115
Making the Transition from a Couple to a Single : Swingers Discussion 35548
Busy Swingers Forum - everything you always wanted to know about swingers.
SwingLifeStyle Swingers Personal Ads. | SwingLifeStyle Swingers Clubs

Busy Swingers Forum

Everything you always wanted to know about swingers.

Create A Free Account

HELP
FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsSwinger AdviceMaking the Transition from a Couple to a Single
TOPIC: Making the Transition from a Couple to a Single
Created by: WyldAnimal The original post for this thread was deleted.
GoTo Page: 1 ... More 
 1 to 4 of 4 
User Details are only visible to members.
I know exactly where you are comming from. When my girlfriend of four years (I still don't know why she said know to marrying me but we stayed for another two years) left, I realized I never, as an individual, made friends with the couples and single women we met , only as part of the couple. That was the mistake I made, and one I see a lot of married and involved men make, even if they are not involved in swinging. They only make 'couple' friends or become acquaintences of her friends.

From what I've experienced, its much harder for a man to go from being part of a couple to being a single man and maintain the friendships he had as part of a couple. When it comes to swinging, even when everyone knows that you are truly single now, they start trying, in the back of their minds, to figure out what you did wrong to drive your wife away and that is one road block. Another is that, no matter how close you were to them, you are now a single male and that doesn't appeal to many couples. Lastly, if your wife is still active in your circle of friends, many are going to feel more cautious about associating with you more so than her. Don't know why, but it happens.

You have to treat this as starting over from scratch, not transitioning from couple to single. Get to know everyone all over again, almost as if you have just met them, and they will react in a more sympothetic manner than if you are just trying to keep a friendship alive. Married people have three kinds of friends: His friends, her friends, and their friends, meaning friends of the couple and not either individual. Swing friends are usually "their" friends and sometimes "her" friends, but rarely "his" friends, simply because the focus is usually on bisexual women living out fantasies of being with other women or couples swapping partners.

You do have one advantage over most other single men. You have an established group that know who you are, even if its as part of a couple. Make a strong effort to show them who you are as an individual (they probably only saw you as her husband or you wouldn't be asking this question) and you'll quickly be back in the 'swing' of things.


 
 
Username hidden
(109 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Wyld,

I responded because of the phrase I quoted. I misunderstood and ASSumed (my bad). Good luck and I hope things work out for both of you.

Odessa TX
 
 
Username hidden
(28 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
"I also hope that I will be well received as a single, and not look down on as a cheating Spouse of 1/2 of a couple."

That one line pretty much says it all for us. We have no desire to be enablers of deceit. Do you really expect people to believe that you are being honest with them when you can't (for whatever reason) be honest with your wife?

Either communicate your desires with your wife and the two of you figure out a way to renter the Lifestyle as a couple, ask for and get her permission to play, or get a divorce.....just our opinion.

Odessa TX
 
 
Username hidden
(28 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Wyld,

I think as long as your open and honest with people, and are a gentleman you will be well received. Under the circumstances that you are having to switch to a single in the lifestyle i think people will be receptive, just make sure you attend the meet & greets and get out and socialize. People will realize what a great guy you are and you will be fine.

K of RK

Muncy PA
 
 
Username hidden
(2913 posts)
GoTo Page: 1 ... More 
 1 to 4 of 4 
TOPIC: Making the Transition from a Couple to a Single