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TOPIC: Playing seperatly
Created by: pepsi2426
Original Starting post for this thread:
We have been swinging for a few years now and have considered playing alone as well any thoughts or suggestions on this?

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pa. not at all. it says nothing about trust . second thoughts could be: we want to play together see each other. it could mean we are having so much fun being together why change this now. or it could mean I am not wanting to move ahead this fast with what we are doing.or I am not ready to try this yet. Not one of these has anything to do with more trust.If you need more trust , swinging may not be what you should be doing. My wife has said I can go out and play. It has nothing to do with trust I choose not to go without her. I want her there, I want to be able to look at her and smile, see her enjoying herself.We are a couple and choose to stay a couple in everything we do inside and outside of swinging.Its not a matter of trust but a matter of choice.I trust Suzy completely she trusts me completely.I trust her with my life and would gladly give up mine to save her. Just because you can do something does not mean you have to do it.

Sarasota FL
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I am really confused.We kind of thought swinging was all about trust. How can anyone have extra trust?Either you trust your mate or you don't.Its that black and white no gray area for trust. We would buy right off the bat that it is a preference that people play together or play seperate.If a relationship is rocky there is no trust , there can't be a little trust or half trust it has to be there all the way.If not then someone is trying to fool someone If you can't trust yourself if your alone what makes anyone think the trust is there as a couple?Specially if your looking for an emotional touch with another. We say ifm you feel comfortable in playing seperate then give it a try. If you have second thoughts then wait for more time to pass

Sarasota FL
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We have been swingers for about 10 years. And my wife has play without a few times. The frist time she was at a wedding out of town. And she played with a friend we both know. I realy got of when she got home and told we what went on. She all ways ask if its o.k. before she dose any thing.

Santa Rosa CA
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it does not matter to us whatever anyone does.We have and will always say this . there is no wrong way or right way to swing only the way that your most comfortable in what your doing. we know people who swing seperately. They have strong marriages, theyt love to come together and telll each other what happend and get hot just form hearing one tell a story. All you have to do is go read some of the erotic stories and you will know how hot some of those are. what ever floats your boat go for it./

Sarasota FL
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When we see a couple profile and then we get an offer to meet with one part of the couple, we just say "No thanks" One reason is that we really think most people who are doing that are really just posing as couples to get more attention and then try to meet as a single. So we don't meet with those people.

So just be aware that you will probably get the same reaction from a lot of people. If that is what you really want, would be very upfront about it. Possibly meet as a couple first so that everyone feels more comfortablt.

Albany GA
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It's your decision, and what anybody else thinks shouldn't influence you. Some people will flame you for playing separately, mostly because that's not what THEY would ever do. What do you care?

Others will warn you that playing separately can put extra strain on some marriages. After all, playing separately blurs the line between swinging and Open Marriage, and carries with it increased risk that one of you might actually fall in love with someone else.

Some couples, though, find playing separately adds even more extra excitement to their marriages, and find that the telling about it afterwards is a real turn-on.

Only you know the strength of your own marriage, and how happy and in love you are with each other and how committed you are to each other.

This is a decision only the two of you can make. If you do swing separately, you probably will need a higher plane of communication about feelings than even swingers who play together.

Or did you mean by "separately" just playing in separate rooms, or free lancing at a swing party instead of playing as a couple with a couple?

Regardless of what you meant by "separately," I think it's safe to say that the more separateness you introduce into swinging, the more important trust, commitment, honesty, and full disclosure communication become in your relationship.

Jim

South Riding VA
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We have been swinging for a few years now and have considered playing alone as well any thoughts or suggestions on this?

Albion NY
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TOPIC: Playing seperatly