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Things you would tell new people entering the lifestyle : Swingers Discussion 1958991031
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TOPIC: Things you would tell new people entering the lifestyle
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If your relationship is broken this won't fix it. If you have a jealous nature it will be magnified. If you don't communicate well, you're in trouble. If one partner is 100% in on this you're doomed. Go at the pace of the slowest participant. Never agree to to something you're uncomfortable with. Expect all kinds of advice, both good and bad. Weed through it and take with you only what "fits" your relationship and/or your desires. Establish rules and guidelines amongst yourselves and STICK to them in the heat of the moment. Any changes to those rules should be made with a clear head and do in private. Remember Swinging is a growth process, for many it is not second nature and as such there will be issues to face. Use each experience as a step in growth. Never lose sight of the fact the your original objective was to share this journey together and as such individual preferences need to be put aside and replaced with a WE attitude. .......if one of you isn't "happy" neither of you will be in this adventure. Above all keep a sense of humor and never personalize rejection, never blame each other and never try to mold yourselves to the needs of others. Seek those who share the same desires as yourself and steer away from anyone who asks you to change to suit their desires. Good luck to you !

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
 
 
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playtime-I totally agree. I'm a bit crude and frank with some of what I write here but some of it is for effect (although I usually mean essentially what I write in more polite terms) and at the end of the day people matter more than my getting my jollies. The idea is to get my jollies by helping others get theirs through mutual activity simultaneously and to everyone's wishes and satisfaction. I've got many female family members and if they were here, I would very much want them to get with someone like myself who treats his playmates with the utmost kindness, care and consideration.

Saint Clair Shores MI
 
 
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We're still really new to all this, but I have to say that so far, couples seem to be impressed with us, because we care about them as human being. sure, we're all being living sex toys for each other, but before that we're all still human beings. Treat people as such and you'll gain a lot of respect.

Over time, you're also like to push your barriers a little bit. Be sure to talk about as much a you can. And have an agreement (hell sign a contract if you need to) to not blow up at the other person if a new/strange/different/undiscussed situation comes up. It's all in the name of fun and enjoyment.

Take time to still treat each other great. Make sure that you each know how important you are to each other. Enjoy things together. Don't like the LS rule you or your relationships.

Most importantly, have fun :)

Waco TX
 
 
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First of all, be a decent human being. Be honest with others about yourself with recent pictures and an accurate description. Don't be pushy or overbearing and don't e-mail profiles where you clearly are not wanted. And be reliable-show when you say you're going to, people may have revolved their week around meeting up with you! If you have to cancel, at least call. Respect that people might not be attracted to you when meeting in person or that if they are may not want to necessarily play as soon as you meet. And don't bait and switch on anything-your appearance (by posting pictures of yourself 70 pounds lighter or by misrepresentative statements), a game plan or on anything that was pre-determined that got you the initial date to begin with.

Make your profile clear and direct with a hint of elusive and it should be free of bitchy prose. Also, it is very foolish to make statements in your profile about how selective you are and limiting your target profiles, you may come off as entitled and deter would-be prospects that you may have been interested in. By keeping your target profile broad, you'll get more responses and YOU then get to decide who you want to meet. If you say you want 22 year old single female 5"8 and 120 pounds, you're going to get exactly zero responses. KEEP YOUR STATED TARGET SEARCH IN YOUR PROFILE BROAD!

When contacting others, a few general, complete, well-formed sentences will do. The idea with an initial contact is to let the other party know you're interested, that's all, some further details should be available for them in your profile. I use a general template of about 3 sentences when sending an initial e-mail, if there is interest beyond your profile, they'll respond and at that point they can find out more.

Put some effort in your appearance. The people who look better have more options and fun.

Saint Clair Shores MI
 
 
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I think we would tell people, something very simple....GO FOR IT...don't over analyze, just have fun and don't be too hard on others or yourselves...heck, you're only human, right...

Mokena IL
 
 
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Thanks Kat & us_plus :-)

Emeryville CA
 
 
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Heres the last emails we opened together. Keep in mind our profile. A BI couple only looking for BI MEN. We specify UNDER 35 and NO TRAVELERS. We also ask that you tell us a little something and have pics.

These are direct cut and paste with only personal info xxxxx out.

1. 49 straight male no pics

joey go to xxxxxxx and enter the free chat . look for me ....

2. 30 straight male stomach pic nothing else

I am xxxxxxxxx on yah if u want I can open my cam

3. 39 straight male

hi im cxxxxx I live in xxxxx tenn lets make it happen (phone number)

4. 34 bi male. local. almost a match but NO PICS

Feeling fun tonight?

5. 26 straight male 325 miles away

So are you interested?

6. 41 Straight male 630 miles away no pics

i luv to do bi 3way withg u guys. gimme shout

7. 32 straight male no pics

Let me know if you might be interested in meeting this weekend

At the bottom of our profile it says

WE DO NOT RESPOND TO THE FOLLOWING:

And we have a little list there which includes over 35, straight men, no face pics, one liners, etc.

So you're a 45 year old straight guy that sends us a one line email with no pics........

You now officially meet all of the criteria that we spelled out in our profile of an email that we tell you right up front that we will not respond to.

So now, when we dont respond you can come on the forums, start a thread and say "Why dont couples have the courtesy to respond when I email them?"

Mount Juliet TN
 
 
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Mrsnew, since your a paid member, easiest thing to do is delete this profile when it expires. Otherwise, I believe you have to appeal to the site admin and I don't know how that will work.

Memphis TN
 
 
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Us_plus, the ref is a great idea. There could be penalties and freethrows and timeout in the penalty box and all kinds of good stuff!

Memphis TN
 
 
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yourluvrman. That is great advice. We like!

Aloha OR
 
 
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TOPIC: Things you would tell new people entering the lifestyle