Seeking sincere, serious profile input : Swingers Discussion 195199

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TOPIC: Seeking sincere, serious profile input

Created by: maritimers Original Starting post for this thread:
I suspect it's been awhile since most of the thoughtful, mature folk in these fora have had a chance to usher sincere newcomers through the complex maze of "alternative lifestyle." As a public service to all you creative thinkers, I have recast my profile, exposing additional light... Soliciting your input. For those with good reading comprehension and the inclination to form and share opinions, please have at it. I expect probing questions and hard-hitting advice; I recognize the distinction between critical analysis and knee-jerk criticism. Bring it all. I hope it is clear that my goal is not to attract many, but with real precision to attract even one or a few. If the dialogue is worthy, I wonder if I might not construct a profile so true that I attract nobody?

Created by: maritimers
Original Starting post for this thread:

I suspect it's been awhile since most of the thoughtful, mature folk in these fora have had a chance to usher sincere newcomers through the complex maze of "alternative lifestyle."    As a public service to all you creative thinkers, I have recast my profile, exposing additional light...  Soliciting your input.  

For those with good reading comprehension and the inclination to form and share opinions, please have at it.  I expect probing questions and hard-hitting advice; I recognize the distinction between critical analysis and knee-jerk criticism.  Bring it all.

I hope it is clear that my goal is not to attract many, but with real precision to attract even one or a few.  If the dialogue is worthy, I wonder if I might not construct a profile so true that I attract nobody?

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User Details are only visible to members.	Hey Kind, thanks for feeding back. Yeah, the profile is too long, I'll edit some more later. All communication presumes on others' time. I'm cool that only a very few will read.
Amherst Canada			Username hidden (1700 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	How come it wasn't moved to Better Profiles? to the OP: "For those with good reading comprehension and the inclination to form and share opinions, please have at it." ---- ...is 'good reading comprehension' ...a 'recquiremet' ...for the people you are seeking to play with or become involved with, also? ...if so, they may like your profile. but ...if not, i think you're profile is wayyyy too long and i could not read through it ...even though i was interested and intrigued by your lifestyle and what you are seeking ...just my opinion
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2981 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Thread moved here from Open Forum
Coral Springs FL			Username hidden (12055 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Thanks Fun, good comments, great questions. I changed the description further in response to the points stated and implicit in your post. I do get that I am not likely to actually attract playmates this way. C'est la vie. NYC Lady is not a party to the account and I go out on a limb suggesting that she might welcome introductions. She has a profile up on the big free fishy dating site as well as on the paid marriage-minded matchy site, and keeps feeling disappointed, after much work, to meet great guys who run and hide when they hear she desires a poly relationship. I have told her that if she is truly desires an open relationship with me, perhaps she would have better luck searching for other lovers on SLS. Prejudice likely tricks her into thinking a higher percentage of single guys here would be sleazier than the ones on other sites; I think she has the upside down. I also wonder if there would be coupled men on here who could still offer her the meaningful connection she desires. (I am not unmindful that some married women would not want their man near that with a ten-foot pole, but that's just another generalization.) Ms. Maritimer is on this site with me with eyes and mind wide open. (I'll pass on the obvious pun.) She does not object to me playing in any permutation, and she has only played with me with other couples. In all cases, she definitely assigns me the role of "gatekeeper" on SLS. Up until now she has always pursued her autonomous romantic interests elsewhere. I am far from a perfectionist, just fairly persistent in seeking continuous improvement - especially when the process feels creative and stimulating.
Amherst Canada			Username hidden (1700 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Maritimers, I only skimmed over the other comments earlier because they made no sense to me without being able to see your profile; just one of the problems in having a discussion in the dark, so to speak. Now that I've looked at your profile (as revised), I concur that it is eloquently written. But I detect that you have a perfectionist streak, so here is a critique. Usually I prefer the first "we are looking for" section of a profile to give a clear summary of what the person is seeking, with a description of the seeker(s) deferred to, of all things, the "Description" section. But your situation is unusual, so I agree that it's helpful to start with some description of your relationships. That said, there are so many permutations of what you appear to be seeking, that even the eloquence of your writing doesn't make it entirely clear. I take it you are seeking to go solo to meet women and couples; that you and Ms. M seek couples (or maybe also single men and women); that Ms. NYC (I prefer NYC to UWS) primarily seeks men; and that both of the ladies are open to meeting other men, either one-on-one or possibly with you present. It also appears, but is unclear, that you are the "gatekeeper" for them to meet other men through this profile. It's almost too much to be covered in a single profile without being cumbersome. Have either of your ladies considered setting up their own profiles as single females, with cross-references to your profile? I know that other couples do this often. If one of them (particularly Ms. NYC) did this, it would enable you to offload a lot from your profile to hers, streamlining both. It also would allow her profile to have exposure in the NYC area. Just a thought. I would have some other suggestions, depending on your reaction to the comments above.
San Quentin CA			Username hidden (8604 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Maritimers, your profile does look great, as others have said. The only thing I can say to help is to tell you how to copy and paste in the forums: highlight the text you want to copy, hit CTRL C to copy, then CTRL V to paste. Voila!
Sheboygan Falls WI			Username hidden (6970 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Kat, USAir flies Philly to Halifax direct two or three times most days. You know what they say about dreams deferred... Thanks for the kind comments. Was really not thinking about attracting anyone, just wanted to go through the exercise. Next week I will post a lot of photos... ...of the area for all you travel dreamers. Will add a few personal shots too. RDY, I am humbled by the outpouring of wisdom and wit that I have been enjoying all week. Cinci, thanks for the compliment. Fun, I am still bracing... Ms. M is coming over soon, fire is roaring, drinks to pour, the wind drives freezing rain against the metal roof in pitter-patter gusts. Feel'n the love all, thanks!
Amherst Canada			Username hidden (1700 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	D- that was longest bout of vacuuming EVER. I'm thinking you got distracted by something more fun... Spill it, girl- was he cute?
Cincinnati OH			Username hidden (3303 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	The ladies are correct. You can make your profile invisible to any class of members --couples, males, or females-- but then email them. Once they reply to your email, your profile is visible to them even though it remains invisible generally. I learned this the hard way, when couples who blocked males would email me, asking if I was interested. I'd try to look at their profile but find it blocked to males, and reply to that effect. Then lo and behold, their profile suddenly became visible, and I looked like an idiot, or liar, or both. After that I reported this to the site people, who were unaware of this quirk, and they documented it in the help section.
San Quentin CA			Username hidden (8604 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"Does friending someone open up the profile to them?" I do not think so but then some of the subtleties of this site continue to elude me. An e-mail exchange would open up your profile to the gentleman in question. I have nothing brilliant or even mundane to add to your profile review but I do enjoy your writing style.
Cincinnati OH			Username hidden (3303 post)

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TOPIC: Seeking sincere, serious profile input

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