Whats wrong with us: Swingers Discussion 2032041071

165
Whats wrong with us: Swingers Discussion 2032041071

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TOPIC: What's wrong with us

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User Details are only visible to members.	We have been going through the same thing for the last couple of years. We have been in 8 cities and have attended 4 different clubs in the last 5 months and nothing nadda.I can tell you with us,our fun in the lifestyle fluctuates with my weight. when i am down to 200 to 220lbs the e-mails flood in and when we go out we are the life of the party. when I put on weight the decent e-mails stop and the bs ones come in and when we go to a club we are ignored.
Dallas TX			Username hidden (2225 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	~my2centsinaword~ Suggestions 1. Change you tag line with something "marquee" like.... "Free beer, apply within".... "Really who cares bout them long horns" Just something engaging locally or specific to what you are looking for in playmates.PG17 or kinky interesting to open the door to people wanting to check you out. 2. The texting thing is like pixie dust. Poof gone... Even after doing the I like you, and you like me, email exchange. Then asking for or giving your phone number more times then not it freaks some people out. rookies and newbies mostly almost never with veteran swingers Whatever'... I say it thins the herd from flakes, fakes and mistakes. I would just take that part out of your profile and save it for emails or in person at parties. 3. Change your zip code sometimes to different areas your close to or are interested in visiting on a play date. People are lazy by nature. This will give you a fresh look to people that have never seen your marquee and don't use the search feature. As far as the goth or emo thing, it's a non-issue. You neither look goth nor emo. You look like Raider Fans...~smile~ In closing , I think your profile reads fine except for the texting part. You decide about that. Just be yourself s,,, in our 8th year now we have come to the conclusion it's either fest or famine. That tag line we have about age, flooded our social calender with people taking a look at us and dropping a line to say hello.Trial and era is about all you can really do to increase your odds to find that special fuck buddy couple or couples you are seeking. Best of luck. ffaux formally know as the poster ff
Atlanta GA			Username hidden (2136 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Welcome to the forums Bestfriends! :) I wanted to say a most of what you and Mrs. Sav have said here. So consider all of the below my feelings too, and said very well I might add. KCndaDoc... There really 'are' people who see other's ...only as a few hour sex playmate. They are out there. But what I see in many people is, yes, wanting to find other's that they have certain things in common, mostly sexual compatibility! For me personally, honesty, a certain level of friendliness, and of course attraction is most important. If you are seeking more than that, like Mrs. Sav said, that could definitly happen, but I believe that to be far and in between. I don't think it's something most swingers seek though. If that is what is upsetting you, you may be looking in the wrong place for such friendships. Quite frankly, most people do not even have time to build such a friendship with everyone they might be attracted to for sex and this lifestyle is based on sex. friendship' To be honest, in real life, I like to to get to the nitty gritty with people's lives very quickly. (not sex related, lol). But I am not here seeking new best friends, so I actually have a hard time drawing the line myself as far as what kind of 'friends vs. friendly relationship' we are going to have for me to become comfortable. Sometimes, once we start communicating about everything under the sun, I don't think of them as a sex partner anymore. I see the relationship differently then. I'm not saying that would be you too, but I do think it is common. I think you need to learn that a 'genuinely' honest and friendly' relationship is different then a 'genuine friendship'. And I do think it's possible to be honest and 'not' negative. Since you 'are' feeling negative about this, perhaps it is coming off as very obvious and you don't realize it.
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2999 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Not all older people are as cranky as I am! I guess I've had a sheltered existence. Never bedded a woman with a conspicuous tattoo. Just this week met one with a piercing in her navel; and we had to strategize around it, so it wouldn't get accidentally yanked at a bad time. Some of us "came of age" in the '60s-'70s, when it was all about being "natural". Let your hair find it's preferred length and form; give up the makeup and perfume. To this day, I prefer as natural as possible; except that smooth is nice "down there". Everyone has their turnoffs and turn-ons. There's not much we can do about them. The missus isn't attracted to over- or under-weight guys, or very hairy guys. We work with that, and we try not to waste anyone's time. It doesn't mean they aren't nice people, and they could be friends. But it would be a struggle to be acceptable lovers. Whenever you adjust your appearance, you'll be turning some folks on and turning others off, at least a bit. I don't know what qualifies as "Goth", and I've never heard of "Emo". I just know what I like.
Flat Rock NC			Username hidden (2991 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	BestFriendsBestLovers, welcome aboard! Please make yourself at home, and have fun reading and posting! New faces are welcome :) Tasteful flirting is encouraged! I agree with y'all, the profile is the first and only tool you have at your disposal to make someone intrigue enough to send an e-mail to you. It does not have to be long (like mine, lol), but it has to have something to catch the eye. Men like pictures? I have them. Women want to know, what I am into? Read on, I have that info in my profile. To me, the constant "can't", "don't", won't" are turn offs, as are bitching and long laundry lists of rules. The person behind the profile might be the kindest soul on Earth, but a negative sounding profile will make me think, the person who wrote is is negative all the time as well. This is just the way folks think, it seems like. I'd rather read a positive sounding profile, accompanied by a some pictures of all people involved, that includes a man of a couple! With that said, not everyone is everyone's cup of tea. There will be rejection. All you can do is say, "Next"!
Panama City Beach FL			Username hidden (1975 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	In response to the "happy prozac face" comment I have this to say: I would think most people on this site (the ones who are really here to meet people such as us) wish for honesty in profiles and give honesty. Our profile is honest and true to who we are. Even so you have to realize that the profile is a first impression for people who have more than likely never met or heard of you before and first impressions should be of our good side. It may seem unfair but if the first impression you give is one of negativity or pessimism most people will assume that that is who you are most of the time. Everyone has off days and we know that. We never assume that anyone is happy 100% of the time. At the same time we dont want to meet people who have more baggage and problems than not and all we have to get a gauge of that is the profile. (at the beginning at any rate) In summation you dont have to put on the "happy prozac face" and you shouldnt portray what you are not but at the same time you shouldnt air out your frustrations when you are trying to attract others.
Biloxi MS			Username hidden (6 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"Seems what people really want is someone they can have fun with and talk to occasionally and superficially without the bother of having to get to know the person beyond the sex. That, to me, is not a friend. Being someone's friend carries with it a certain level of responsibility, a certain accountability. Being someone's friend means being willing to see the whole person and accept their flaws while relishing their qualities. It pains me to think that the majority of the people in this lifestyle are of the "fair weather friend" variety. I agree completely with your opinion of friendships, the responsibility and accountability . That being said we came here to enjoy casual sexual encounters with like minded people. Many people, ourselves included do not necessarily to have "relationship" beyond the sexual fun. Why you might ask? Because of the very reasons you stated, responsibilities and accountability. The acceptance of flaws, the emotion, personal involvement, potential for drama when the sexual side wanes but the friendship still exists . We like things casual, go laughs , great sex and than pack your shit up and go home and take all your "personal real live issues with you' I just really don't need to know about your sick mother, aging father , hubby who is always working late yada yada yada. No offense at all but I have a life outside of swinging with friends I care about, fret over and cry with. The lifestyle for us is about fun, laughter, parties, flirting and of course sex. It is much like a mini vacation, when I pack my bag for the weekend my "personal" life is left at home. We do have many friends we'd made in the lifestyle and I love each of them dearly but the reality is bonding friendships with playmates are not our goal. Adding friendship changes the focus for us , suddenly we are more aware of your issues, more sympathetic to the lemons life throws you, more in turn when a couple is not quite right on any given occasion . Conversation state centering around family, work and daily stresses , the things we are seeking to escape on our "mini vacation" I hope that makes sense to you, we aren't jumping into bed with just anyone but on the other hand we feel no need to call you "friend" either. Mrs Sav
Weaver AL			Username hidden (4440 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I agree that people wont always be honest. The goth thing? ....I don't think that matters at all. I am covered in tattoos, have big ear piercings. I LOVE me a punk girl, but very specific. I'm not a big guy. I'm very specific in who I am attracted to. I also realize, (and have been told) that people aren't into guys with shaved heads. Some people find me intimidating. When I look at a couple, besides the pics and weight, I look at a few key things. One, does the guy look like a guy I would want my wife to be with? Does he look like a guy i would hang out with and get along with? I look at ages. We prefer younger than us, but if a couple has more than 3-4 years age difference, usually we aren't going to be interested, especially if they are older. Maybe you guys need to be more forward and open at a party. Ask some of these couples if they are interested.
Grand Blanc MI			Username hidden (143 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	oh yes, drop the tagline! I didn't even look at it, ....Ms. Rdy is a very smart and observant woman! ;) I was thinking it could be your age range also, but looking at you guys, that doesn't seem to be an obvious problem to me. Just a fyi, we don't get alot of emails either. Some, but not alot, and when we go out, we're on the quiet side so we are not always approached by other's. But I can't say 'never' to either, and we just accept it's just the way it is for us, and we will approach who we want to.
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2999 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	hmm.. I don't agree with that. First, I don't think you look too gothic, and I don't think there are NO people who are like you, in the LS. It may lessen prospects, but there are people for everyone! I see some piercings and to be honest, I don't care what color you like to wear. You look like an attractive couple, your profile seems fine, it's a little short, but I don't see anything at all that would turn-off 'all' people. I don't know why you're having no approaches online or in person. Are you finding playmates if you do the approaching? Are the places you go to more of an older crowd who may not like piercings and such??
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2999 post)

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TOPIC: What's wrong with us