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TOPIC: What to do when one is attracted and one is not
Created by: colorblindfantasies The original post for this thread was deleted.
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Yeah for us meeting people at the club its usually the first time we have seen or talked to them ever. We have never met a local couple via this site. Some fora members yes, for them it didn't take us 5 seconds to want to rip their clothes off when we were finally in the same city/state.

Louisville KY
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@PG - Exactly. It's different strokes for different folks in this lifestyle. What works for Couple A doesn't work for Couple B and is not even in the wheelhouse for Couple C.

I know that our way of doing things is totally off the wall and probably disgusting to most on here, as the majority here seem to want to be "friends first".

But this works for us. For me personally, I'd rather NOT know what someone does for a living and I'd rather them not know what I do for a living. Or what school my kids go to. Or what my political or religious leanings are. That's just me/us.

Now, does that mean that we walk into a club (of which there are NONE where we live), scan the room and zero in on someone, grab them, take them into a room and do naughty things with them? Of course, not.

The meetings WE do with other couples are ones where we've already chatted with them over email, seen some pix and have agreed to meet. It's a situation where I already know what I need to know from them and this is literally just a physical chemistry check. At that point, already knowing what I know about them, I can tell within 5 mins or less of meeting, if I am physically attracted to this person.

And as we only meet up with tourists, it's pointless (for us) to attempt to manufacture a friendship.

I can see where, if our situation was different, we might look at the lifestyle differently.

Wailuku HI
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or you hear a deep rich voice that could be reading the weather report and turn you on. Or find out they volunteer at the local animal shelter or work with animal rescues. Or that they are a musician that plays in a band that you then start going to listen to. Can work both ways.

I'm just not the type that can meet someone and 5 minutes later be fucking, then just walk away. Or rarely anyway. I'd rather only play with others a few times a year then fuck someone and find out later they are the worlds biggest asshole. I like the couples and singles that even though we don't play with them anymore, when we walk into the club they greet us warmly with hugs and kisses, then walk into the club and go oh shit so and so is here...let avoid them.

Everyone has their own style though. Just like with SM's I tend to play with the same one (locally) for years until they find a vanilla girl usually. I might play with others during those years, specially at the club. That works for us, doesn't work as well for others.

Louisville KY
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See?! That's where people always mess things up. TALKING! I hate talking with people! That's when you hear people's stupid laugh or their irritating voice or the fact that they can't stop bragging about how rich they are and how many vacations they go on a year and the time they sailed to the Bahamas and when they met the Sports Illustrated models at a party....

Ooops. Did I just say that all out loud?

Wailuku HI
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I can walk up to a table and think I want to fuck them, and something they say 6 minutes into conversation I'm like nope...specially with couples.

Louisville KY
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Well, for us, hubby and I are not looking to make friends with them necessarily, so it's mainly physical attraction for us. I can actually tell just walking up to the table if I want to fuck the other guy or not. It's an instant, almost primal attraction. I can't explain it, but I know immediately.

And when that attraction is NOT there? Then sitting there talking for a half hour seems like frickin eternity!

Wailuku HI
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Thank you both for your feedback. We're having a great time in general so far and just don't want to give anyone the wrong impressions or have them feel led on. I tend to agree that 5 minutes may be a little short. It would seem to me to be more a feel that will take increasingly less time to recognize as we move forward Thanks again

Rock Hill SC
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Yep you can always move on, excuse yourself politely.

For us though 5 minutes is not enough time to decide anything, unless they immediately turn us off.

Louisville KY
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Instead of resurrecting an old topic, you can always start a new one. :)

To answer your question, though...

It has been our experience that you can generally tell within about 5 mins or so if there is "chemistry". So there is no need to hang out waiting to see if chemistry develops; it's either there or it's not. You can usually tell by body language, etc.

Go ahead and move on. Just say "We're going to circulate. See you guys later!"

Wailuku HI
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I know this original post is a little old, but it speaks to our subject at hand. As a fairly new to the lifestyle couple, we've begun to experience some of this. We haven't thus far met with anyone directly from SLS. We've been attending a local club pretty regularly and having a great time. However, the last two times we've been, we've experienced this same "phenomenon". the first time, we were both interested, but I realized after the evening ended that his body language said he was not. the second time, we met a couple, spent some time talking and dancing and, at some point, I realized that my wife was not really interested. In both cases, we initiated contact and spent the remainder of our time at the club with them and didn't play with either one. My question is primarily one of etiquette. In that setting, would it be best to politely excuse ourselves and move on as soon as it becomes apparent? the thing that we don't want to do is have the other couple feel like we were wasting their time by hanging around too long. Thanks for your feedback.

Rock Hill SC
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TOPIC: What to do when one is attracted and one is not