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TOPIC: Rude members
Created by: twostr842
Original Starting post for this thread:
Why is it that people seem to not want to answer messages when you write to them. This is very rude. We are all adults and all it takes is a second to say "Sorry not interested". By not answering or deleting their email you are saying sorry I am so above you and you just are not worth the bother. We have met many nice people who have taken the time to get to know us. For the ones who just didn't want to bother, oh well.

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Good playmates are too hard to come by to be rude to people. There is just no reason for someone to be like that especially in the world of swinging. We have only gotten one rude e-mail, and we just deleted and blocked that person immediately. No sense in wasting our time on things like that.

Now last week I got an e-mail from a couple and they are very new to the website. Apparently they are not aware there is a spell check available before they send their e-mail. They also did not know how to write clearly so we knew what they meant. When I checked their profile it too was written very poorly, with all subjects saying the same exact paragraph after the other and the spelling was terrible too. I wrote back to them explaining that I did not understand their e-mail, but if they were interested in us that they did not fit our criteria. I also explained about the spell check and suggested that they look at several other profiles and learn from their example. I could have been rude and said no thanks but I chose to be nice and try to help them. I also wished them luck in their search.

Muncy PA
 
 
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Logically, it seems to me that members who exhibit rude, offensive behavior have not and will not make many swing friends. So, they are either newbies who haven't yet figured out how to act or slightly disturbed loners who consider the internet an entertaining toy to harrass others. Every profile has a "Describe your Experience" section; if you are being contacted by a person(s) with minimal swing experience, I believe that there is a higher probability that they will be crude and boorish.

Memphis TN
 
 
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here is one today/ if we are not to fucking old lets go for a drink. how do you respond to an email like this! LOL. where do they come from?email response was :age is not a concern but the email was itself. thanks but not interested The ones we love the most on the heading it says hi in the email section there is nothing, auto delete

Sarasota FL
 
 
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I just had to reply to this topic. We got an e-mail from a profile that says they are a couple but only has one pic on the profile of him (not a sick or perverted pic but just his face). I read the profile and saw what they were looking for and knew that my wife would have the same reaction I did, not interested in what they are offering (very sparse profile with no true details except they didn't want to get to know the people, just get naked). I replied with the canned response of "No, Thanks". Almost as fast as I can hit the send button I get a reply back with just this statement :"You are sick". I almost confronted the person due to the confusion I had about what was sick, but then decided to just simply block their profile. I then went back and unblocked it just incase the simplistic mind of the person that sent the e-mail might send me another one that would explain the situation. I regretted deleting the e-mail as soon as I did it since my wife won't get the opportunity to view it by the time she gets back. I will honestly say, it is not the first time I have gotten rude responses from people and probably won't be the last, but it is the first time I have gotten one from a response I didn't even send yet. :)) Zo

Fort Worth TX
 
 
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do agree that emails are nice.But geees, today 6 meails from people if they read our profile would have found out there is no interest or we are not compatable.You do get kind of tired of people not reading and sending blind emails. We do respond to all emails, but I can understand why some do not.I really dislike sending an email back to people sorry we just do not see anything there that will work. I am always afraid to offend the other couple.I am at that point where i am starting to turn the other way ,we have recently had so many emails back saying if you have not met us how do you know we are ot your type. Ok if the passion strikes you and you can not resist temtation long enough to make it to a hotel motel,we will pull over allow me to lift your skirt to your waist , launch you to the hood of the car under a full moon with only the moon light dancing over our faces sweat beating down our brow as our hearts are pacing , kissing, tongues dancing to the moonlight without regret and no submission by any of the four of us.hands tembling to each others bodies...... this usually works to say they are not for us.Those that say hell yeah we are looking for you;

Sarasota FL
 
 
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We had an additional thought about responses or nonresponses to emails.

I wonder if ANYBODY on SLS mails a courteous response to the sender of every piece of junk snail mail that ends up in your mailbox. I bet not. I bet everybody on here does just like we do and throws away the vast majority of junk mail without reading any more than the return address.

I really don't see why an unsolicited email from someone who doesn't fit whay your profile says you're looking for is any different from an unsolicited junk snail mail solicitation for a new credit card (or lawn service, or maid service, etc., etc.) you aren't interested in having. If it's not something you have been thinking about and looking for, you undoubtedly don't respond.

Emails from other swingers who don't match what your profile says you are seeking are no different. They're junk email, and they go into the trash can just like junk snail mail.

And don't tell us that merely because we are SLS members and have a posted profile means that any emails we receive are "solicited." We state clearly in our profile what we are "soliciting." A response from anyone who doesn't match that is "unsolicited."

I'm not talking about emails from couples who match what we say we are seeking. I'm talking about emails from people who clearly do NOT match what we clearly stated in our profile that we want, or who DO match what we clearly stated we don't want (singles, men under 40, smokers, people just travelling through or visiting our area).

We don't OWE these people a response any more than we owe a response to someone who sends junk snail mail. And people who feel that we clearly don't match what they said they want don't owe US a response, either.

I swear some people must subscribe to the same mass mail theory of junk snail mail senders. If you send out 1,000 pieces of junk mail and get a 2% response rate, you have just generated 20 potential customers. So I think some people must do mass emailings hoping to generate a handful of positive responses. We don't owe mass mailers a response, whether they send email or snail mail. In either case, they're sending a sales pitch, and trying to convince us that we should "buy" something other than what we want.

We suspect that an awful lot of people read a profile (well, maybe they don't even read it but just look at the pictures) and decide THAT is someone they would like to have sex with and send off an email. Before sending an email, give some serious thought as to whether YOU match what THEY are looking for. If you don't, and you don't match up with what they want to "buy," then save yourselves and them the time and don't email your "sales pitch."

At the very least, don't get bent out of shape if you don't get a response. Just move on. There are lots of other more important things to get exercised about than nonresponses to emails.

Jim

South Riding VA
 
 
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We don't lose any sleep over it or get our blood pressure raised just because somebody doesn't respond to an email from us, whether or not they contacted us first.

I suppose we're fortunate living in the Washington DC metro area, because there are literally THOUSANDS of swinging couples who live only an hour or two away, and the number of ATTRACTIVE couples who are in the age range of interest to us numbers in the dozens. There is no way we could ever meet them all anyway.

So if someone fails to respond to an email from us, we just delete them from our "friends" list and move on. No fuss, no muss.

South Riding VA
 
 
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good point...

i assumed incorrectly about the whole being certified thing... that's why forums are a great place to ask questions...i've learned alot out here just by reading...

thanks again for writing and for the advice and kindness

Grantville PA
 
 
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*smiles* i can totally relate to where you are coming from... thank you for writing,it does help knowing that we aren't the only ones going through this...as we are relative newcomers to the lifestyle we were taking the rejections very personally as "we aren't good enough" because in our minds,it would be rather easy to find people...everyone comes to this site for basicly the same reason..to meet other couples and singles who want to have casual fun....we were very wrong at how easy it would be... and what scares us even more...if we are having this hard a time on the internet what would it be like going to swinger clubs *something we're dying to try* will we be laughed at? rejected constantly? will the last shreds of our pride be destroyed? will our car tires be slashed *lol* *trying to be funny while stressing a valid fear* i don't know....hopefully we'll figure out the secret because reading how many people were "declared authentic" really frustrates us...because we feel we are as attractive as most we've seen that were "authentic" *certainly there are many out there much more attractive then us but we feel we're at least average" anyway,thanks for writing and best of luck with your trip...you have been very kind to us over the past several days of posting and we truly appreciate it

bill of the Tina and bill couple *eternal bliss* *not smiling as big but still smiling*

Grantville PA
 
 
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rude members.... ahhh,here is a topic i can truly post on. we've been members here for about 2 years and have read all of the posts from Pa,Nj and Md....we have written to many that we found to appeal to us by their profile or their pictures...we are a very attractive couple *at least in our opinion* due to our jobs it is hard to go to the gym 5 days a week so we are not "height and weight proportionate" but we are also not huge and i believe it is obvious by the pics that we care a GREAT deal about our appearance..most will notice that in our profile that we ask if someone is not interested to please not reply and there is a reason for that....before we put that in we would get ALOT of replies to our emails...all saying "you are not our type" , "sorry,we are too busy" etc... some just plain implying that we are too heavy..it got to the point that my wife *who is a BEAUTIFUL woman and gets hit on ALL the time when we go to clubs to see bands* would cry herself to sleep because of her weight and i confess i too was very very hurt by these responces as i take the majority of the blame for no replies *even though,i also get hit on all the time through my job* we came inches away from leaving this site and this lifestyle because of people who were rude to us..so instead we ask that if someone isn't interested please just don't reply...we can see when they read our mail and if they don't reply we know they aren't interested...i'd like to believe everything i've read here but from experience MOST do not feel the way people here are writing...i believe everyone on these posts is being honest about how they respond but the majority of people are not that way here...when we write to someone it is ALWAYS a very polite "hi,we really enjoyed your profile,if you like our profile please write back so we can talk and get to know each other" and we never include any vulgar pics..always a nice face picture and nothing else...so it isn't that we are being rude or vague in our emails...but still we get next to NO replies...we have sent out 30 emails in 2 years and have found 1 couple that we like alot that have talked with us...30 in 2 years!! frustrated is a word that comes to mind.....i don't think we are ugly,or uneducated,or asking for anything outragous or kinky..and we aren't shooting for perfect 10's that spend 40 hours a week in the gym...we just want to meet nice people who are into what we're into...is that too much to ask? as for the topic rude members....what comes around goes around.. we are very nice to EVERYONE we've ever talked to here,that is just who we are...we are very polite and never would hurt someone's feelings... the next time someone puts "no heavies" "no fatties" etc.. in their profile i want them to think about what that might do to someone's self esteem... *feels good to get this off my chest* *smiling as always* bill of the Tina and bill couple *eternalbliss*

Grantville PA
 
 
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TOPIC: Rude members