Newbies and fakers: Swingers Discussion 1916751011

155
Newbies and fakers: Swingers Discussion 1916751011

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TOPIC: Newbies and fakers

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User Details are only visible to members.	we don't go out that often, but when we do, we seem to do very well with couples when we meet one on one because we've taken the time to cover the "dealbreakers" before ever agreeing to meet. as i mentioned in another thread, when we attend a house party, we go with zero expectations, just looking forward to having fun and hanging out with friends. if anything more than that develops, we consider it a pleasant surprise. if you go with no expectations, you can't really be disappointed. not saying this is for everyone, it's just what works for us.
Port Canaveral FL			Username hidden (3472 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	KD, I remember when you first started posting -- correct me if I'm wrong, but I think you were on the forums before you ever started playing, right? Now, there's nothing wrong with that!! But what I think may have happened is that you talked about "it" to death. Let's face it, when you first start even thinking about the LS with your SO, it's so exciting! :) Very much like a honeymoon! But instead of getting out there and trying things fresh, your mind MAY have been a little preoccupied with all the different opinions you've read in the threads. I agree with Babe, definitely take a step back and reassess. Talking, as you already know, is the key to everything :) Kat
Morgantown PA			Username hidden (2965 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Omg... 4 days that's freakin awesome!! I quit myself 6 times in the last month! I guess I will do it 6000 times until it works. But I cannot gain one more pound. I cant even get my holiday 10 pounds off yet! so yes, you understand the feeling. This last 10 was a really bad 10. ... quitting smoking and food at the same time has been impossible. I have a plethera of freakin issues i tell you... lol ~I cant believe you only threw up two times in your life! lol... when i decide to drink, I have to actually plan how much time i will have before i may need to get sick. lol... ...another reason being 'too' sober at these functions is harder btw... Omg I would definitly be okay with something like that. I would be so happy to see him play, and then yea, if I want to get involved I could. But I haven't seen profiles like that at all. And we've met a few single females, but even he was not attracted to. But I am so happy to have heard from someone who that would be okay with! ....makes it more hopeful...lol. ... I guess I need to change my profile now tho ......ugh! hey, thank you. ...and to the rest of the thread.... sorry if i derailed you, ...think of it as preventing and newbie to not being a faker... lol
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2981 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Hmmm, actually I was happy to read that you still want your hubby to be out there, even though you might need a break. Have you noticed any profiles in your area that mention a fantasy of being watched by a woman? Me, as a single woman, I happen to really enjoy the scenario when I get to play with the husband of a couple and the wife watches. Whether or not she joins at some point, it is totally up to her and equally sexy for me. We might share him, or we go at it and make him watch... Whatever the mood sets. You get the idea. Would you be OK with something like that? As far as meeting folks at parties, I kind of can relate to the way you feel. I have just stopped smoking and while I immensely enjoy a total absence of nicotine cravings, unfortunately I have food cravings from hell. I feel my ass is getting bigger with every passing hour lol. If I don't put a stop to this uncontrolled eating very soon, I will not have ANY pants to put on! At this very moment I feel quite unattractive and I am not really in the mood of going out and showing off. So I think I know what you mean. On the last and positive note, I have not smoked in four days... Lol! And I am not craving a cigarette! I think I can do it this time! I can deal with the weight later... And I think I found my solution. I stuffed myself so much today that I am at the point of wanting to throw up. I know I will not throw up, I did that only twice in my life lol, last time I puked my guts out, I was 6 years old... I am hating food right now because it made me feel sick. Wonder if that feeling extends till tomorrow, so I might be able to stop that crazy eating pattern. Well, that last paragraph probably should be in a different thread, but what the hell, as long as it is useful in some way... :)
Panama City Beach FL			Username hidden (1927 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	TotalBabe, thank you so much! Yes, I really did like lose faith. lol. But as far as preconceived ideas go... I didn't expect our first playdate to go crazy great.... but i sure was hoping it went way better than it did. I know theres alot of trial and errors, of course I was hoping it was not goiong to be the error. But I rushed it, so we did learn from it. And of course I know how life hardly ever goes the way I want it too! lol But I usually tend to make the best of it. I talk about it with my husband all the time. He actually understands, ...but he is sort of still in 'gung ho' mode. And stopping him dead in his tracks is really sad to me. I'm trying to think of other things that we could stay busy with and still have fun with. I need to get more creative...lol. I think I have no choice for me to take a little break, especially for meeting people on a serious level. I think meets and clubs I can still do comfortably. Yea, I need to tell my husband of my decision. ...just for now. About me not feeling attracted to anyone... I think I just hate people. ...LMAO! no...no... that was just a mood swing. disregard. I do have to say tho, by the time I get somewhere, the stresses for me of getting clothes to fit (and feel comfortable in!!!) , difficulties with not being assertively friendly to strangers, and NOT knowing HOW to freakin FLIRT with males anymore or females at all! lol .... I end up getting in a bad mood about it. That's not what I want to get out of the lifestyle, nor should it be of course. So, thank you! I'm going to call a break, i need to tell him, and i need to get creative with some fun stuff I am very okay with. ....Sort of would still love to see him play.... wonder how I can work that out ...any thoughts on that one? lol
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2981 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Kind, to me it seems like you guys have lost some faith (for lack of a better expression at this moment) in the lifestyle. Maybe you had some preconceived ideas about how the things should go, but in the real life things hardly ever go the way you want them to. If you feel you are going too slow, to me it means you probably should take a break from play. I understand your play experience is limited, but feeling uneasy will not make your next encounter any better. Talk to your hubby about your expectations, hopes and desires. Maybe you need to start with something very tame... When I was a part of the couple, my first experience was talking with the other couple while undressed from my top only... And they fondled themselves. That was tamer than tame! LMAO :) But that was comfortable for me at that moment. What would you BOTH be comfortable with? And Kind, you go to say that you had not met anyone you felt attracted to enough to have sex with them... Maybe you are not ready to have sex with others just yet... Have you met anyone that you would like to fondle with, for example? Nothing too wild. Have you met anyone you would like to flirt with? Just some food for thought...
Panama City Beach FL			Username hidden (1927 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Since our first playdate did not go so well we decided to be more careful and go slower.... but now 'I'm' going too slow. I really thought I got over it, but maybe I didn't. We were very gung ho before this and ever since I find myself becoming more reluctant to make any committments past meeting without expectations. I have not met one person in our recent meet and greets or clubs that I would want to have sex with.... ...and perhaps I could be appearing as a faker which is disturbing me even more. Joey, I like how you appreciate honesty, do you think my reluctance needs to be put in our profile, or just spoken about at the very first contacts? and with who we have already started some communication? ...and what the heck do i say?? ...and ...anyone have any ideas how I can help my husband thru all 'my' indecision right now. He's not mad or anything like it.... but he's starting to look a little blue about it all ... :( ...i shouldnt have gone 'so' slow i think. i shoulda gotten right back on the damn horse... lol... but i didnt. arg...
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2981 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Everyone has different intentions. As Ive said a bunch of times on here, you dont know WHO is behind the profile. Unfortunately its extremely common for their to be just a male behind a couple profile. Either the female has no idea whatsoever or they have talked about it and she said "go ahead" and shes not actually involved on here. When we joined, we were so excited about it I think we were playing within a couple of days. We have always been about face to face in person meetings and all the online stuff is just formalities to get to that point. Others take a very long time before they get the courage to actually meet in person IF they ever do at all. We tell newbies up front to PLEASE be honest with us. Though we're here for sex and you're seeing porn pics of us, we are PEOPLE. Youre talking to real people not a computer animated sex couple. With that should be some courtesy and honesty. As upfront as we are, we're not hardcore assholes. YES our intention is to find in person sex partners and we lose patience with game players very quick. But if we had a couple that was new and exploring the idea and they wanted to chat with an (experienced) couple and see if it was for them. We would be more than happy to spend time with them even if in the end they decided against it. Its all in the approach. Its only when people come across as dead serious, and lead us on right until an hour before the meet and then disappear, THEN we are not so nice. But to tell us right up front that youre a little nervous, not sure, and want to see if its something you want to do.......We'll gladly help and if we dont end up playing we wont view it as a waste of time.
Mount Juliet TN			Username hidden (662 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Caroline; If the swinging is about "sex first, then maybe friendship", then yes, they'll likely disappear when there's no sex. If it's about "friends first, but sex is a definite possibility" and they disappear, then they either aren't friends or they're trying to keep their distance until you're 'a couple' again. We're in the FWB camp and try to keep a social relationship with our LS friends even when we're not playing. Over time we've made and lost lots of "sex first" acquaintances and it can be upsetting if you thought of them as friends and find they thought of you as fuck buddies, but that sort of thing happens even in the str8 world.
Fairview Heights IL			Username hidden (627 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	* UPDATE* We never heard from those folks who wanted more pics than we already posted. We have posted more 'private' pics and met a couple for drinks. Then my husband got sent 900 hundred miles away for work. So, we had to tell everyone we couldn't meet ' til he came back. So my question is... when you take a break like that is it normal for couples to drop you?
Augusta GA			Username hidden (18 post)

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TOPIC: Newbies and fakers