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Partners Proformance Issues : Swingers Discussion 1862001031
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TOPIC: Partners Proformance Issues
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Lost, I can't believe the wives got upset with you? That's ridiculous!

To the OP - If you've tried all those different scenarios, it does sound like a chronic problem on his part. You've been with them for 6 months, so I'm assuming you have a fairly close relationship. I think BDH's approach has a lot of merit (how can they get mad at you taking this posture) BUT after what Lost wrote....maybe it would be best for your husband to talk to the guy in private. Something like, "We really enjoy getting together with you guys, but I need to talk to you about Mrs. Allnew. She's wondering if you're not feeling a sexual connection with her as she's told me it's often times difficult for you to get and stay hard, which leaves her unfulfilled. We don't want to hurt your feelings, but I don't want to see my wife frustrated, either. "

It's not going to be easy, but you need to say something...this isn't fair to you. EVERYONE should enjoy themselves. : )

Best wishes, Kat

Morgantown PA
 
 
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Just to clarify, I'm not suggesting the man being unattracted to the OP is the reason, merely that she go that route in a conversation to avoid confrontation.

-M

Fort Worth TX
 
 
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I can't see someone getting upset at you if you bring it up in conversation as though you are concerned its your fault"

Believe this or not....the wives were the ones that, with me, got the angriest and most offended when I dared mention the issue. I thought the husbands would get pissed...but did not expect the wives to friggin go hormonal about it.

San Marcos TX
 
 
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Now the problem. My husband and his wife always have a great time but he always seems to have a problem keeping it functional and leaving me unfufilled. My hubby always takes care of me when we get home but the point is its just not working for me."

I have experienced this as well. There were some that told me that I should be happy since my husband took care of me in the end anyways. I said that was a crock of bullshit LOL. BUT I am probably wrong on this issue. My thing is this. If you know your husband is a 3 minute pop rocket or has clinical erectile dysfunction...it is not my job to get you laid. I know its a recession, but thats ridiculous, even for me lol. I do not really know a resolution to this issue. It is NOT the man's fault, nor should he feel bad about it. The only ones that annoyed me were the ones that DID know about it...and had the agenda of getting her hers. But again...I may have a jacked up perspective of it too LOL.

San Marcos TX
 
 
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So its a generic firmness issue.

I can only suggest you approach the other wife and ask her if its like that when he is with her and lead the conversation along the lines of "is it something about me that causes this issue" and see if she volunteers any information.

I can't see someone getting upset at you if you bring it up in conversation as though you are concerned its your fault: triggering their empathy instead of reflexive defensiveness about a touchy subject.

Aside from medication: excercise, hydration, quitting smoking, abstinence, or additional condom practice (if youre using them and hes not used to it), or b12 vitamins could all be helpful for him. (Where applicable).

-M

Fort Worth TX
 
 
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They are the same age as us and we have played same and separate rooms. Sometimes a lot of foreplay other times just spontaneous. He has always cum I think but not fully aroused. A few times in me but usually I assist and he handles it himself cumming on my breast and other other places. Which is ok with me but not all the time.

Portsmouth RI
 
 
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More details are needed.

Age of your playmate. Same or separate room. Too much/not enough foreplay. How long since he last came.

-M

Fort Worth TX
 
 
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We have been seeing this couple for about 6 months. They are a great couple socially, We always enjoy their company and always have alot of fun and laughs. Now the problem. My husband and his wife always have a great time but he always seems to have a problem keeping it functional and leaving me unfufilled. My hubby always takes care of me when we get home but the point is its just not working for me. I'm looking for a non confrontational way to address this, as short of not seeing them any more. Sure I'm not the only one to have had this problem and would love to hear how others have dealt with this.

Portsmouth RI
 
 
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TOPIC: Partners Proformance Issues