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Q: When can you join in : Swingers Discussion 33878
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TOPIC: Q: When can you join in
Created by: GentlyFeral The original post for this thread was deleted.
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Glad you liked that one, avcouple! Whenever I have felt a bit awkward or timid, I go for humor to get me through the awkward moment. It does seem to break through the awkwardness. It makes people feel more relaxed and at ease with us, and like you said, at a minimum they are going to laugh, and usually they will then feel comfortable enough to join in.

A sense of humor is a saving grace in all kinds of situations!

Jim

South Riding VA
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Valovers, I love that one. very cool and no matter what it is an ice breaker. They can't help but laugh and not join in.

Thanks, Patricia

Parker AZ
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Hmmm.... how about just getting up and start kissing the other partner (you pick where!) and pull them to the group. If they are staring they have an interest!

Brownwood TX
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avcouple, how about this approach? You could just say to the man, woman, or couple "Can I borrow your (cock, pussy, or genitals) for a moment? We seem to have only one set here! LOL

South Riding VA
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Hi Valovers, thank you for the reply and suggestion. I discussed this with husband and he told me that the winky sounded a little strange if the guy saw it lol, but he did like the come here finger gesture.

We also discussed his expressing himself by telling me out loud or in a whisper that they can hear that there was a nice cock behind or in front of me and that he would love to see it in my mouth or pussy. I guess that way they would know that we are open to having them join us.

What ever the case we need to get over our rejection problem and just go for it. If we don't it is our loss.

Thanks again, Patricia

Parker AZ
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avcouplesxtc, I have a suggestion for the next time you and your hubby are playing and another couple or guy appears nearby and you would like to invite them to join in. If you fear rejection, maybe instead of asking you could try a "nonvocal" invitation. Try looking the guy right in the eyes, and wink at him, and jerk your head as if saying "c'mon over." Or if you're a little bolder, give him (them) that "c'mere" gesture with one hand.

If they're not interested, they can just walk away, and no verbal decline is needed. If they ARE interested, they should certainly get the message, even if the guy has to whisper in his wife's ear some more and play with her pussy while getting her agreement too!

South Riding VA
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We would love to hear from members what their way of letting men, women or couples know at a party or adult lifestyles club that it is ok to join in.

I have no problem joining in if asked. But I am not an instigator. I am afraid of rejection.

We can see at a party that it shouldn't be to hard to let a couple or male or female know that it's ok to join in when you meet them, talk to them and find an attraction. We always let them know what the boundaries or likes and dislikes are in a fun way. Most importantly does the other person in the relationship have a problem with the man touching me (Patricia) or my husband touching their female partner. Even is it ok for us girls to touch each other if they are bi. Once that it is established that it's ok to touch or play with the other person, what are the limits and rules.

But when your at a large party or club and there are people that you haven't had a chance to meet yet that just happen to walk up to watch your playing, how do you let them know that you want them to join you?

Recently we were at a well known club in Calif called Freedom Acres where there are close to 100 people there. While my husband and I were playing with one another (were both naked, I was sucking his cock or riding his cock on top of him) we saw a couple that we thought was our type walk over to the room we were playing in. They were obviously interested in watching us based on the man was playing with the woman's pussy and whispering something in her ear with both of them having a lustful look on their faces. There was definitely an attraction or lust going on between us (those that have been there know that look right).

Now I am not the kind of person who approaches other people (I know that's hard to believe judging by my pix on my profile) because I am afraid of being rejected. My husband tells me that I have nothing to worry about, but that's how I feel, especially if the other woman is gorgeous or the man is attractive.

I usually have to depend on my husband asking them if they would like to join in. The really hard thing is when I see a guy who's cock I want to suck or have his cock in my pussy. I am afraid to ask his partner if it would be ok to touch him. You never know. They might just be voyeurs.

This happened to us last Saturday night at a club Velvet Swing called the which was out of a house. There were only 7 other couples there, but while we were in a room alone, a new couple showed up and once again there was that attraction. I wasn't sure how to ask. The same thing happened later with my husband and another man and me alone in a dark spa. I saw that he had a beautiful cock and I wanted to taste it. I didn't know if he would let me or if the woman he was with, but not there would mind. I hate to be the instigator in the action because of the rejection thing.

Does anyone have any input, ideas or suggestions besides my just asking. Does anyone have a special way of doing it. I would love to hear it, especially from the ladies. I get the feeling that guys just go for it.

Patricia

Parker AZ
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This is a tough question because not all situations are the same. The only advice we can give is show respect, always ask first and make sure you listen carefully to the answer, and watch the body language and facial expressions. Sometimes it just better to be a voyeur!

Muncy PA
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AB Single Man correctly identified the proper inquiry at a group swing-When approaching others who are already playing, always ask "May I join you?". You should also be sensitive to non-verbal communication of the word "No". I interpret a raised hand or a failure to respond as a "No", and I will move on to join other people who want more company.

Memphis TN
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When ever we have gone to a party or club we have already discussed with our partner the rules of play way before we begin the fun. In honesty this was discussed when we first decided that we were going to be in the lifestyle.

But it is always good practice to discuss and confirm if it is going to be a full swing or soft swing night. Maybe tonight is going to be a night where we play with just each other in the company of other adults.

When it cums to partying with a new couple you should discuss what their interest are over drinks. This can be made into a fun conversation like my husband telling the other man that I love to be fucked hard and I enjoy being taken doggy style or my being on top. I have included into the conversation that I love to suck another mans cock while my husband fucks me or that I love to eat pussy while her man fucks me. This kind of conversation is a great way into letting the other man know that you allow penitration or oral is permitted. For me I am not an anal fan so I let them know that I love everything but anal. You should talk about condoms as well.

By doing it this way in a fun conversation you pretty much cover your boundries and then you can ask "what do you like."

Now if you show up late to a party and the fun is already in full swing, we find that getting undressed and or my having on something inviting lets others know that we are there to play. eye contact and smiles is huge. It lets men or women know that I find them appealing and I may even touch myself to let them know that I am excited and need some assistance. Men can do all of this as well, but shouldn't just jerk off over people that is just wrong.

For guys, my husband does not hover over the action, but he might sit close to the woman who is being pleased by another man and he might rub her leg or arm to show he is there (believe it or not we sorta get lost in the moment when guys or other women are pleasing us lol). if he is greeted with a invitation then he joins in. it might be the man letting him know its ok to join in, but he waits for the woman to let him know he is wanted. only she is able to do that.

once he is invited then it is then that it can get interesting. in most cases the woman is so lost in the moment that asking her if it is ok to fuck her is ackward so I have seen him move into position slowly and if she doesnt say no then he proceeds. if not then he totally understands and this usually ends with the woman pulling his cock or body to her mouth. On occasions the woman has told him what she wants, but in most cases it is an unspoken gesture.

Guys, if it is 2 women together my suggestion is let them be together. my husband knows that this is their moment. Look but don't interrupt.

I hope that this helps, I could go on for ever but this is a huge subject and can be discussed in many ways.

Patricia

Parker AZ
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TOPIC: Q: When can you join in