Telling people that you swing : Swingers Discussion 41941

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Telling people that you swing : Swingers Discussion 41941

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TOPIC: Telling people that you swing

Created by: pageturner	The original post for this thread was deleted.

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User Details are only visible to members.	Absolutely. Although they never stay with us while in town we do prefer they choose weekends we are free to visit. Since they are still childless it's much easier for them to work around our free time than the other way around.
Jennings LA			Username hidden (771 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	NJC, we'll be in the area Wednesday. Please leave the light on.
Saint Augustine FL			Username hidden (12572 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We have only 'fessed up to one person. The husband of my wife's cousin. They live a couple of hours away and just showed up in town one day. We usually do something with them when this happens. This weekend we had plans that we were unwilling to break. We met them for drinks and joking around for a few hours before we left and several times he asked me where we were going and if it would be okay if they joined us. I finally got tired of avoiding his answers directly so said, "Here's the deal. We are going to meet a few couples. There is a possibility that we may not all be leaving with the partners we showed up with. Talk it over and if you two would like to come I'll give them all a call and see if they mind if we bring you two." His answer was "I think xxx would be uncomfortable with that." And he hasn't mentioned it since then. On a side note, they always contact us beforehand when they are coming to town these days to see if we are free.
Jennings LA			Username hidden (771 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Well put Content. Makes a lot of sense to me.
Saint Augustine FL			Username hidden (12572 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Lisa, I think the double standard stems from the old notion that having sex for fun is bad. If you are a swinger then you plan beforehand to adopt a lifestyle consisting of repeat "bad behavior". If you just cheat, then at least you can pretend--to yourself and others--that it was a spur of the moment thing, that you got caught by the passion of the moment, but you don't systematically plan to do these things. You are just weak and these things happen to you. If you are a swinger, on the other hand, you are deliberately misbehaving. (Parenthetically, this "misbehaving" aspect of swinging is what makes it so special to us!). The same kind of thinking explains why many single women do not have condoms in their purse; it would be an acknowledgement that they plan to have sex, or at least maybe. But having sex in the heat of the passion is "accepted" according to this kind of morality. Swinging is more mature and more honest, and incompatible with the traditional--puritanical--sense of morality.
Pittsburgh PA			Username hidden (1153 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Bacchus, I just find it too cool that you guys have "monkey business" cards. I want some! We have only told a select few what we do. The people we've told either already had a few skeletons of their own or are just our closest friends and we wanted to let them know. We don't want to tell too many people because (1) we enjoy our naughty little secret and (2) we don't want our friends to think we're coming on to them just by letting them know our lifestyle. If we wanted to make a move on them, we would have by now...but I guess some people don't see it that way. Have any of you noticed a double standard about swinging? Like if someone is a cheater it's almost more accepted than swinging? It's almost OK to know someone has a lover but as soon as someone is a swinger, they are a perv and a slut? (Not saying I'm neither LOL) At least we're honest. My honey knows what I'm up to. -Lisa-
Wilmington DE			Username hidden (1094 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We don't specifically tell people but we don't make an effort to hide it either. For instance, we got outed at a party this past week that only I attended. There was a number of people that I didn't know or was only minimally acquainted with. Several ladies and I decided to exchange contact information to follow up on something or other. I realized I didn't have any business cards in my wallet other than our "monkey business" cards. There's nothing glaringly obvious on them but it only took an hour before a friend delicately said there was some speculation going on about our card. After much beating around the bush I finally asked him flat out if the speculation was about swinging. After he said yes, I just replied that yes we were but to feel free to reassure people I wouldn't be hitting on anyone that evening.
Saint Augustine FL			Username hidden (12572 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	lajax, I was going to give my 2 cents but you said it better than I ever could. Basically we too have been tempted at times to share our secrets but then decided better to keep it within ourselves....and our swinging friends, of course!!!
Pittsburgh PA			Username hidden (1153 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	When we first started last year, it was hard not to tell people. But now, it just feels like what we do, and so that "need to tell" isn't as bad as it was at first. C. told his brother last fall, and he was weirded out by it. I considered telling my sibs, but I don't really see any need to tell them. I wouldn't lie to them if they figured it out, but since I'm not really in frequent contact with most of them, and we all live far apart, it's unlikely it'll ever be an issue. My two closest friends know. No one else needs to. C. probably wouldn't face any repercussions at his job, but I most certainly would from mine, so we keep it private. Not that we're ashamed of swinging, but we can't afford for me to lose my job over it. L.
Ithaca NY			Username hidden (1611 post)

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TOPIC: Telling people that you swing