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Taking one for the Team : Swingers Discussion 178917
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TOPIC: Taking one for the Team
Created by: JackDarlene
Original Starting post for this thread:
Food for Thought: I see so many who state "We never 'take one for the team'" and they won't play unless everyone is attracted to everyone. That's all well and good in theory, but in practice it come down to "we won't play" more often than not.

It's difficult enough getting TWO people to generate sparks. (Remember how many others you dated before you found each other?) The difficulty in generating sparks increases by the power of the number of people involved. That means 4 to the 4th power Against everyone in two couples having great chemistry! that works out to 256:1 Against any playing. You'll got through a Lot of couples looking for that perfect match.

The usual course of two couples A/B and C/D meeting is that A and C will have great chemistry while B and D aren't repelled but aren't sparking either. The whole point to swinging is to Have Fun, so we let flexibility point the way. If B and D want to see how much fun they can have, go for it. If it turns out that they're not having any fun, then quit. Sometimes she plays and I don't. Sometimes I play and she doesn't. Sometimes we both play...but that's very unusual. It all evens out in the long run.

Is that 'taking one for the team' or is that injecting reality in human relations?

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Sometimes you both take a chance and maybe it's not a fantastic time for one of you or even both. I don't think of that as taking one for the team. Taking some chances and being with new people is all part of swinging. Some times you both go to other dimensions, sometimes you'll both just be OK. But if you know going into this that you're going to have to close your eyes and imagine your favorite sexual experience or fantasy, well, you're definitely taking one for the team.

Southington CT
 
 
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We have taken one for the team or I should say the female haft has taken one for the team...for her it was the male of the other couple was short changed in the man hood area...but we will not take one for the team any more

North Adams MI
 
 
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MY LADY AND I ARE A TEAM AND WE DO NOT TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM. THAT BEING SAID IF I'M NOT CLICKING WITH THE LADY AND MY LADY IS WITH THE GUY AND IF I LIKE HIM (BECAUSE I HAVE VETO RIGHTS LOL) AND AS LONG AS OUR RULES ARE FOLLOWED ALL IS COOL. MY LADY HAS LET ME PLAY WITH A FEW LADIES BY MY SELF AS LONG AS IT'S AT OUR HOUSE AND SHE IS IN THE HOUSE AT THE TIME IT HAPPENS AND I DO THE SAME FOR HER. NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO CLICK BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN WE CAN'T HANG OUT AND BE FRIENDS AND WE LIKE TO BE FRIENDS WE HAVE CPL, THAT THE LADY IS NOT ATTRACTED TO ME SEXUALLY BUT SHE AND I ARE THE BEST OF FRIENDS AND HAVE NEVER PLAYED BUT IT WILL NOT BE LONG BE FOR HER MAR AND MY LADY PLAY

Bethlehem PA
 
 
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MY LADY AND I ARE A TEAM AND WE DO NOT TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM. THAT BEING SAID IF I'M NOT CLICKING WITH THE LADY AND MY LADY IS WITH THE GUY AND IF I LIKE HIM (BECAUSE I HAVE VETO RIGHTS LOL) AND AS LONG AS OUR RULES ARE FOLLOWED ALL IS COOL. MY LADY HAS LET ME PLAY WITH A FEW LADIES BY MY SELF AS LONG AS IT'S AT OUR HOUSE AND SHE IS IN THE HOUSE AT THE TIME IT HAPPENS AND I DO THE SAME FOR HER. NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO CLICK BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN WE CAN'T HANG OUT AND BE FRIENDS AND WE LIKE TO BE FRIENDS WE HAVE CPL, THAT THE LADY IS NOT ATRACTTED TO ME SEXULLY BUT SHE AND I ARE THE BEST OF FRIENDS AND HAVE NEVER PLAYED BUT IT WILL NOT BE LONG BE FOR HER MAR AND MY LADY PLAY

Bethlehem PA
 
 
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taking one for the team means that you are willing to let the other enjoy while you don't this is not what we look for because we get turned on by sharing and seeing the enjoyment in each others heavy pants, moans, and wetness. If one person doesn't enjoy themselves, then its not equal like we desire.

Fairfax VA
 
 
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For me "taking on for the team" means you have no attraction to the other man/woman at all . It happens , but usually in the heat of the moment most people become much more appealing lol . That being said , I never want to find out someone "took one for the team" when they were with me !

Allentown PA
 
 
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RX, I could not have worded that any better. We are exactly the same.

Pulaski TN
 
 
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Lost, Im not sure where you get your feeling from that I in any way said "this is your fault" I made nor implied any such thing. I simply said OUR experience hasn't had the drama nor been unsuccessful. I do not expect you to settle or as you put it "give away free pussy" . If the attraction isn't there it isn't there. Each of us has our own measure of what's attractive whether it is a combination of things or strictly looks and each of us has the right chose partners accordingly. If your happy with your swing experiences I am happy for you. I don't profess to be an expert on how to fix others, their problems or their relationships , what I can do is share our own experiences and how and why they work for US.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
 
 
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Sav, I am glad for you. I do not like however how you seem to say "its your fault why you are this or that." wtf is that about. I have not been from coast to coast. And yes, I am a picky, selective bitch. I know who I am, I know what I want and if he is not that person guess what..I'm not giving free pussy. I do not look for "personality". Thats a part of it...but if you do not stimulate me sexually, as in my 2 eyeballs...you are out. BUT this is why I rarely played and was happy that way.

San Marcos TX
 
 
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I agree that the the couples we meet there has to be some attraction what I mean is that the attraction is completely different than were we trying to find a lasting partner and thus our requirements are different. I will say this we have found that the couples we get along best with are couples whose wife takes an attactive interest in swingin , reviews profiles herself and that she and I like each other . I do not mean sexually either ( thats a bonus) but if the women like and respect each other the outcome of the evening is generally more successful for lack of a better word. In fact I dont care how much I like the male half if I don't like and respect his partner we're finished . Our bigest rule is making sure that she is actively involved. We wont even meet others if I have no spoken to her personally. Perhaps that is part of our all around success. Don't get me wrong if shes great and he isn't we're still done lol.

But generally our swinging experiences have all been great and drama has never been a part of our swinging experience.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
 
 
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TOPIC: Taking one for the Team