Standards too high What to do: Swingers Discussion 2029351041

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Standards too high What to do: Swingers Discussion 2029351041

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TOPIC: Standards too high What to do

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User Details are only visible to members.	The male is all excited but the females half is off chasing after the young studs. Sometimes we think these women don't even enjoy sex with their husbands." heehee, I will admit to a degree to being like these women. I like em young. I like them young and hard, I cannot even sit here and bullshit. Do I ONLY like men in their late 20s and early 30s? Of course not. Does that mean that my husband is insufficient because he is 41? No! But I am here to meet a certain sexual taste I have...and I like them in that demographic. If a hottie is 44 and meets my fancy, no problem. But do not assume that a woman, if she likes younger men in the lifestyle and her hubby is older....does not like her husband.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23612 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Like someone else said What is hot and sexy is different to everyone, My wife thinks i'm the sexiest man a live,But than again she needs new glasses.
New Orleans LA			Username hidden (2186 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Wow i guess we are the opposite from what i read here. I(Mr. Nice) am the picky bastard in our swinging life. Mrs. Naughty constantly amazes me with who she picks where i am consistent in what i look for. Luckily this has worked for us most of the time but we have walked away from some couples where she just shakes her head wondering why i have no interest. I have taken one or two for the team as they say when we got into the LS. But its something i refuse to do now and she understands. This has not stoppped her from trying to talk me into a few though lol. This is mainly why we enjoy MFM she gets her fun and I dont feel the pressure of trying to have sex with someone i have no attraction to at all. Her philosophy is "Im not dating or gonna marry them I just want to have fun and screw them" all good if thats the way you feel but for me to "get to Attention" i need the attraction Physically and mentally. Guess we are oddballs but that is what makes it so exciting for us!!!!!
Delta PA			Username hidden (124 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Lol! Fun, I don't think YOUR baseball cap will be a problem ;-) After all rules are made to be broken sometimes... But since you are concerned about that particular "rule" of mine, here is another: "Either I am attracted or not." if I am, no baseball cap will get in my way!
Panama City Beach FL			Username hidden (1927 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"Well, one of my common turn offs is a guy wearing a baseball cap in the picture; I cannot stand them. No meeting, no play. The end." Uh oh.
San Quentin CA			Username hidden (8604 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	WMisonewfriends, welcome (back) to the forums! Thank you for presenting us with yet another facet of the lifestyle. It is a very interesting question... But guess what: in my opinion, no one should lower their standards! I agree with lost, the bottom line truly is what you are looking for. Looking for quality? You can have it. Desiring quantity? You can have it too. Neither is wrong. If the sexual activity turns you on, go for it! It seems to me, like OP and his woman have somewhat different outlooks on swinging. I have been in that situation with my ex. He wanted to play, but me, being new back then, I wanted real attraction. As a result, we did not play a lot. I know, it was frustrating him at times. We had split up for personal reasons, but I remained in the lifestyle, because these few experiences I had while with my ex, were fabulous and I wanted more! And I know, my first experiences were fabulous, because I have never "lowered" my standards. And I never will. BTW, what is "hot"??? Everyone's definition of "hot" is different. I want to say, what turns me on, is "hot" to me. That's it. If we are talking about magazine and Hollywood "hot", y'all can have at it, lol. These overly "hot" folks actually turn me off. High standards? I do not have a specific set of standards. Either I am attracted, or not... If not, meeting and play is not happening. End of story. No telling, what might be the trigger. Well, one of my common turn offs is a guy wearing a baseball cap in the picture; I cannot stand them. No meeting, no play. The end. I know, my standards are high, but they are high in the sense, that if I get the "off" feeling about anything (and that "anything" may or may not make sense to anyone; it is my prerogative to decide, just like it is everyone's prerogative to decide about their lifestyle choices), nothing will happen. End of story. You want to call me a picky bitch, or a fake, because I am not willing to put out, so be it. I want to be happy with my lifestyle choices. Works like a charm. I am not lowering my standards for anyone. Sure, I do not get to play too often, but I do not want to play, just to play. Quality for me, please! And by "quality", I do not mean looks, or wealth, or publicity, or whatever influences one's vanilla life. The "qualities" I am seeking, are undefinable, but they have one thing in common: they thoroughly turn me on. When they are out there, I will spot them! Damn, I am being talkative, lol. Anyway, going back to the OP, It seems like there is quite a challenge laid out for them, to balance his desire to play with her desire for those unnamed standards she has. One solution may be to consider playing separately... In any case, there will have to be lots of open and sincere conversation about what each partner wants out of swinging. It is about finding the perfect compromise (isn't any relationship a constant, revolving compromise of some sort?). The ultimate truth is, swinging is NOT for everyone. So sometimes the conflict may boil down to figuring out, what you desire more: Do you want to play, or do you want to spend the rest of your life with your partner...?
Panama City Beach FL			Username hidden (1927 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I see what youre getting at. Kind of an interesting way of putting it. My wife doesnt have a set of standards. And I cant figure it out. I mean, yes, she is picky. But there is not a set of guidelines she uses. Being a "bi" couple the guys that Im interested in, or interested in seeing her with dont often match. Im the one that usually points out the young, cute, hung...etc. Especially first timers... She found more of an attraction in slightly older guys who are experienced. Obviously a physical attraction. But she also looks for personalty and their ability to "seduce her without cybering" if that makes any sense. Thats why I write about our frustration with how people email us all the time. Guys that I KNOW she would want....And I would want too, ruin it by their email. Our profile is kind of an instruction manual of how to get into our bedroom. If you can hit those key points. Then the likelyhood of meeting is pretty high if you are attractive. We have "bent the rules" when it comes to certain things because of this. So while yes, she is "picky" on looks. She is more picky on finding someone that she thinks can perform in a way she likes.
Mount Juliet TN			Username hidden (662 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I am picky and when I want to have hot steamy fun sex I want it to be with someone I am attracted to that I cant wait to see undress or be undressed by, touch that skin ,,or run my hand thru their hair, something that I am excited and anxious to have fun with... not someone that makes me think well it shouldnt take him too long.. or someone that there is no spark with. I can sit at a table, dance, joke, have a grand time but if you dont really light my fire, then I would rather pass instead of having to lower what I find hot sexy and want to fuck like a mad woman.
Spring TX			Username hidden (1844 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Everyone should be picky,We are.. The problem we run into though is that My wife likes her men corn feed, in other words she likes what she has at home It's what turns her on,so that's what she looks for when we look for couples, And I like what I have at home also so that's what I look for . We don't find many, but when we do find what when are looking for, The male is all excited but the females half is off chasing after the young studs. Sometimes we think these women don't even enjoy sex with their husbands. Also If you or your so looks like raggedy Ann or Andy, chasing after Ken and Barbie is kinda of useless
New Orleans LA			Username hidden (2186 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	So what happens when your partner has such high standards that she rules just about everyone out?" Ohhh, I can relate. I am sexually attracted to very few. I see it like shoes. You either like them or you don't. And I don't like many. What happens? Well, it can definately mean that she does not play as often as she would if she lowered her sexual standards. It all sits on what you are looking for. Some want to fuck. They see swinging as you are here to fuck, not necessarily look for attraction. So for them, numbers are the important thing. I am not saying this is bad, it is what it is. And then for others, they do want to fuck...but they want to fuck those with whom they have sexual and physical attraction. For these swingers, numbers are behind the experience. And they would rather go home without fucking strange vs. fucking strange that did not have attraction. Neither is wrong...just different. Its what you are looking for.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23612 post)

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TOPIC: Standards too high What to do