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Play once and talk a big game and then never contact again: : Swingers Discussion 207426
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsSwinger AdvicePlay once and talk a big game and then never contact again:
TOPIC: Play once and talk a big game and then never contact again:
Created by: fallscitybj
Original Starting post for this thread:
I am writing because before we joined sls we were meeting couples off cl. We met some couples that responded with I am interested here is our number and then never heard from them again.

However we play with two couples once at separate times. One couple was so full of talk about how they had all these friends in the life style and they would introduce us around. They went to all these swinger clubs and porn theaters. She had done gang bangs and given mutlipule men head at one time. They were really interested in playing and then after we played haven't heard from them and we are Facebook friends but never respond to Facebook messages nor emails.

We also had another couple that they came and played. He kept getting pushy about playing with her alone (after the first play date) leaving the house to go somewhere play date (which our rule on that one is if you leave the house they better have a playmate for the other one as well). So anyways this guy would email her 5 and 6 times a day about playing alone, but yet when asked if I could play with his woman alone, said no she only plays when I play and with who I say.

well we had a play date lined up and he wanted to take her and play alone. When she said that we had a play date with someone else set up and a busy weekend and she was not available he said well she is just too much drama and I don't wanna play with her anymore.

Not to mention both of them said their women were bi which is why she wanted to play with them and the women never touched her.

Has anyone had these experiences and if so did you ever play with them again after a time went by or did you just play with those interested on a long term basis?

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@falls - We had a somewhat similar experience just recently. Met a couple here on SLS. We emailed and texted very easily. It seemed like we were getting along *great*! We exchanged sexy pix and had some really fun, racy conversations. We were all getting very excited to finally meet and have some "real" fun.

Well, the time came and we finally met. The meet went ok, no "fireworks" went off for hubby or me. Both of us chalked this up to our newbie-ness and not having the experience of really having any "chemistry" with any couple we've met so far anyways. We had no idea what "chemistry" was supposed to feel like.

Since we had previously agreed to go back to their room and play, we did. The experience was ok for me, but hubby had a terrible time. Both of us were glad to leave. It was't that the couple did anything *wrong*, but hubby and I just didn't have the "guts" to say..."You know what? We just aren't feelin' it, guys. Sorry." We figured that since we all had such a great time emailing and texted, we'd all get along great in person. Wrong! In hindsight, there was no physical chemistry for us and we should have left after the 1st drink.

Lahaina HI
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"However we play with two couples once at separate times. One couple was so full of talk about how they had all these friends in the life style and they would introduce us around. They went to all these swinger clubs and porn theaters. She had done gang bangs and given mutlipule men head at one time. They were really interested in playing and then after we played haven't heard from them and we are Facebook friends but never respond to Facebook messages nor emails."

No offense intended but perhaps after playing they realize you just weren't a match. We never presume because we have played with you that you will play with us again, on the flip side just because we played with you once doesn't not in any way mean we shall do so again. For whatever reason they chose to not see you again. I constantly hear people say they're not looking for a one night stand but lets be realistic until you've played once you have absolutely no way to judge whether you want to play again. Maybe they're turned off by your play style, maybe it was fun but "been there, done that" makes it less exciting for them, maybe one or the other just isn't attracted, maybe one felt the other had too much fun. The list is endless why or why not. I surely wouldn't sweat it or automatically assume their "flakes" or fakes. The dynamics of any swinging episode can be complicated , sometimes it's YOU, sometimes it's them. Put yourself in their place, lets say you chatted endlessly, flirted, sex talk the whole nine yards. The day comes and you meet and it seems fine and proceed to playtime. Now lets say it wasn't everything you expected, maybe the guy was a bad kisser, maybe he missed all your buttons, maybe he didn't even bother to look for the buttons, maybe it was ok and you had fun but simply have no desire for a repeat. Is their something wrong with you ? Is there really something wrong with them or is it just a bad combination. Sometimes people just aren't a good physical match. Not wanting to play again doesn't make someone a flake, constantly cancelling dates makes them a flake. Refusing to meet doesn't make them a flake or a fake it simply means for whatever reason they have no real desire to meet. Enjoy those you meet and stop worrying about those who don't want seconds. People like what they like, it really is that simple.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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I am not comfortable enough to play in a club and I am not much of a crowd person. I really dont think a club setting is for me.

Falls City OR
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Nothing much you can do about the fakes/flakes in the LS except move on. It's all part of being online. I'd suggest that you attend some local group events, dances, parties, etc in your area. It's harder for a fake/flake to operate when they're not online.

Just my humble opinion, though, and subject to change without notice. :-)


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I am writing because before we joined sls we were meeting couples off cl. We met some couples that responded with I am interested here is our number and then never heard from them again.

However we play with two couples once at separate times. One couple was so full of talk about how they had all these friends in the life style and they would introduce us around. They went to all these swinger clubs and porn theaters. She had done gang bangs and given mutlipule men head at one time. They were really interested in playing and then after we played haven't heard from them and we are Facebook friends but never respond to Facebook messages nor emails.

We also had another couple that they came and played. He kept getting pushy about playing with her alone (after the first play date) leaving the house to go somewhere play date (which our rule on that one is if you leave the house they better have a playmate for the other one as well). So anyways this guy would email her 5 and 6 times a day about playing alone, but yet when asked if I could play with his woman alone, said no she only plays when I play and with who I say.

well we had a play date lined up and he wanted to take her and play alone. When she said that we had a play date with someone else set up and a busy weekend and she was not available he said well she is just too much drama and I don't wanna play with her anymore.

Not to mention both of them said their women were bi which is why she wanted to play with them and the women never touched her.

Has anyone had these experiences and if so did you ever play with them again after a time went by or did you just play with those interested on a long term basis?

Falls City OR
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(364 posts)
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TOPIC: Play once and talk a big game and then never contact again: