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Question : Swingers Discussion 231515
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TOPIC: Question
Created by: mishaandi
Original Starting post for this thread:
When my wife and I attend M&Gs or clubs. We like to have a good time. We socialize, meet people and flirt a lot. She loves dancing with the girls and once in a while a guy. Why do some married men feel that that if my wife is flirting with them it's an invitation to get grabby? I told her you r going to have to start being a bitch and tell them hands off. I also don't think it's cool for a man to be disrespectful and get grabby. I have started a couple of confrontations by speaking my mind when someone gets grabby, the dude gets butt hurt and starts acting like a tough guy. I don't think the venue is the right place to be confrontational , like I said she is going to have to start speaking her mind. If we know u or have been with u it's different we don't have issues with it. Opinions?

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Interesting thread,

I have not yet been to swing clubs or "official" lifestyle parties. It seems to me, if a woman flirts with me, in more than a passing fashion, and especially at a venue focused on sex, at some point it would make sense to turn the flirt into something more.

Perhaps it's a question of how one defines "grabby". Depending on the circumstances I certainly wouldn't be above a light stroke to the side or ass, followed by an assessment of the reaction. If she spins on her heals as if to say "Why I never!" after the slightest physical contact I would probably wonder what she was doing flirting at a sex party for in the first place.

On the other hand grabbing a handful of a woman's ass is a pretty clunky follow on to a flirt in just about any circumstance.

Wenatchee WA
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I'm an 'in your face' kind of guy when I feel somebody is being disrespected, especially my wife. In all the years we've been swinging, and all the clubs and parties we've been to, I can only recall one time I had to say something to somebody. It was a woman who simply would not leave the Mrs alone, despite being told there was no interest.

It sounds to me like something is not quite right in the OP's situation. Maybe they need to reevaluate if swinging is for them.

Pittsburgh PA
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I don't flirt with people, who I don't want touching me. Perhaps your wife should only flirt with people she wants touching her. You can still be friendly, just watch the flirting.

Carrie

Corpus Christi TX
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Personally I think women attending clubs should follow the same rule. I've had my ass grabbed, breasts gropped and skirt lifted by far more women than men. Our worst experiences with this have involved single women who are under the impression their so desirable they have no rules, are offended by polite no thank you and make a scene when you firmly reject their so called "attention" .

All that being said it is the womens responsiblity to draw the lines on what she allows or doesn't allow. If either of you is expecting 100% hands off at a swing club you'll be sorely disappointed.....sadly it is the nature of the beast. She needs to monitor her own behavior, you don't lead a horse to water and then smack him if he takes a drink. If either of you can't easily dismiss someone over stepping the boundries you have in place I suggest you refrain from swing clubs. I do not like being gropped but I also do not get angry or offended. I have a very simple line that stops most of them in their tracks and sends a very clear message. "Are you about done there? I'm kinda bored!" This generally causes laughter, lightens the mood or they stop off with their dick in their hands.....either way game over lol. I don't need or want Mr Sav constantly trying to come to my rescue but perhaps it makes your wife feel loved and protected when you do that . You might want to consider whether she purposely causes such confrontations just your attention. Jealousy is a game far too often played in the lifestyle and elsewhere. Some people don't feel loved and desired unless they have inspired jealousy in their mates.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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Think of it this way:

If your wife likes to wink at people, and everyone she winks at then punches you in the nose... are you going to fight everyone, or will you begin to think that maybe the way she winks is somehow causing everyone to punch you in the nose?

Chesapeake VA
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I agree with Vixen, your wife should not be flirty at a swingers club then.

Joliet IL
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This is pretty simple. No means No...however if your wife is being "flirty" as you put it, then perhaps she should stop. Clearly what you two think is "flirty" may not be the same definition to others. Me (hubby) personally, I would not want a woman to be "flirty" with me with no desire of more...but then again I would never take liberties (grabbing) on someone's spouse without there permission. Bottom line, you can't have it both ways without there being conflict so take the "flirt" out of it. Just a thought

Athens AL
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This is a tough one. Most men at swinger clubs feel that if the woman is interested it ok to grab her inappropriately, hence the reason you are there. They shouldask first though. If it is a regular club then that should be a given to not touch! My guy is very touchy, feely at parties and very affectionate. But the second someone tells him no he just politely backs away. And because we are full swap we just find another couple to play with. If the guy gets offensive then your wife should step up and tell them, "Hey, this is our rules and my hubby has full veto power. I'm sorry you are offended but let try thing a little more slow." It is really a woman's place to say stop and she should at least tell the guy no. If he doesn't stop then it is time to get alittle more prudent in telling them "hey, my wife said no!" If they don't get the hint then get the club or party manager involved.

Joliet IL
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When my wife and I attend M&Gs or clubs. We like to have a good time. We socialize, meet people and flirt a lot. She loves dancing with the girls and once in a while a guy. Why do some married men feel that that if my wife is flirting with them it's an invitation to get grabby? I told her you r going to have to start being a bitch and tell them hands off. I also don't think it's cool for a man to be disrespectful and get grabby. I have started a couple of confrontations by speaking my mind when someone gets grabby, the dude gets butt hurt and starts acting like a tough guy. I don't think the venue is the right place to be confrontational , like I said she is going to have to start speaking her mind. If we know u or have been with u it's different we don't have issues with it. Opinions?

Suffolk VA
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TOPIC: Question