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Newbies and fakers : Swingers Discussion 191675
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TOPIC: Newbies and fakers
Created by: CAROLINE6970
Original Starting post for this thread:
We are new to the lifestyle. We've chatted and emailed with a few people, but never met with anyone. We are going to a party on 12/03/11 though.

We were messaged by a "couple" earlier tonight. And after about 5 messages they asked for pics. We told them our private pics were only face pics. We didn't hear from them again. Is this a common thing? I (Gin) am kinda wary of pics and the ones I have on our profile took a bit of courage and a huge amount of trust.

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Especially the face value thing. Don't be fooled by pictures.

Whitehouse Station NJ
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Go as slow as you need, and don't worry about potential meetings. Meet people, take them at face value, and the rest may take care of itself.

Quakertown PA
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I think just hanging out with LS people is the best part of this journey. I look at sex as just a bonus. Now Mrs. Naughty on the otherhand loves the anticipation of play time. Damn am i messed up!! Im the layed back one and she is wild. Guess thats why im Mr. Nice and she is Naughty

Delta PA
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lol. never expect shit from me. i tell couples and singles...you should show up expecting to fuck each other. if you expect that you will fuck me you may end up pissed off.

San Marcos TX
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Kind Not feeling comfortable with yourself does make it hard.

My wife had gained a lot of weight over a short period of time a few years ago and it really put the brakes on things. She went from a bikini body, to quite large.

I still wanted to swing and she played along for a while to make me happy. But secretly she was hating it. I didnt find out until later. She was not comfortable getting naked in front of herself let alone other people.

We took a long break from playing with others. Unless you feel good about yourself, its no fun.

She has since lost a huge amount of weight. She did it right. Diet and exercise and now she feels great. Men check her out again. She turns heads whenever she goes out.

Now instead of feeling like guys were sleeping with her because she was willing. SHE now is in control and has her pick. And also can pick from guys who she would have been too intimidated to approach when she was heavy.

She now is back into playing on her terms and she actually wants to.

Im not saying youre in the same situation. But all I can say is if youre not 100% comfortable. Just dont do it.

Dont do it to make your husband happy. I wish my wife had told me how uncomfortable she was while she was just trying to please me.

If you want to stay involved and keep your options open without committing. Just say exactly that.

"We are back in the game but right now taking things a little slower than most. We would like to meet, and get to know eachother a little before we jump into things"

Something along those lines.

There are lots of people who think that exact way.

We are one of those couples that generally wants to meet and get down to business a short time later if we all click. However if a couple or single emailed us and said what I put in quotes.....We would totally understand and have no problem meeting and hanging out knowing that it may not end up in bed.

Mount Juliet TN
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Fun, that's pretty much the same as I'm talking about when we meet couple/couple. We have reasonable expectations because we've already covered the dealbreakers. But when it comes to parties, we have no expectations because we rarely find anyone we are interested in at parties.

Orlando FL
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if you go with no expectations, you can't really be disappointed ===========================================

That's no way to go through life.

Whitehouse Station NJ
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Okay, I'll be the one to come out and say it: When I go to meet a couple there is at least some expectation that I will be fucking her before all is said and done.

Belle Chasse LA
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we don't go out that often, but when we do, we seem to do very well with couples when we meet one on one because we've taken the time to cover the "dealbreakers" before ever agreeing to meet.

as i mentioned in another thread, when we attend a house party, we go with zero expectations, just looking forward to having fun and hanging out with friends. if anything more than that develops, we consider it a pleasant surprise. if you go with no expectations, you can't really be disappointed.

not saying this is for everyone, it's just what works for us.

Orlando FL
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Everyone has different intentions. As Ive said a bunch of times on here, you dont know WHO is behind the profile.

Unfortunately its extremely common for their to be just a male behind a couple profile. Either the female has no idea whatsoever or they have talked about it and she said "go ahead" and shes not actually involved on here.

When we joined, we were so excited about it I think we were playing within a couple of days. We have always been about face to face in person meetings and all the online stuff is just formalities to get to that point.

Others take a very long time before they get the courage to actually meet in person IF they ever do at all.

We tell newbies up front to PLEASE be honest with us. Though we're here for sex and you're seeing porn pics of us, we are PEOPLE. Youre talking to real people not a computer animated sex couple.

With that should be some courtesy and honesty.

As upfront as we are, we're not hardcore assholes. YES our intention is to find in person sex partners and we lose patience with game players very quick.

But if we had a couple that was new and exploring the idea and they wanted to chat with an (experienced) couple and see if it was for them. We would be more than happy to spend time with them even if in the end they decided against it.

Its all in the approach. Its only when people come across as dead serious, and lead us on right until an hour before the meet and then disappear, THEN we are not so nice.

But to tell us right up front that youre a little nervous, not sure, and want to see if its something you want to do.......We'll gladly help and if we dont end up playing we wont view it as a waste of time.

Mount Juliet TN
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TOPIC: Newbies and fakers