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What's wrong with us : Swingers Discussion 2032041061
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TOPIC: What's wrong with us
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In response to the "happy prozac face" comment I have this to say:

I would think most people on this site (the ones who are really here to meet people such as us) wish for honesty in profiles and give honesty. Our profile is honest and true to who we are. Even so you have to realize that the profile is a first impression for people who have more than likely never met or heard of you before and first impressions should be of our good side. It may seem unfair but if the first impression you give is one of negativity or pessimism most people will assume that that is who you are most of the time. Everyone has off days and we know that. We never assume that anyone is happy 100% of the time. At the same time we dont want to meet people who have more baggage and problems than not and all we have to get a gauge of that is the profile. (at the beginning at any rate) In summation you dont have to put on the "happy prozac face" and you shouldnt portray what you are not but at the same time you shouldnt air out your frustrations when you are trying to attract others.

Biloxi MS
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"Seems what people really want is someone they can have fun with and talk to occasionally and superficially without the bother of having to get to know the person beyond the sex. That, to me, is not a friend. Being someone's friend carries with it a certain level of responsibility, a certain accountability. Being someone's friend means being willing to see the whole person and accept their flaws while relishing their qualities. It pains me to think that the majority of the people in this lifestyle are of the "fair weather friend" variety.

I agree completely with your opinion of friendships, the responsibility and accountability . That being said we came here to enjoy casual sexual encounters with like minded people. Many people, ourselves included do not necessarily to have "relationship" beyond the sexual fun. Why you might ask? Because of the very reasons you stated, responsibilities and accountability. The acceptance of flaws, the emotion, personal involvement, potential for drama when the sexual side wanes but the friendship still exists . We like things casual, go laughs , great sex and than pack your shit up and go home and take all your "personal real live issues with you' I just really don't need to know about your sick mother, aging father , hubby who is always working late yada yada yada. No offense at all but I have a life outside of swinging with friends I care about, fret over and cry with. The lifestyle for us is about fun, laughter, parties, flirting and of course sex. It is much like a mini vacation, when I pack my bag for the weekend my "personal" life is left at home. We do have many friends we'd made in the lifestyle and I love each of them dearly but the reality is bonding friendships with playmates are not our goal. Adding friendship changes the focus for us , suddenly we are more aware of your issues, more sympathetic to the lemons life throws you, more in turn when a couple is not quite right on any given occasion . Conversation state centering around family, work and daily stresses , the things we are seeking to escape on our "mini vacation" I hope that makes sense to you, we aren't jumping into bed with just anyone but on the other hand we feel no need to call you "friend" either.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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I agree that people wont always be honest. The goth thing? ....I don't think that matters at all. I am covered in tattoos, have big ear piercings. I LOVE me a punk girl, but very specific. I'm not a big guy. I'm very specific in who I am attracted to. I also realize, (and have been told) that people aren't into guys with shaved heads. Some people find me intimidating.

When I look at a couple, besides the pics and weight, I look at a few key things. One, does the guy look like a guy I would want my wife to be with? Does he look like a guy i would hang out with and get along with? I look at ages. We prefer younger than us, but if a couple has more than 3-4 years age difference, usually we aren't going to be interested, especially if they are older.

Maybe you guys need to be more forward and open at a party. Ask some of these couples if they are interested.

Grand Blanc MI
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Some people will tell you that you are attractive; almost nobody will ever freely offer their honest opinion that they don't find you attractive. The black clothing (in all your pics), the skull on the cellphone, the rivets in your faces: I personally don't know who would find these attractive.

I'm trying to be honest and blunt here. Probably there is a Goth gathering or a Halloween party where you'd be a perfect fit. Everyone has flaws, but most people don't try and create more of them. At first glance, this just looks like self-degradation.

Self respect, and the appearance thereof, goes a long way toward creating a positive public image. Sorry if this seems too blunt or callous, it's just one set of impressions.

Flat Rock NC
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There is a million reasons why you could be being ignored. Personally, I think body language is big. I won't approach anyone if they aren't giving off a friendly, talk-to-me, vibe. Making eye contact with people can usually spark a response. I can pick up a woman from across the bar lots of times, at the regular bars, with just a look. And I really don't consider myself great looking. It's all in HOW you look at them.

Confidence is attractive, arrogance is not. My wife and I go out and we get tons of looks, because we walk around the bar like we own it. We don't give a rats ass what anyone thinks because we have each other. This gives us a confidence and a glow that attracts people.

Lots of people are generally shy. When you are at parties, do you just stand on the sidelines and watch? You always need to make yourself approachable.

Grand Blanc MI
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K....I am like y'all. I am not one who is an extrovert unless I am comfortable. New people...it takes me a bit to warm up. And I totally miss subtle. People do not want to be intrusive. It is not that they are rude or snobby, they are just shy like you are. Remember, if everyone in a room is shy, who talks to who? And then people say it was a boring party. There is NO harm in walking up to anyone, whether or not you want to fuck them....smiling and saying hello! I am ----, what a pleasure to meet you! When I do that you see this almost look of relief on their face...and then they smile! Smiles are contagious....so is laughter and happiness. Emotions are contagious. Just like misery loves company......so does happiness :0).


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I have had the same issue. I figured out ti is because I stay stuck up my husbands ass if no one else is talking to me. Most people wont approach a couple because they either A) know you are together and assume you are not ready to mingle/play. or B) they dont know you are together and dont want to "cock-block".I know it can be daunting being in a new environment with people who seem to all know one another, but trust me, make conversation with just one person,even if its bogus( oh, hey i like your t-shirt,,Im lost again, which way to the bathroom?) and your luck will improve.

Church Road VA
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TOPIC: What's wrong with us