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No full swap=no interest? : Swingers Discussion 244818
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsSwinger AdviceNo full swap=no interest?
TOPIC: No full swap=no interest
Created by: Luv_my_curves
Original Starting post for this thread:
So, I was recently told that the reason we may be having issues with meeting people is because we don't want to full swap. Does this really detour some couples? Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't there just as much fun to be had with soft swap?

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Hang in there. We are pretty new, and soft swap (for us that means all kinds of oral and manual and everything except cross-couple intercourse) is probably a good way to start. That's how we've started, and had some INCREDIBLE sex play, but we've discovered that the soft swap has been so much "easier" than we expected, with absolutely no jealousy or insecurities (hey, you never know until you experience it!) that we've decided full swap is the "natural" next step, WITH the right couple.

We've had no problem meeting other couples while soft swap including at a recent huge convention in New Orleans. But for us, the soft swap has been so "easy" that full swap just seems the natural next step.

BTW - if you feel bad about soft swap, go find and listen to the Swingercast podcasts. One of most popular and sexiest swinger couples in the lifestyle world, and incredible in real life (we were in New Orleans with a group they organized) and they were soft swap for years, and if you listen to their HOT podcasts you'll find they had no issues. :)

Dakota Dunes SD
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I think most swingers, especially who have been in the LS for awhile, are past the whole soft swap thing. I don't know why you are having so much trouble finding soft swappers though because that seems to be almost everyone who contacts us on here??? I think sometimes you just have to look for what interests you and be strict about it. We are a full swap only couple and have a hard time finding couples to play with. My favorite is when the first thing someone asks you on here is "Can you open your pictures up to see if there is a mutual attraction?" Yeah, that'll turn me on-NOT! I guess everyone on here thinks they are that special one and only snowflake that everyone will want to play with. Geesh, I just had a single guy at a party a few weeks ago that didn't even want to touch me. And believe me it has turned me into the biggest bitch ever!!!! But I can't take it out on the next single or couple. One example-We met a couple at an adult venue. They told us they were soft swap only. I told them we were not interested in soft swap.Well, next thing you know they changed their minds and told us let's go all the way after giving them my reasoning for our decision on full swap. I told them that they needed to stop and think about what they were getting themselves into. So, that right there made me wonder what made them all of a sudden change their mind? And not to mention that I was now worried what we would be in store for if we full swapped with them? Like, does the guy have jealousy issues and maybe cause our fun night to turn shitty? Or do they have a STD that is uncurable? Who knows? My best advice as someone who has been in the LS for 8 years now is stick to your guns! Afterall, it is your bodies and no one has any right to tell you what to do with them. The same way you don't have the right to tell anyone else what thay can or can't do with their body. The only right all parties have is "Yes I want to" or "No I don't want to." So, if their boudaries are: I don't want soft swap for whatever reason then respect them. Personally, for my guy and myself we don't want a case of couples blueballs. We like watching us fuck other people. I know it sucks when you are interested but you must respect their boundaries just as they respect your boundaries. ' You will eventually find like minded people who shares your interests. I hope this helps and good luck.

Joliet IL
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3 days?!?? I get sick of being with people after 3 hours! LOL

Lahaina HI
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LOL .......It was a hell of a weekend . They are one of the few things we miss about Minnesota .

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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3 days! Awesome. Now I get to put a new entry on my bucket list. Thanks Mrs. Sav!

Washington DC
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On a side note.......the best couple we ever played with came for dinner and stayed for 3 days . Over the course of those 3 days we played ourselves silly sometimes with them, sometimes with each other or combinations of FMF . He hubby WAS a smooth operator and sort of an art director but in a fun way. Their play style was much like ours, at times wanting to play with our own partner for a few minutes. At some point on day 2 we're all busy when suddenly her hubby yells SWITCH . She sits up and whispers" For Gods sake stop yelling.....we're all RIGHT HERE" Literally couple to couple we were elbow to elbow. He says " Oh sorry honey I didn't see you!" Anyway the switch was made and over the course of the rest of our time with them as a joke someone would yell SWITCH half in jest....at one point Mr Sav said " Oh hell NO...you get her all the time !" LOL

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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Luv........Ya'll will do great with an attitude like that! Good Luck again,

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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HAHA, Mrs. Sav! SWITCH! I totally understand your point, and we would never ask anyone to change anything; we wouldn't and don't expect anyone to for us.

Rockford IL
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I agree: to each their own. We're staying resilient :) --@2Saint: I never even thought about that (the wording). Although Scrabble is a great game, I see your point, lol. I'll have to change that. Our fantasies, like most that I've noticed, are about 2 women; a threesome is what we want above all. We are welcoming and anticipate the idea of a couple and would make it work with 4. The fantasy part is just that: our fantasies; it doesn't mean that we're not open to another male, it's just that 2 women is the "panty dropper", if you will, for us.

Rockford IL
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" Does this really detour some couples? "

Absolutely...we have zero sexual interest in soft swap couples. We are here for sex not foreplay. I'm perfectly capable of getting Mr Sav ready for sex all by myself why then would I need you to do that?What does one couple suddenly ready yell "SWITCH" or maybe Mr Sav is suppose to tap me on the should and whisper "Ok babe I I'm ready for sex now so spread your legs" LOL...What if he husband wasn't as successful in arousing me ? Obviously this works for many people but for myself I find any such scenario comical.

No offense at all to you but if you think that other couples should be willing and happy to modify or downplay their sexual fun to suit you you're going to be disappointed. Many many couple are strictly soft swap....seek them out . If a Full swap couple is contacting you and agrees...game on . Just don't expect others to conform to your style. It is just as rude to ask me to accommodate you as it would be for me to expect you to full swap because that is OUR PREFERENCE.>

Good luck to you and don't ever allow anyone to pressure you into doing something you are not comfortable.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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TOPIC: No full swap=no interest