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Time spent meeting others only to be disappointed! : Swingers Discussion 181587
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TOPIC: Time spent meeting others only to be disappointed!
Created by: silksheets
Original Starting post for this thread:
Hi room, We have taken the time to email with couples/singles then set up a meet and greet only to be greatly disappointed to see they are not who or what they say they are! How do you keep putting the energy and time into these meetings when you just can't find a match? We have a family so time is always an issue so when we do meet and we are not a match we get quite disappointed almost to the point of giving up! We have to say we have met a few that we clicked with but the majority have been nothing what they advertised!

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"because we have elected to seek couples for 3 some play it is more difficult to find couples who enjoy those arrangements. When first meeting new couples we allways meet them for either breakfast or lunch in a vanilla place with all understanding this is an audition with no plans beyond that. If you click then you can set a time to meet again. If you dont click, you have a nice meal and split......... "

RX,

No offense intended but I'm not really clear on what exactly you are looking for ...couples for 3 some Play? Your profile mentions your wife is apprehensive and that alone will scare off most couples and is rather vague about your play style.

Anniston AL
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Val,

Great point of view...I get a kick out of those couples who reply "Thanks, but we have enough friends right now..."

Can you really have enough friends? Ever?

Steve

Rowlett TX
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Jim, you are da man!!


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I think most people find it's a lot of work and time invested to find even one couple that is a really good "click" for all 4 involved. But how many do you need? If you have even 2 or 3 really good matches, you're doing well. But because people move away, die, or have health issues develop, there is never a very long time before you have to start "prospecting" again. Heck we have a few couple with whom we don't have sex anymore, but we still are great friends and enjoy a sensous kiss and some fondling. Don't you wish people greeted their vanilla friends that way? LOL

Jim

South Riding VA
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Great to hear Shell!! Huggs!!

Spring TX
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Stop going out with expectations. We go out to have fun and meet new people (or hang with old friends). If adult fun happens, it is a bonus.

Carrie

Corpus Christi TX
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I don't know the answer. I know that lately, I am finding this personally: Sex can bring out a really nasty, mean part of one's personality. Since we have started going out with people, no sex...just fun...we have had nothing but great times. The 4 years we spent trying to be sexual playmates with people...I have really and truly never been treated more mean by women than I have been in the sexual arena of swinging. Pretty much right now we are a soft swap (actually, flirtation really) monogamous swinging couple. If that is even anything lol. BUT there are more like us because last night the 2 couples, who are like us in their philosophy of things...had a friggin fun filled fantastic night. And we all went home and snuggled our own spouses. I think I have found my niche.


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I'll echo everyone else's sentiments. People are jerks. Doesn't matter if they are swingers, vanilla, singles or couples. Sometimes people are just lying, deceitful jerks who have such low self esteem that they feel that they must lie about themselves to appeal to a greater audience. The mindset is that once you've communicated with them a few times that you will like them enough to overlook the inaccuracies they used to describe themselves. Go onto any swinging or dating site and you're going to end up meeting people who aren't as they described in their profile. They aren't going to look like their profile pic because it was taken 5 years ago before they went a McDonald's diet.

You can possibly be a little more thorough in your communications with them to help ensure that they are who they claim to be....email a few more times before meeting and make sure that they are consistent with their story. When it comes to pics, ask them how old the pics are if you have doubts. If the person is who they claim to be, these things shouldn't be an issue. I know I wouldn't be offended if someone asked us to put up a pic with a date stamp on it. That would take all of 5 minutes out of my day. You won't weed out all the fakes and phonies but a little more diligence in your screening process could help reduce the disappointment factor when finally meeting others. Still, you'll never weed out 100% of them. It happens sometimes and there's not much you can do about it except have a beer and move on to the next one.

-Tony

Danville PA
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good to know. but i'll bet you could make them work if you tried.

;-)

Orlando FL
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Silk,

Unfortunately, it is part of the territory. Best thing you can do is set up meetings in neutral places such as clubs or parties so that in the event that y'all don't click, you can both go on with your evenings with the least awkwardness as possible and hopefully meet someone you like later in the evening.

Steve and Kaitlan

Rowlett TX
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TOPIC: Time spent meeting others only to be disappointed!