Not the fear of nastygrams: Swingers Discussion 179013

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TOPIC: Not the fear of nastygrams

Created by: jandact Original Starting post for this thread:
that apparently keeps people from sending an email declining couples who reach out to them but more likely that people are just plain rude, inconsiderate and cannot be bothered to answer if they have no interest. We have tried from the beginning to answer everyone who reaches out to us and if we decline we say something like 'thanks for reaching out, we do not feel a connection and we wish you well in finding other compatible couples.' In nearly a year on this site we have gotten exactly ZERO nastygrams in response. In fact we would say that something like 50-60% of people who we decline with that kind of an email send us a note thanking us for responding. Not sure this posting will suddenly make everyone always respond but we thought it was worth a shot.

Created by: jandact
Original Starting post for this thread:

that apparently keeps people from sending an email declining couples who reach out to them but more likely that people are just plain rude, inconsiderate and cannot be bothered to answer if they have no interest.

We have tried from the beginning to answer everyone who reaches out to us and if we decline we say something like 'thanks for reaching out, we do not feel a connection and we wish you well in finding other compatible couples.'  

In nearly a year on this site we have gotten exactly ZERO nastygrams in response.  In fact we would say that something like 50-60% of people who we decline with that kind of an email send us a note thanking us for responding. 

Not sure this posting will suddenly make everyone always respond but we thought it was worth a shot.

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User Details are only visible to members.	We learned a long long time ago that no response meant no interest. We get a lot of those, but very very few e-mails back saying no thank you. Now we would much rather get no response than what we get the most of the time. A yes answer from the male who is cruising the site looking a pic's with his pecker in his hand, and then have them disappear when the wife gets home. as far as those nastygrams. When we get them they are from people who are above our social class. you know the fine wine people who just can't understand why a couple of beer and jack people would not feel comfortable in their environment.
New Orleans LA			Username hidden (2188 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Some have great experiences some not when it comes to rejecting someone via email. I respect anyone decision on sending or not emails. I do not take it as an insult or stress over it . Everyone is different. I had 2 bad experience last week, 2 on a row! First one, When we nicely declined an invitation to meet a couple in their home. This couple only exchange 2 emails with us, one was a nice and simple "Hello" which we replied with a nice "Hello! Thank you for the email! Hope you are having a great week!" The other was an invitation to meet at their home for drinks, that same night, we declined very nice to this one. Well, 2 weeks later we go out to our favorite lifestyle club with hubby and another couple, it just happens that the couple we politely declined the invite was there, an the wife spotted me, came over to us and went ballistic on me (Wife) because we declined her invite a couple of weeks ago. Followed by constant IM's request every time I am logged into the site. (I now turn my IM off most of the time) You never know how someone will react, specially those that you have never met in your life and have no clue who and what they are in real life. So from now on I will be one of those that if I don't feel I should reply, I wont. Less stress on my daily life. Sadly last week, I got a nasty email from another couple who did not received our email reply, due to some random glitch we had encounter on the site. Some how some emails do not go out. But did they know that?..Nope, in their mind we are Oh So Rude! So you see? People might take it as an insult without having a clue what is going on in the other end.
Fleming Island FL			Username hidden (74 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	omg, welcome cuties from Oberlin....lived near there for 41 years! Great little cool artsy city. This is like reunion week for me. I keep finding people from places I've lived. Scary. Gina
San Antonio TX			Username hidden (6002 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	R10; kat is right you sound like you know who you are,,welcome
Kingston TN			Username hidden (1912 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	This really is funny, a swinger's forum on manners! LMAO!! Not sure why I'm even reading this let alone responding. Some people have class and some don't. It can be that simple? We love to send out notes just telling people how hot or sexy their pics are or how much fun they look like. If they're not we don't send em...duh. We get them all the time and isn't this about friendship too? Nobody running for office here. If we get a "hey back" that's cool, if not oh well. That's life, get used to it, and "ROCK ON BABY"...ITS PARTY TIME!
Oberlin OH			Username hidden (1 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	[row] I am going to put my two cents in then I am gone not to come back.don't party with THOSE people, find people YOU like and who LIKE YOU and don't worry about those other people.if you can't find people who want to party with you, maybe its not them,mellow out people don't want to be around whiners.thats all you been saying is how others are backstabbers, talk be hind your back,and are snobbs , who fucking cares,.fuck them, be yourself,lighten up enjoy the people you like and give them a chance to enjoy you,have fun with it. I am not trying to be mean or nasty,I am trying to tell you to change your focus.look for the good people who like you and who want to party with you.I know there is more than one club in DFT
Kingston TN			Username hidden (1912 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Akron, Btw, nice pics! Steve...and Kaitlan
Rowlett TX			Username hidden (96 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Ahhh, Akron, Please dont think for an moment that our attitude is bad or that we let this get to us...it is what it is and we just accept it. When you get more than 3 people together, add alcohol then take off your clothes, like Forrest Gump always says, "Ya never know what your gonna git!" Your analogy about the lifestyle being a microcosm of real life is dead on and I'll end by saying that you should look up a high school graduation speech given by newsman Tom Brokaw a few years back. He addresses the new grads with an idea of what to expect in the "Real World" and in my humble opinion, his words apply perfectly to the lifestyle as well! Let me know if you find it or not, I think I might actually have a copy of it lying around here somewhere. You will enjoy reading it! Steve
Rowlett TX			Username hidden (96 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Akron, The bitterness you percieve is from the fact that there is a plethora of couples in the lifestyle here in the DFW area who haven't a clue as to what the lifestyle is about...to have fun and leave the drama at the door, to enjoy sex with another without any consequences borne of insecurities. By using the phrase Beautiful People, I am specifically refering to those couples and individuals who are shallow, narcisitic and intolerant who think the lifestyle is their stage for showing you and me how better they are, either by their words or actions such as blacklisting. Again, way too many politics and too much pettiness. Before you judge me, come to Dallas and walk in my shoes. Steve
Rowlett TX			Username hidden (96 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Please let me refine my remarks to..."At least in the DFW area, we have found this to be the case." I do have to wonder if in areas not so congested with what I like to call the Coke and Boob Job crowd (also known as the beautiful people) if the true spirit of swinging is kept alive! Way too much politics and high school pettiness here. Steve
Rowlett TX			Username hidden (96 post)

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TOPIC: Not the fear of nastygrams

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