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What to do when one is attracted and one is not : Swingers Discussion 224425
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TOPIC: What to do when one is attracted and one is not
Created by: colorblindfantasies The original post for this thread was deleted.
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@aiejey - LOL! Thanks! We already took a bit off. Our profile shows hubby as 49 and me as 44. (We are 52 and 46.) We always give everyone at least a 5 year "fudge factor". :) 15 year?!?? No way.

Lahaina HI
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When it clicks, we pretty much always play on first date. It's seldom clerks. :-(

Cozybee, nonverbal communication is really more effective than verbal communication except you have more wiggle room for arguing that you never said that if things go poorly. We communicate a lot without words; it is faster, more effective, and lets you strike when the iron, or desire is hot.

Wannatry, go with SLS aging, it is like vanity sizing, shave some years. And, you are right, things are getting better. When we first started, people would send us random first contact email that said, quotation we are not racist, but we prefer to stick to our own kind." Why did they contact us at all? We received several of these when we first started and the number of profiles that specifically excluded us (seeking white couples, no blacks, within our own race) were much more than currently exist.

BTW, you are way hotter than surfer types, locals, and couples with Asian women.

Fort Lauderdale FL
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@dew - We get passed on ALL the time. We'll open our gallery or send our face pix.....Poof!

We live on Maui, so a lot of visitors are looking for "surfer types" or "locals" or "couples with Asian women".

All of which...we are NOT. LOL

Lahaina HI
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WE know exactly how you feel though we are just the opposite. We get contactaced by couples all the time only to find out it's just the male half wanting the wife. It pisses her off to know end.It wouldn't be so bad it the ather couple was all that,but their not. We are real honest with ourselves about have we look, but it seems as though a lot of people lie to themselves when they look in the mirror. I also don't understand how some one would think that after some guys wife tells her I'm not attractive that she would still want to have sex with her husband.

Houston TX
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Wannatry, I can't imagine anyone passing you up you guys are gorgeous! I Am a bit heavy but like me better then I did skinny. It was so hard for me to stay thin. I actually got very depressed by the amount of time it took to be a size 5.Love me or leave me I say. The pictures show the real me so don't meet us if you don't like a bigger woman. I think this is hurting the hubby more because the women usually want him so he's not getting to play.

Visalia CA
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@ dew - I'm so sorry. :( As much as people like to claim this lifestyle to be about "personality", it's sucks that it's actually about physical looks.

Hubby and I are at the age where we get passed up for our ages (I'm 46 and he's 52). We get approached by younger couples, but when they see my husband is over 50...they disappear. Even though *I* personally think my hubby is a total hottie! I've had people say he looks like Sean Penn and Gary LeVox from Rascal Flatts! (*See pic on the left)

But I can feel the hurt in your writing and I'm really sorry. The lifestyle can really suck sometimes. :(

When we first started, there were couples that would go out of their way to be rude and disrespectful to us. It's amazing when I look back on it now. Just keep plugging forward! Things constantly change in the lifestyle, I promise!

Lahaina HI
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We're in agreement with Cozy & normally prefer to keep the first meeting social so we can see if there are 4 yes votes. If so, we set up a playdate soon after. We've played on the first date when we all clicked & were close to either of our places or had a room nearby. Problem for Diane at times has been if the other couples male half was a minute man or couldn't recover & she was less than satisfied. You don't find out until it's game on. She hates when a blow job turns into a job!

Princeton NJ
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If you find youselves constantly taking one for the team, maybe you need to take a good look at you team,maybe it's time to change teams or drop out of the game.

Houston TX
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It took a while before we managed to hook w a couple. Now I just eliminate all the overweight guys and contact the 5% left and it seems to work out. No way I want to see my wife with a fuzzy beach ball just so I can get the sexy other wife.

Lexington KY
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It is the most difficult thing to do is to get 4 people to agree to play , and if body types are different it gets almost impossible .

Millersville MD
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TOPIC: What to do when one is attracted and one is not