Taking one for the team: Swingers Discussion 181861

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Taking one for the team: Swingers Discussion 181861

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TOPIC: Taking one for the team

Created by: hellokitty1969	The original post for this thread was deleted.

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User Details are only visible to members.	Sweet, Allswell, You are both absolutely correct..that is why it is such a very personal thing. Steve
Rowlett TX			Username hidden (96 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	:I would say it really depends on why you swing. For us: neither of us has a need or desire to be intimate alone with an other person, our pleasure comes from sharing the experience together.: Sweet, we totally agree! People come into the lifestyle for all sorts of reasons. Some just because they love having sex with others. If it is just about sex, then separate rooms should not be an issue for you. For us, the lifestyle has brought us closer. Neither of us has the desire to be alone with someone else. It is not a matter of trust, it is just not what we want. The ability to watch each other with someone else is a huge thrill for us. Separate rooms defeat that purpose. Don't get me wrong. We do not look down on those that do the separate room thing. It's just not what we want. To each their own. If someone contacts us for separate rooms only, that would simply be another incompatibility for us to say no.
Endwell NY			Username hidden (50 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	As for the subject of "Separate Rooms" well, that is a very personal and deeply sensitive area. I will simply say it does go to the very core of the relationship and touches on comfort, trust and security. I would say it really depends on why you swing. For us: neither of us has a need or desire to be intimate alone with an other person, our pleasure comes from sharing the experience together. as far as the "Inequality of Attractiveness" What we run into more are men who that care of themselves and women who just can't stop eating. But then again the lifestyle is a lot more forgiving when a women is over weight than it is to men in the same condition.
New Orleans LA			Username hidden (2191 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Allswell, Sweet, Very deep subjects that could be discussed for hours! One of my (Steve) pet peeves is abuse of the English language and I, too, abhor messages from adults that read like a 5 year old wrote them. Words are the most powerful tools you have. For gosh sakes, how hard is it to run spell check before you send? Question. Isn't the lifestyle supposed to be about acceptance and diversity? Our observations in the lifestyle have been that the "Inequality of Attractiveness" as I like to call it, is more the norm in our particular category and usually the woman is gorgeous while the guy is less appealing. Big kudos to the guy for winning the heart of his Queen! However, lets face it, first impressions are very important and looks ARE important to most swingers. To some swingers, looks are the ONLY consideration. Personally, we prefer couples and/or singles who have self esteem, pride, and good hygiene along with personality as a start. A great smile is one of the most beautiful things and we love the opportunity to learn something new from a couple we just met!. Don't you agree? As for the subject of "Separate Rooms" well, that is a very personal and deeply sensitive area. I will simply say it does go to the very core of the relationship and touches on comfort, trust and security. Steve...and Kaitlan
Rowlett TX			Username hidden (96 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	allswellendwell We actually agree. Personally i enjoy showing my wife off and watching her play more than i enjoy playing myself. And whats funny is she enjoys showing me off and watching me play more than she enjoys playing. And we too try to find couples who are more like us, But even with those couples we can find things we don't like, but the funny part is that most of the time the things we don't like are the very things we don't like about ourselves. We are friends with a couple we have know for over two years the we really enjoy hanging out with, but If we wanted to start picking out the things that rub us the wrong way, we would have to ask ourselves why we even still see them. We actually had a big falling out after the first year that made our relationship even stronger.
New Orleans LA			Username hidden (2191 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Thanks sweet for the reply. Maybe we do look for more things to turn us off than on. I guess we look for those that are most similar to us, in looks and attitude. The couples that we've been with that fit that have been our best times. When we've been with a couple that are not that similar to us, we have pretty much regretted the experience. As we only play once or twice a year, maybe three times if we are lucky, we don't have the luxury of much experimenting. The experience that we have had, has made us more picky. And I agree, no one that I have been with is sexier than my wife :) I consider this lifestyle more of a way to show her off and not a way to find a replacement for her. That's why we only do same room and never separate rooms. I don't even understand separate rooms. The best part of this lifestyle is to watch each other. That's the biggest turn on I get.
Endwell NY			Username hidden (50 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	There have been couples we turned down that look very attractive, but there's just something about them that turns one of us off. First I like your distinction between being attractive to and being attracted to. But It sounds like you are looking for reasons to not be attracted to a couple. Understanding that no one is going to be a perfect for us as we are for each other,We try to look for reason to be attracted to a coupled, If not we would never play with anyone, and for sure would never become friends,because if you are looking for a reason not to like someone I guarantee the longer you know someone the more reasons you will find. Have we found people who we didn't want to spend time with,Sure, but they are far and few. Honestly If i spent enough time looking for reason not to like my wife i could find them.
New Orleans LA			Username hidden (2191 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	well do you really think that i married my hubby because hes ugly? So,So true. My wife says I'm the sexiest men alive, and she truly believes that (I'm a little more realistic ), And I thinks she the sexiest women. And we both know that we are better in bed than anyone we have ever been with, and there have be a lot. It' all about love and knowing each other sexual hot spots. And to be honest any couple that doesn't fell that way about each other should really take a look at their relationship. Most people would consider us a mismatched couple. and the funny thing is that most of the times we are turned down because of it, the male of the other couple isn't all that.which leads us to believe that either she's as blinded by love as much as my wife or she's not really happy with what she has. The truth is we will never meet a couple were I think the wife looks better than mine and deb thinks the man looks better than me.It's just not going to happen.
New Orleans LA			Username hidden (2191 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	rowlett, We'll have to agree to disagree on that subject ;) quiggy, I think profiles that state "we want both partners attractive" is not what they actually mean. As attraction is in the eye of the beholder, what they probably meant was "we want to be attracted to both of you". Being attractive is subjective, but being attracted to is more definite. We are more on the picky side. We need to have a full attraction to both parties. My wife told me that she doesn't want to watch me with someone she finds unattractive. This makes it very difficult to find people that we would play with. There have been couples we turned down that look very attractive, but there's just something about them that turns one of us off. Attraction has to do with more than just looks. One of the most unattractive things we get are emails with most the words misspelled, and grammar sounding like a 3 year old. We don't care what you look like, if you can't talk like a grown up, we want nothing to do with you.
Endwell NY			Username hidden (50 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Sweettart, You are dead on! Nothing makes you feel resentment more than knowing someone used you for their agenda. Steve
Rowlett TX			Username hidden (96 post)

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TOPIC: Taking one for the team