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Newbie Question : Swingers Discussion 213666
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TOPIC: Newbie Question
Created by: 18yrsncounting The original post for this thread was deleted.
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@Jack - No worries! Yes, being totally inflexible is probably not a good thing. As is taking one for the team. Nobody wants to do that.

Lahaina HI
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WannaTry...I wasn't criticizing, just making the observation that an inflexible approach can be counter-productive. Of course everyone has their own limits to how flexible they want to be, and that's perfectly ok. Pushing flexibility too far can get into the "taking one for the team" thread, and that's another thing entirely. :-)


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@Jack - Hubby and I have "degrees" of flexibility. :) But if one of us has a *hell no*, then it's a no go.

We seem to have had several of those kinds of couples approach us recently.... LOL!!

Lahaina HI
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WannaTry...and thus you illustrate perfectly the benefits of flexibility. We've seen a lot of posts in the Forums from people who absolutely refuse to play with anyone unless all four 'connect'. What a lot of people, especially people new to the LS, aren't mentioning is that it is in fact actually very unusual for Everyone to have great chemistry. The people who have such inflexible attitudes don't get to play much and miss a lot of fun people.


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For *us*, it would probably be a no-go situation. Hubby and I play together or not at all.

But we realize there is a give-n-take in all situations. There is no *perfect* couple for us. We know we aren't going to be able to find a couple made up of a perfect woman for him and a perfect man for me.

We actually experienced a situation like this. We met up with a really nice couple. They were a wee bit older than us; she was an experienced swinger, he was new to it, but was really into it. She had an awesome personality and a body to match! He was .... ok. He was a really sweet, sensitive guy but totally not my type. I knew hubby would really enjoy her, so I agreed. It all turned out to be a pile of fun in the end! :)

Lahaina HI
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That's actually not all that uncommon. We have had instances where we've hooked up with another couple and the Mrs and the other guy hit it off nicely but I and the other lady are no hotter than 'lukewarm'. When that happens, they go off to play and we sit and chat 'til they return. It's no big deal to us.


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Maybe you and your partner should communicate and set some bounderies for playing. If you don't want the "pairing off"; then say that if not all 4 are attracted and want to play, than nobody plays. If you're okay with the pairing off, then go watch. It's how the whole event made you feel that is important. Did you feel left out?

Cocoa FL
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We enjoy watching each other as well. Let's face it--it isn't always easy for all to be on the same page, attraction-wise. I (male half) have no problem with her pairing off with a guy even if the wife/GF and I aren't "clicking". I enjoy the show and hope she does too.

Tempe AZ
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Both of us enjoy watching each other, so we'd generally be OK with sitting back and enjoying the show... but if it's an uncomfortable situation for either of us, we're going to bail.

Modesto CA
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We have a unique question. If either of us answers it no, we do not play. We are in this for both of us to have fun.

Lake Charles LA
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TOPIC: Newbie Question