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TOPIC: Same room difficulties
Created by: WifeIsN2girls2
Original Starting post for this thread:
It's a little embarrasing, but here goes.

We recently progressed to full swap. Previously, we limited ourselves to girl play and soft swap only. Recently, we've been haning out with one couple that we like alot and we progressed from girl play, to soft swap, to moderate swap, and finally to full swap, all on different occasions. At each stop along the way, it was no problems, and everyone had a great time. However, at full swap I encountered an... uh... embarrassing issue, and I wanted to get other swinger's perspectives.

I have discovered that I seem to have what I can only describe as a 'shyness' about fucking another guys wife in front of him. I just can't keep it up.

At first I thought it might be an issue with watching him fuck my wife. So, I took a break from the action, and watched. Nope, I was actually turned on by watching her get off with him.

We tried 3 different times on the same bed, and all three times, I started strong, but faltered after a few minutes with the other husband and my wife in the same bed.

For the 4th try, I suggested we tried different rooms, to see if maybe I was just too drunk. That seemed to do the trick as about 25 minutes later everyone was satisfied. That's a pretty standard amount of time for me.

I have never had an issue with becoming enthusiastic, or maintaining enthusiasm. Occasionally, if I've had way too much to drink, I cannot reach the pennicle, but enthusiasm is never an issue.

I know everyone is different, but it seems like most full swap couples avoid separate room play, so I am concerned this would be an obstacle if we ever got to this point with another couple.

Is this 'shyness' a natural part of the progression? Is is something someone can grow out of? Anything anyone can think of that I should try?

Your feedback is welcome.

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Mrs. Destin and I both like some separation when we play, so that we can concentrate on our partners. All in one bed is fun as well, but some space is our preference. It's just what works for us.

I also try to watch my alcohol consumption when we are in a Lifestyle situation. I will usually alternate a drink and a big glass of club soda. There is something about a club or party atmosphere, I just feel like I need to have a drink in my hand. Making half or more of those drinks non-alcoholic satisfies the Pavlovian response and doesn't kill my hydraulics ;)

Destin FL
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When we first started playing as a couple (I was in the LS before we married, but she wasn't), I had the same problem, but for a different reason. I was so turned on by watching Mrs. T being fucked by another guy, I was mesmerized to the point of distraction. I wasn't able to concentrate on the wife I was with, and though I played along, it just wasn't the same.

After a while, we decided that separate room play was just fine, particularly on the first couple of play dates. Turns out we both love watching each other with another person(s), so now we suggest separate room play right off the bat and plan on group time later on. And when everyone decides to go "same room", it's a hell of a lot more comfortable for me. Going easy on the booze and popping a blue or yellow pill beforehand is a nice "insurance policy" as well to avoid the jitters with a new couple.

I wouldn't sweat it. Your experience, as well as mine, isn't uncommon. I've found that even after a few years in the lifestyle, playing as a couple was a whole other ball game, and I had to adjust to the new dynamic. If you're both having fun, and the attraction is truly four way, just go with the flow and you'll find that it gets more comfortable (and hotter) as time goes on. Good luck!

Tempe AZ
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Taking turns, like WannaTry suggested is a good compromise. Another is that if you go full swap with a couple, go to separate rooms.

But for you, so you can watch her, try a threesome. If that's on her list of things to do.

Pittsburgh PA
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@Flicker - Well, one of you is going to have to bend on this one. I don't know how you would accomplish both things at one time.

Either wifey is going to have to get used to seeing you with others OR you are going to have to give up watching her with someone else.

Pick one.

Maybe for one couple, agree to play it HER way. For the next couple you go out with, do it YOUR way.

Lahaina HI
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My wife and I are new to playing with others. We had a 3sum with another guy last year, and we recently full swapped with another couple (all of us staying together during the playtime). We are planning a rendezvous with this same couple soon, but my wife and I are having a challenge that I would love to hear some feedback from more experienced people.

This next time, my wife wants to be alone with the other guy and is okay with me being alone with the girl. I am not overly crazy about the idea but I am willing to allow her that freedom. She also realized the last time we were all together that she absolutely did not like seeing me with the other girl. She is okay with us doing whatever, she just does not want to see us. I love watching her with another guy, but don't want to just sit by and watch since the other girl and I can't play in front of my wife.

So my question to all of you; how do we make this work so that everyone is happy? The other couple has said that they want both being separated but also want us all to play together. Your thoughts are appreciated!

Huntsville AL
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Had the same issue this weekend beat myself up over it for a while then read this post and now have a lot of ideas on things to try . I dident stop pleasuring her just because I couldent preform. Pretty shure I was distracted by my lady soo hot hearing her moan in pleasure.

Sandwich IL
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We have found that majority of the couples we play with, the other guy either can't get it up or goes soft within 15 mins. I try to "help out", but usually by that time, the guy is so upset about it all, he's all done for the night.

I'm glad to read that your "issue" worked it self out. :)

Lahaina HI
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I figured this would resolve itself.

Winter Garden FL
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After about 3 months, and a few more encounters, I'm happy to say this is an issue that went away on it's own. I haven't had any trouble since that first time. I guess it was just a bit of sensory overload, and perhaps even a little 'stage fright'. I'd like to think it's completely natural, and that it's not really very difficult to overcome with a few encounters.

I will say that I still enjoy the occasional separate room play, because I feel like it's a little more intimate.

Chesterfield VA
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Glad to see that I'm (hubby) not the only one with "distraction" problems.

On a recent "first date", Mrs. T wisely suggested (after the other couple stated that they thought separate rooms were a good idea for the first playtime) that we go along, and we did. We both had a hot time, and I'm glad we did. I'll probably always be mesmerized watching her, but not to the point of not pleasing the lady I'm with.

Thanks for bringing this up.

Tempe AZ
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TOPIC: Same room difficulties