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TOPIC: Unrealistic Expectations

Created by: TaranisofGaul Original Starting post for this thread:
I have noticed in my area over the past two years a lot of people put up profiles that have..well, lets just call them "Great Expectations" to say the least who, after a few months get discouraged and start in labalign their profiles claiming everybody is a fake, nobody hooks up, etc... Despite the fact that people do meet here and hook up here year round. I can't help but notice that a lot of these different profiles have common features that may be undermining their happiness. • Lady is only interested males over eight inches. • Height weight proportionate only. • Wife does not play. • Do not contact over a certain age (usually 30) etc... ad infinitum. My take on all of this is, that if you come across as being aloof or excessively picky, you may knock yourself out of some wonderful swinging expereinces. First of all for the ladies seeking gentlemen hung like farm animals. Most guys with more than seven inches who can perform on command and don't look like Quasimodo are not going to be looking for sex on the internet, they are gonna be getting paid to have sex on porn shoots in Van Nuys. How would these ladies feel if they saw a profile from a handsome man saying "Bra size under 38 Double DD please don't waste my time." They would feel offended, then hurt, no doubt. As for the H/W proportionate crowd, that's understandable...when you are too. But come on, guys my size, you really are going to have to accept the fact that if you expect other people to go to the gym 2 hours a day just to look good for you, you need to show them the same respect. As for the wife does not play crowd, I am pretty sure that if there are couples out there who don't midn sharing their wife, they have plenty of single males to share them with and don't need to sit on teh couch and talk about crocheting or soap operas with your wife while you THINK you are gonna be having his wife. Those hung up on age are really missing out too. The best, most uninhibited lay I ever enjoyed in my life was 40 the first time we got together and five years older than me. Experience makes a difference. So, if you find yourself getting frustrated at your swinging efforts take a look at what you are expecting and be a bit more reasonable and realistic. Yes, there are couples and singles out there who look like Jenna Jameson and Peter North. But just because they are out there doesn't mean they are gonna find you, or that you would be there type if they did. There are a LOT more "Ordinary" and "Average" swingers out here in the real world than there are superstars and just because a gal or a guy looks like the average person next door doesn't mean they cant knock your socks off in the sack with some fun NSA sex. Sexy is as sexy does.

Created by: TaranisofGaul
Original Starting post for this thread:

I have noticed in my area over the past two years a lot of people put up profiles that have..well, lets just call them "Great Expectations" to say the least who, after a few months get discouraged and start in labalign their profiles claiming everybody is a fake, nobody hooks up, etc...
Despite the fact that people do meet here and hook up here year round. 

 I can't help but notice that a lot of these different profiles have common features that may be undermining their happiness.

 • Lady is only interested males over eight inches.
•  Height weight proportionate only.
• Wife does not play.
• Do not contact over a certain age (usually 30) etc...
 ad infinitum. 

 My take on all of this is, that if you come across as being aloof  or excessively picky, you may knock yourself out of some wonderful swinging expereinces. 
 First of all for the ladies seeking gentlemen hung like farm animals. Most guys with more than seven inches who can perform on command and don't look like Quasimodo are not going to be looking for sex on the internet, they are gonna be getting paid to have sex on porn shoots in Van Nuys.  
How would these ladies feel if they saw  a profile from a handsome man saying "Bra size under 38 Double DD please don't waste my time." They would feel offended, then hurt, no doubt.
 As for the H/W proportionate crowd, that's understandable...when you are too. But come on, guys my size, you really are going to have to accept the fact that if you expect other people to go to the gym 2 hours a day just to look good for you, you need to show them the same respect.
 As for the wife does not play crowd, I am pretty sure that if there are couples out there who don't midn sharing their wife, they have plenty of single males to share them with and don't need to sit on teh couch and talk about crocheting or soap operas with your wife while you THINK you are gonna be having his wife. 
 Those hung up on age are really missing out too. The best, most uninhibited lay I ever enjoyed in my life was 40 the first time we got together and five years older than me. Experience makes a difference. 

 So, if you find yourself  getting frustrated at your swinging efforts take a look at what you are expecting and be a bit more reasonable and realistic. 
Yes, there are couples and singles out there who look like Jenna Jameson and Peter North. 
But just because they are out there doesn't mean they are gonna find you, or that you would be there type if they did. 
There are a LOT more "Ordinary" and "Average" swingers out here in the real world than there are superstars and just because a gal or a guy looks like the average person next door doesn't mean they cant knock your socks off in the sack with some fun NSA sex. 
 Sexy is as sexy does.

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User Details are only visible to members.	while i like to peruse the forums to see how different people see things and maybe learn a thing or two about human nature and what makes people tick, this topic kind of struck a chord and it's really not surprising it didn't get more responses. the op pretty much described a lot of the mindset in the lifestyle and something i had observed a long time ago. one of the most annoying phrases i see in profiles is 'there must be PHYSICAL attraction!'. well that statement pretty much sums up their personality AND their intellect and they get an immediate 'block'. hating to burst a few bubbles, i'd like to dispel one of the biggest myths in the lifestyle. human beings and dolphins are the only of god's creatures the make a CONSCIOUS decision to have sex or NOT have sex. all the rest of god's creatures just KNOW it's time. i have yet to see a woman point her ass at me as it swells up and turns bright red to let me know she wants to mount me. there is no such thing as PHYSICAL attraction. pheremone, schmeremone. it hasn't been proven yet. a simple test of this 'phenomenon' is to just think about that one particular scent you smell on your mate that makes you just rip their clothes off and ravage them to no end. do you do the same to any other person who has that same scent? 99.9% of the time, i'm guessing that would be a big fat NO. what the uninformed or simply those led by their groin consider 'physical attraction' is simply what our MINDS have been programmed to think is the ideal and is just 'visual appeal'. it's what society, environment or simply the media has 'programmed' us for. one only has to look at the art of the middle ages to see how this 'ideal' has changed compared to modern day society and mass media. usually this 'requirement' is included with the statement somewhere in the profile 'open minded'. again, we're back to intellect and personality because you're not very open minded if you have 'restrictions' that people hide behind by calling them 'preferences'. oxymoron if i've ever seen one.
Terrytown LA			Username hidden (14 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Once again....you are absolutely correct. Direct them to our profile to read #1-#20 at the bottom of our page.
Newborn GA			Username hidden (61 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	bandp69 - that is a perfect description of my current gf.
Spring TX			Username hidden (34 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We've been thinking of updating our profile, maybe something this below? Seeking a young blond, curvy, mute, nymphomaniac lady that is rich, owns a yacht and jet to take us to St Barts for the weekend and entertain us. Is that to restrictive?
Painesville OH			Username hidden (130 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	*"Going to the bathroom is a religious experience as a result, but nothing that a good 30g of fiber can’t fix."* This caused me to bust up. Thankfully I wasn't taking a drink at the time. lol! *"It's easy to determine who's abusing steroids, one glimpse at their chin and you know, one glimpse at their forehead and you know. Didn't you ever notice how most famous body builders have this chiseled thick chin and a bulging forehead?"* First thing I thought of when I read that is Leno and had to chuckle. (not disagreeing with the statement, just something wacky that crossed my mind is all) *"But men do exist with an 8 inch penis. (about 1/10 the number who claim to have one) But either way, they exist. So its not unrealistic."* This seems to be missing Taranis's point. Sure, they exist. And if the people requesting such unholy mutant freaks of nature are of a disposition similar to Lost's (where they will be happy to find one, but don't give a toss if they never do (not that she's looking for THAT type, I meant just with regards to her preferences)), then it's fine. But Taranis is talking about the people who come on the forums and talk trash about how everyone is fake, nobody ever meets up, and how this whole site and lifestyle are BS, but meanwhile often have some of the things he mentioned, such as looking for the afforementioned freaks, or the grotesquely over-developed, or super hotties when they themselves are on the homely side, etc, etc. THAT's how it's unrealistic. I'll add one further bit to his original post too. Some don't come in to the forums and complain, but show in their profiles that they are looking for lots of action (and sometimes do complain in their profiles), and are often rude and over the top when talking about preferences as well.
Aston PA			Username hidden (366 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I think the term for the oversize chin and prognatheous forehead is acromegaly. And yeah, its one of a host of bad side effects from roids, as are 'bitch tits' , sterility, impotence, and of course the "picket fence" hairline. ===>Squatting any weight with your arms up holding the weight is not a smart idea and eventually will lead to injury and osteoarthritis in the wrists and knees. <=== Gotta agree with you on that one. I blew out a knee and have a torn rotator cuff. I also have osteoarthritis in my hips. Albeit I never attributed that to powerlifting. According to Wikipedia the causes of it are unknown, but it makes sense. I had a lifting coach back in the eighties who was hung up on squats as this great all around exercise even though it killed my back and knees. Looking back I wish I had just ignored him and stuck with the universal leg press machines, where I could do a whole stack for reps without any discomfort. Looking back in hindsight, I wish I had been more interested in fitness than just numbers too. ...I haven't been in a gym in years...and it shows! LOL...
Logan WV			Username hidden (1022 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Thank you for the info, S4.
Quakertown PA			Username hidden (1831 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Unrealistic expectations are only unrealistic if they cant find someone to match them. If the couple wants an 8 inch penis. And you dont have one. There is nothing you can do about it. So that would be an unrealistic expectation to you. But men do exist with an 8 inch penis. (about 1/10 the number who claim to have one) But either way, they exist. So its not unrealistic. I will say there are couples who list expectations that make you giggle. The couple that weighs 700lbs combined insisting that you must be "in great shape" But again, it may make you giggle, but its only unrealistic if they cant find a gym built guy who likes large people. Im sure they exist somewhere. A couple gets a tremendous amount of email. So usually a couple will start out with a pretty open profile and keep adding to it as they narrow down what they want and dont want.
Mount Juliet TN			Username hidden (662 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Actually Sed42 the reason you haven't been with a steroid user sexually is probably because so many of them can no longer function, I would guess. I have known dudes on Winstrol and Dianabol who fucked thier systems up so bad that to get a hardon they had to abuse viagra too. Some of these guys also have to take synthetic insulin by the way because their pancreas got damaged. As for why dudes take steroids, its like anything else. Some people just have to abuse stuff and some people want to take shortcuts. Competitive bodybuilding was around decades before Steroids. However the key to muscle mass is in nutrition just as much as training and hard work. And as a former gym rat from back in the 80s and 90s, I can assure you its hard to consume 1 gram of protien for every gram of bodyweight you have when you are in the 200 pound range. Thats a lot of canned tuna, chicken and protien suppliments. I could military press over 300 pounds over my head from a standing position and squat 500. However, I was not large and massive. I was actually rangy. The more I lifted the leaner and harder I got. Later, I found out about proper nutrition and got bigger. Without getting much stronger, because the size came from the protien in my system. But what a chore it was getting it in there! (and of course when I quit, I got fat again, LOL). What is really sad though is that some of the modern suppliments are as effective as the steroids dudes I knew took back in the 80s when I was into working out hardcore. In the late 90s, I was surprised to find that creatine added 25 pounds to my bench press in a few weeks. And mind you, I took the minimum recommended dosage. The nutrition thing ist he trickiest part. You have to have enough protien in your system to actually build the muscle mass. Without it, you don't get much size. So a lot of 'hard gainers' as the term used to be, will try Dianabol, Winstrol, HGH and Testosterone to get bigger when they feel they have exhausted everything else. Sadly, in my opinion most of them never did enough with plain ol nutrition and suppliments. I knew morons on roids who didnt' even work out much thinking they were gonna get big and ripped. It just made 'em flabby-er. These are dangerous substances and I don't think anybody in his or her right mind should be messing with them, but they do. There was one well known porn actor who couldn't get an erection, so he had to inject himself with caverject in his penis to get an erection. He also has a bodybuilder physique. I don't know which one, just that he is mentioned in at least one porn biography. There is a great book out about roid users and lifters by Samuel Fussel. One of the guys using Winstrol claimed it had to be okay becuase it was used for million dollar race horses and you wouldn't give a million dollar race horse something that was bad for it. Thats the mentality you are dealing with.
Logan WV			Username hidden (1022 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	S4, do guys use steroids because they have used up what potential they have to build muscle, and feel they need more, or do they use them because they think it will bulk them up faster?
Quakertown PA			Username hidden (1831 post)

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TOPIC: Unrealistic Expectations

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