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Newbie Question : Swingers Discussion 2136661011
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The signal thing works for us pretty well.. or we'll cling to each other like groundhogs in the desert where mountain lions are known to prowl.

Your preferences can change over time. For us, it's difficult to sit there and watch while just one plays. We are in this together so both can have fun.

Bensalem PA
 
 
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"... when 2 of the spouses pair off ..."

With 2 couples, there are a lot of different ways it can go. When 2 spouses pair off and go to a bed, the other 2 of you can have conversation until such time as you've run out of topics, or the one topic you are interested in is the activity in the bedroom.

Then you might just go in and sit on the edge of the bed. This may be entertaining or enlightening, or it may turn out to be your indication that it's time to go.

Flat Rock NC
 
 
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And Nic has a point... playing with a single male is much easier. It also means fewer girl parts for everyone. :'(

Lansing MI
 
 
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Yeah, our signal is usually pretty easy, usually just that if one of us asks a question to the other person, it's a no-go. The question will leave us an excuse to cut the date short and leave. We reserve this for those "oh, hell no" situations. :)

Otherwise, it's just polite and open communication with all involved. Most of the time, if the chemistry's not there, everyone can tell, anyway.

Lansing MI
 
 
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Yet another reason it is easier to meet and play with single males. lol

To answer the other part of the OP, you definitely want to know going in how you will react. Don't wait until it happens to decide if you will only play if all are involved or if you can play separate. You may choose to allow one half to play if all four agree to that but it is easier, and usually better for all concerned, to do as has been suggested. If all four aren't on the same page, bail.

Poland OH
 
 
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The protocol in our case would be to tell them that it was nice meeting them but we're just not a match. In order to avoid those awkward moments we will excuse ourselves from the table during a date and huddle for a minute to make sure we're both on the same page. It also gives the other couple a chance to talk in private. We tried using signals when we were starting out but Mr. losAmantes always got mixed up, lol.

Virginia Beach VA
 
 
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My husband and I always agree on a signal of sorts to give each other the "okay" to play; at least we know we're both on board. As far as what the other couple thinks, it's all a matter of communication. Sometimes it's as simple as just asking outright if everyone's on board.

Lansing MI
 
 
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What happens when you meet a great couple and are hanging out when 2 of the spouses pair off and something happens with the other two that they don't. Maybe they lack the attraction the others have or...I don't know, but I think you get the general idea. Is this something set before or is there some kind of protocol for this? Just curious.

Radcliff KY
 
 
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TOPIC: Newbie Question