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Red Flag : Swingers Discussion 207580
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TOPIC: Red Flag
Created by: Starrynights22
Original Starting post for this thread:
Just received a return email from a couple (we sent the initial email). The wife was the one responding. She stated that she and her husband would love to meet with us and then goes on to compare herself in an unfavorable way to me, putting herself down. Now, she has to know we're attracted to her as we contacted them and stated as much in the email. Her lack of confidence concerns me (they are not new to swinging). Rick responded and, of course, reassured her. Would you pass on this couple, chalk it up to just an email faux pas and see what the next communication is like or what? Kat
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JnD, you're right about miscommunications. They both (not really sure) wrote a second time, asking to meet this weekend, which we can't. If this note had the same self-deprecating tone, that would be it. As an added safeguard, we don't play on first meet. I'm still inclined to not meet (going with my gut) because our social time is very limited. Liketo, yup!

As far as communications, majority are from the male of couples, but we do receive quite a few females, too. If we are serious about play, we look for equal communication; everyone needs to be actively engaged. Initial emails from us are always hubby. Just part of our BDSM dynamic.

Kat

Morgantown PA
 
 
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I (the Mrs) usually do most of the physical writing of the correspondence as hubby's spelling and sentence construction is not-so-good. :) But he is usually right next to me and we essentially write the emails together. It's more fun that way!

Lahaina HI
 
 
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tenaciousb, we're not tremendously active through this website, but in our limited experience usually it is Mrs. Scandle (me) who contacts people initially after Mr. S and I discuss their profile. Responses I think have usually been from women. As far as the people who initiate contact with us, about 95% are men.

Sheboygan Falls WI
 
 
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Learned quickly to trust our instincts! Bet yours are pretty good as well. Am wondering about the comments on who "replies." We've found that the more involved the woman is in communication here, the better the overall relationship and experience. We're curious as to the experience of others on this point? Bill

Mechanicsburg PA
 
 
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If we were in your shoes, we'd probably schedule a meet at a neutral location and just see what our intuition told us. Email can be a chancy medium for miscommunication, but face to face tells all. :-)

JnD

Fairview Heights IL
 
 
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Exactly, too many other couples out there to take chances on a couple that introduces drama before ya even meet!

Pottstown PA
 
 
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True that!

: )

Kat

Morgantown PA
 
 
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Must be because we live in the great swinger state of Pennsylvania. :-)

Delta PA
 
 
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Thanks for your input everyone. Los, you brought up some things I never even considered. With so many others to connect with, we're politely going to avoid this possibility for drama. I need to be more in tune to my gut, which immediately after reading her email was like, WTF.

Kat

Morgantown PA
 
 
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We get over 90% of our inquiries from males, also. It may depend on whether your female half is "bi" listed.

Flat Rock NC
 
 
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TOPIC: Red Flag