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Should we post rules on profile : Swingers Discussion 211175
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TOPIC: Should we post rules on profile
Created by: kimplusejoe
Original Starting post for this thread:
I have read a few people advise that cpls post their rules on their profile so as to make them clear to others who may be interested. What do you think of that? Do you think it should be done?

When I say rules I mean rules like: I want to meet perspective dates or at the very least speak to them BEFORE my mate meets with them alone, I want to know BEFORE hand if he wants to have a spur of the moment meet with one of them, ALWAYS use a condom (NO NEGOTIATIONS), don't get pregnant, we don't want any diseases and no romantic emotional relationships - if you want a new husband or wife or boyfriend or girlfriend - go find one don't come to one of us for it. If one of us feels its becoming more of an emotional, romantic type relationship than a lifestyle thing it WILL be stopped, cut off, end of story.

My husband and I have communicated these rules with each other and we are very much aware and clear on them but I have read others on here suggest that it should also made clear to perspective dates. Whats your opinions on that?

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No problem posting some rules, but perhaps sprinkle in some of your personality and some of the fun that you do want to have.

Oklahoma City OK
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I like the suggestions of what to do about rules, I mean about some being common sense. I also like the suggestion of seeking advice in the "Better Profiles" forum. I think I might try that out. And maybe some of the rules are better discussed in person if it works out to be a date.

Here's the things I have come across in just the short time that I have started testing the waters so to speak. (Joe has been doing this a bit longer). And yes this may sound like a vent. We have a cpl that are friends of ours that have experienced just recently people trying to have sex with/out a condom with them. Also recently my husband just had to stop seeing someone because it was becoming much more of a relationship than a lifestyle thing, she seemed particularly attached and maybe even a bit obsessed with him and he loved the attention. They got together on a weekday spur of the moment with out telling each other's spouse until after the fact. That bothered both of us - myself and her spouse. She is married and has been for something like 25 years. Towards the end she was judging my actions as his wife and comparing herself to me and stating how she would treat him better if they were together. Part of what angered me is that she didn't even know the entire story about what she was talking about so she was passing judgment on me without knowing all the facts. She was telling my husband how she would treat him better meanwhile she was hiding her actions from her own husband keeping him the dark about all the phone calls, I'm sure he didn't know about ALL the text messages (thousands - no not kidding) and they were discussing meeting behind his back because she knew it would bother him. And yet she was judging me as my husband's wife, that floored me.

I don't mind him kissing others and he doesn't mind me kissing others lol. We want to have fun and see where this takes us. We would just like to nip any potential issues in the bud before they occur if possible. So I'm hoping with guidance and advice of some of you more seasoned swingers we will be able to avoid future issues but also help people feel welcomed. Please feel free to share and offer more advice. I do appreciate the advice already given up to this point and will consider all of it. Thanks again. :)

Burnsville MN
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I agree with the previous post- it totally depends on the rule. That being said, a profile that reads as all rules and no flirtatiousness can be a turnoff - perhaps post your rules at the end of the profile, save the boring stuff for last? I'd rather hear about what you *want* to do to me, not what you don't ;) Does that no kissing rule ever work, anyway? Hubby and I tried that one. . .and it lasted about 15 seconds into our first soft-swap experience. Hah! Silly us.

Virginia Bch VA
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Welcome to the forums! The general rule on rules seems to be that if the rule is common sense, i.e.; D/D free, safe sex, no fakes or flakes, etc., then you don't include it in your profile. If the rule takes more than a few words to explain or is a bit complicated it would probably be best to discuss it in an email after you've been contacted rather than clutter up your profile. If the rule is a deal breaker, like same room only, no kissing, etc. you would probably want to include that in your profile. Most couples discuss rules, preferences, and boundaries during the first face to face meeting because everyone is present and there is less chance of misunderstandings. If you request others to review your profile in the "Better Profiles" forum you will get valuable feedback on your profile as a whole.

Virginia Beach VA
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I have read a few people advise that cpls post their rules on their profile so as to make them clear to others who may be interested. What do you think of that? Do you think it should be done?

When I say rules I mean rules like: I want to meet perspective dates or at the very least speak to them BEFORE my mate meets with them alone, I want to know BEFORE hand if he wants to have a spur of the moment meet with one of them, ALWAYS use a condom (NO NEGOTIATIONS), don't get pregnant, we don't want any diseases and no romantic emotional relationships - if you want a new husband or wife or boyfriend or girlfriend - go find one don't come to one of us for it. If one of us feels its becoming more of an emotional, romantic type relationship than a lifestyle thing it WILL be stopped, cut off, end of story.

My husband and I have communicated these rules with each other and we are very much aware and clear on them but I have read others on here suggest that it should also made clear to perspective dates. Whats your opinions on that?

Burnsville MN
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(2 posts)
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TOPIC: Should we post rules on profile