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Very New To The Lifestyle : Swingers Discussion 230137
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsSwinger AdviceVery New To The Lifestyle
TOPIC: Very New To The Lifestyle
Created by: johnandandrea
Original Starting post for this thread:
Wife and I have always thought about being more open with our sexuality, so once we got married, going on 4 years now, we decided that we would attempt to find friends with similar feelings.

Breaking into a community is hard, let alone one that involves sex. We tried going to bars, posting on Craigslist, etc., but to no avail, we achieved nothing.

Sure, the wife and I have shared women, but they were close close friends of ours, that eventually created issues between us and them, as they were immature and just full of young people drama(after all, they were 21 and 22 yo female friends of the wife)

We decided to start on AFF, met a really nice couple, had an awesome time with them, but they aren't able to get out as much, with the school year going on and work.

So, with our account here, we are trying to get advice on how to really become full lifestyle participants.

Advice on red flags, the do's and don't's at a lifestyle party/event, where to meet people without the expectation of sex right as you walk up and meet them, etc etc.

So, any advice, friendships, etc. would be really appreciated. We know we are the PERFECT Ken and Barbie couple, and we accept that about ourselves, but friends and advice are what we really seek with this posting.

If more comes from that, we are not opposed to it, but mainly here in the topics for advice.

Thank you!

Andrea and John

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@OP If you want to be in the lifestyle more, just find a local club. This way you dont have to worry if the couple your playing with is free or not. You can just show up when ever you want. Sometimes we go a couple days in a row to a local club by us.

Btw if you find any good clubs between now and june or july feel free to email us. We will be in Michigan for a few days and would like to visit a club while there. We picked up a news letter from our local club that lists clubs in states all over the US.. But other then an address and phone number. Theres no info about them. We picked out local club by word of mouth.

Altamonte Springs FL
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(6 posts)
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Just be yourselfs and the real couples will come to you. We have been in this lifestyle for about a year and we love it. Just have patience. Enjoy.

Los Angeles CA
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(61 posts)
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My husband and I are in the same position. Fairly new to this and not sure how to make things happen. Maybe it's a confidence thing... it's kind of like dating again except you doing it with your significant other! And your only really looking for friends with benefits. As others have said, trust your instincts. We are in agreement that we're looking for lifestyle friendships. People that can meet up at a club, dinner or similar event for drinks, dancing, conversation and let things go from there but still be able to say 'we'll text/ message you all the next time we can go out again'. No drama. We have attended the cottage a few years back and had fun but then after that 'life' happened and here we are again. Over the time frame though we always talked about getting back into things. Just attended TJ's for the first time this past Sat and enjoyed ourselves but it was primarily voyeuristic. Siting back and 'watching' was a learning experience too but I think we needed that to become acclimated to the surroundings and 'protocol', so to speak. I'm hoping that going out for some more anonymous fun will rev things up! You'll have to let us know how things go for you. Good Luck.

Westminster MD
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(4 posts)
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Trust your "gut instinct". This took me a while to learn. In the vanilla world I'm the type of person to give people a chance, even a second chance. This isn't the place for it. Trust that little voice in your head.

Visalia CA
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Welcome to the Forums. So, any advice, friendships, etc. would be really appreciated. We know we are the PERFECT Ken and Barbie couple, and we accept that about ourselves, but friends and advice are what we really seek with this posting. Is this really what you intended to say or did you omit the word not before PERFECT.

We have found going to socials or dances to be helpful in meeting new people. Just have to be brave and friendly.

Freeland MI
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(244 posts)
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Wife and I have always thought about being more open with our sexuality, so once we got married, going on 4 years now, we decided that we would attempt to find friends with similar feelings.

Breaking into a community is hard, let alone one that involves sex. We tried going to bars, posting on Craigslist, etc., but to no avail, we achieved nothing.

Sure, the wife and I have shared women, but they were close close friends of ours, that eventually created issues between us and them, as they were immature and just full of young people drama(after all, they were 21 and 22 yo female friends of the wife)

We decided to start on AFF, met a really nice couple, had an awesome time with them, but they aren't able to get out as much, with the school year going on and work.

So, with our account here, we are trying to get advice on how to really become full lifestyle participants.

Advice on red flags, the do's and don't's at a lifestyle party/event, where to meet people without the expectation of sex right as you walk up and meet them, etc etc.

So, any advice, friendships, etc. would be really appreciated. We know we are the PERFECT Ken and Barbie couple, and we accept that about ourselves, but friends and advice are what we really seek with this posting.

If more comes from that, we are not opposed to it, but mainly here in the topics for advice.

Thank you!

Andrea and John

Detroit MI
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(2 posts)
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TOPIC: Very New To The Lifestyle