in any way." I agree. Just act innocent....so, you met a co-worker at a party. Nothing more as far as you are concerned with your family....
Mountain Ranch CA			Username hidden (8750 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	US, the other thing i would add is, none of are children. You dont' really owe anyone an explanation for anything. I looked at your profile you're 29 and 32 years old. Do you really care if your sister knows you fuck people. after my divorce, I whored around like a 15 year old. My family knew I wasn't a choir boy. I simply didn't give a rats ass what they thought. If you take the attitude "you can't black mail me" you'll be alot happier.
Lake Worth FL			Username hidden (7209 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I agree with Jim too. It sounds as though your reaction would've put her on red flag alert immediately. Lol, not being prepared for such a question, especially from a family member to boot, I'd probably would've done the same. However, finding out who ratted on you is a must. We're like Scotty in that we don't kiss and tell nor do we gossip about singles or couples we've been with. When we meet people like that, we check them off our LS list pronto. Good luck and don't worry too much. Mr. D
Chilton WI			Username hidden (546 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	agreed jim. Still, I don't tell anyone I met anyone at a party we attend. We're not closet swingers ourselves, we don't flaunt it, but if asked a direct question, we'll give a direct answer. Never forget my sisters face when she asked me about a year ago "do you and Karen go to swingers clubs" and I said "yes, why do you ask?"
Lake Worth FL			Username hidden (7209 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	It's quite possible that you jumped to conclusions here. You do not know, or at least didn't say in your post, that someone told your sister that the party was a swinger's social. All you said was that someone told your sister they were at the same party as you. Your reaction to your sister's question may have given away that this was more than just a vanilla party, even if her co-worker didn't say any more than that she had met you at a party. Be sure you know what her co-worker really said to your sister before you go blasting someone's reputation. There would be absolutely nothing wrong with a co-worker telling your sister she met you at a party over the weekend if she didn't link the party to swinging in any way. Jim
South Riding VA			Username hidden (8158 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	If this was a private at someones house type of party. I would contact them and let them know what has happened. Not only you would be outed since your sister knows the exact place the party was held. I would also give them the type of work your sister does so they can figure out which one of the trusted few isn't that trust worthy. Sorry you had someone with such low class being as new as you are. I would never tell a coworker I saw their family at a party... Absofuckinglutely ridiculous to have someone so loose lipped around.
Bridgeport PA			Username hidden (12781 post)

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