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Talking to others not in the lifestyle : Swingers Discussion 181309
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TOPIC: Talking to others not in the lifestyle
Created by: swmichmilk
Original Starting post for this thread:
We have some friends that we would like to talk about the lifestyle. They are not in the lifestyle that we know of. We are both attracted to them and would love to have them join us. But we don't know how to bring things up to them. Anyone have suggestions that might help us?

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Welcome to the forum SnC810

Too bad you don't "share" with single guys.

;^)

Youngstown OH
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We keep our vanilla life separate from the lifestyle. Too many potential opportunities for drama when the two start to mix, especially if you share other vanilla friends with this couple. OTOH, if you're really determined to play with this couple, you might try to break the ice next time you're having a few drinks by telling them you found out someone at work was a "swinger" and see how they react. If they're grossed out, leave them alone. If not, suggest that it sounds kinda fun and go from there.

Virginia Beach VA
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If you have one, we have found the hot tub to be a great ice breaker. Make a joke about "no suits in the tub" and see how they react. Once everyone is naked it is easier to talk.

Middletown DE
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There are certainly ways to approach this without talking about the lifestyle. Invite them over, have a few drinks and subtly flirt a bit. Wear something a little provocative but not overtly so. You and your husband might start acting a little frisky in front of them and gauge their reaction. Are they uncomfortable seeing you two kiss? If not, make a subtle comment about how much fun you two are going to have later and smile. Act as if your sexuality is perfectly natural (because it IS) and you are comfortable being "yourselves" in front of them. at some point, both of you need to go into another room (kitchen to get snacks, whatever) so they can talk in private. If when you return, they excuse themselves with an excuse to go home, you know they aren't comfortable with the idea but you have not revealed anything more than that you are hot for each other. If they stay, up the ante a little at a time with a little touch or fondle of your spouse or one of you maybe sits next to them and see what happens. If they are still smiling, it may be a go. If not, you are still friends.

To me, this sounds like FUN! And again, if nothing comes of it, you have not exposed yourselves like you would if you mentioned swinging.

Youngstown OH
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This is a female-to-female situation only. Since you have the interest and they are probably unaware, they would react with aversion or avoidance if you both approached them. You (the swinging female) should reveal a short story of her recent 'open affair' with another couple. Let the other female feel that she can comment about it in any way. That should reveal whether or not their relationship might be open to something similar.

**ZZ**

Treasure Is FL
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One way you could start to feel things out a little bit would be to just ask them a few "innocent" questions. If there is a local strip club... bring it up and ask if they have heard of it or ever been there because you thought it might be fun to see some time.... If you have a local swing club.. ask them if they have ever heard of a club called xyz or whatever it is in your area. If they are vanilla.. not likely they would recognize the name. Then play it off whichever way it works best.

That would give you an idea if they are involved already and what their level of interest or comfort is with things.

Just a thought to throw out there for your consideration. ;)

City Of Spokane Valley WA
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We have some friends that we would like to talk about the lifestyle. They are not in the lifestyle that we know of. We are both attracted to them and would love to have them join us. But we don't know how to bring things up to them. Anyone have suggestions that might help us?

Niles MI
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TOPIC: Talking to others not in the lifestyle