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TOPIC: Playing Alone Questions
Created by: kinddraggon The original post for this thread was deleted.
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As others stated it is a matter of comfort levels. I am excited and encouraging of her playing but she can be uncomfortable seeing me with another. Since her enjoying and being enjoyed is a turn on for me I am good with that. She is free to "solo" whenever-wherever - whoever she wants as long as it is part of our "play". That means if she is out with gfs and finds someone interesting or she meets an SLS guy without me at a bar she texts me teasing lines about her being excited, turned on, touched etc. Then she continues to give me updates as they progress to the bedroom. Sometimes she puts it on speakerphone and sometimes they text me pics of her enjoyment. That keeps me excited and involved in a manner of speaking. As her playing excites me I am OK dropping her off at an FB for an hour or the night and waiting for her call to come get her. Or they run up to the bedroom and leave me in the living room or sleeping in back bedroom. I find that exciting and she (and he) obviously gets the benefits as well. She enjoys mfm with me involved but a lot of guys want to solo with her and get comfortable with her in bed so that is OK. All depends on what everyone wants to enjoy.

Fayetteville NY
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Regardless of whether you go with a SM or Cpl profile, I'd strongly suggest that you state upfront that he's married and that you're willing to (in fact, insist on) talk with anyone interested in getting together with him. Be upfront about your "Our main one quite frankly is ....I need to like her. Not bffs or anything!" If they know that you're onboard and simply giving him a hall-pass, that he's Not sneaking around your back, it can make all the difference to many people. If you're 'interviewing' someone to establish whether you like her or not, obviously he's not a cheater.

"I'm not sure that's right or wrong but I suppose him having a single profile, I lose that control and that's where most of my conflict is coming from." I'm not even sure that SLS would allow a SM profile for a married man. Regardless, it's what works for You as a Couple and not what anyone else thinks. I'd keep the Couple profile and just be honest about your situation and your rules.


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Finding play couples is difficult so we decided that we would play separately but only with couples. No one on one. We see this not unlike couples who swing in separate rooms.

Cherrylog GA
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Depends on what you mean by "Playing alone" People who go to a club without their partners with the permission of their partner or hang out with a couple or couples, that is "playing alone" In my opinion, (others may disagree) when 2 singles get together at a hotel to have sex, that's fucking, not swinging. If that's what you're into and if you both agree that it is ok that's cool, but I just wish people would call it what it is.

Rosemont IL
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Hubby and I play separately, but only when he is out of town. I won't play without him, when he is in town. I don't like the thought of him, sitting at home, while I am out getting some strange. Besides it is much more fun with him there.

Carrie

Corpus Christi TX
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I (the guy) would probably be closer to accepting her playing alone but id want ever single detail. she knows that and it would ruin her time alone with the guy, she'd be keeping notes instead of having fun.

She on the other hand wouldnt want or need details at all.

Kind, like said already, do your homework on this and maybe crawl before walking into this. maybe get the fun started as a couple then go out for a smoke break, next time go for a longer one etc... just an idea

Allentown PA
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I agree that it needs to be thought out carefully, everyone has their own comfort levels with this sort of play and you need to stay within those.

As far as singles profiles, it seems Kind is more wanting him to play solo then play solo herself. We have discussed many times me having a singles profile, but I can't see Trooper ever having one. I haven't made one because I've already looked at the pool of guys and the couple that interest me I have contacted them through our couples profile. SF's get way to much mail for me to want to deal with.

Louisville KY
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Kind,

I would take this very slowly and make sure you will be ok and comfortable with the whole situation. Run thru all the "what if's" in your mind and be sure you can live with the outcome of each scenario comfortably. It sounds to me like you have some concerns about your own comfort level and until you resolve them within yourself playing alone or encouraging him to do so might be borrowing trouble. The only instance where I can see playing alone a viable option is if both people are 100% on board and excited. You specifically mention that you are thinking about a singles profile for him yet don't mention on for yourself. That only raises warning signals in my mind. You simply may not be ready to make the leap or change in the way you have approached swinging to this point. I am not trying to discourage you , merely remind you to think it through carefully and be sure this is what YOU want.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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I am ok with not knowing the person as is he. However, to date he hasn't played solo other then at the club while I'm there but I don't have a problem with it. He was at a bar one night and had texted me about a pretty girl there I was excited to think that he might have have a chance to play with her. He has never told me no about any of the guys we have met with, I'm sure if he had a bad feeling about them he would though, just because of my safety. We do love to discuss everything that took place on my solo meets with these guys, that is part of the excitement.

One couple from our club she lost her sex drive while going through menopause. They would come to the club, if he got a chance to play he did, usually she watched. They went home and snuggled and talked about it. She just for about a year or so had NO interest in sex. It worked for them. She is now back swinging with him as her hormones have finally been sorted out and she has the desire again.

PG

Louisville KY
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It really depends on the couple. I have been playing solo from time to time for 6+ years and there have never been any issues with jealousy. Trooper is secure in the knowledge that he is my soul mate and while I enjoy my time with as he calls them "my boys" no one will ever take his place.

He is less likely to play while I'm not there, although it is always an option, specially while he is traveling.

Our basic rules for this is no secrets, which is easy for us because we are both so open with each other. Heck he can't even keep a present a secret for a week lol.

PG

Louisville KY
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TOPIC: Playing Alone Questions