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Learn When to Walk Away! : Swingers Discussion 35720101
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TOPIC: Learn When to Walk Away!
Created by: BigPecs8 The original post for this thread was deleted.
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we have had code words since the beginning.When we meet a couple for the first time we have a code word for this is a good couple, a code word for gotta go we have no interest at all. We also have a code word when we are with another couple and it gets out of hand saying lets get dressed and outta of here. We have used the code word for getting dressed and ou8tta of here only one time.This guy started telling Suzy he loved her and wished he could spend the rest of his days with her. We had known this couple a little over a year,knew he wanted her real bad, just did not know how he felt about her.As soon as he said that garbage to her she said the code word, without explanation we both got dressed and left.leaving it up to themselves to discuss what was wrong. There have been several times we have used the code word when we have met couples saying no way, no how that this will never go to the next step.Suzy is much nicer then I am about this.For myself if I have no interest no matter what anyone does, I will not have interest .

Sarasota FL
 
 
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Being direct and up front is the ONLY way. Too many folks don't understand clear behavior. I have had men who touch me without so much as a hello. Touch me in places that REQUIRE a hello. I tell them they didn't ask.

They ask...I tell them NO. Manners are a lost art. BTW, I never say maybe. It's either no or yes. I know when the chemistry is there.

I had a woman try to grab me, Saturday. She was drunk. She walks up. Asks me if I like "big, Black, dicks?" I say no. Errr..they need to be attached to people!!! She tells her male partner to get lost. She attempts to drag me off. She forgot to ask the other question. Did I want to play? I didn't.. I was relaxing.

There were other women...who had caught my eye. She wasn't one of them. Besides...drunk women with long fingernails...a definite risk factor.

I walked away. Didn't like the entitled, drunk, aggressive, behavior.

Glen Burnie MD
 
 
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the time to walk away is at any moment that one or both of you feel uncomfortable...make an easy excuse like "i'm not feeling well" make sure your spouse knows the code ahead of time...

the important thing is to always get out when someone feels uncomfortable..before any bad situations arise...

once something is done it is too late to have it undone

Grantville PA
 
 
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"feeling like your on a job interview instead. This happened to us recently, and of course it was with a single female."

Maybe that's your experience with single women. Not all of us operate that way. I have had several couples basically do the same thing on e-mail. Then just drop the entire thing. Nothing said.

When I meet a couple at a club, I'm looking for chemistry. I'm watching him. I'm watching her. I don't ask tons of questions. I make small talk. The natural flow of conversation will allow me to see if anything would work out. I don't need 50 questions answered. In fact, I would leave if I felt like I was on a job interview. Anyone with that much hesitation is a no go.

I do what Expo does. I change the tenor of the conversation. The goal of the meeting. That way I have a good time regardless.

I get up and leave if I'm feeling like an object in their game, the guy is pushing the woman to do things she doesn't want to do, or any other negative vibe. I am never desperate. I've never been sorry I waited.

Experienced folks know when to get out of dodge.

Mischief.

Glen Burnie MD
 
 
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NOthing worse then meeting a couple or a single and trying to hold a conversation, but actually feeling like your on a job interview instead. This happened to us recently, and of course it was with a single female. The woman was very nice but the conversation did not flow easily, nor was there any chemistry. Was just a shame it didn't work out, but not all the people we meet are going to be the right ones. We could have persued the fantasy with the Unicorn, but we decided to walk away from it. No sense leading her on, for it not to work in the bedroom. R & K

Muncy PA
 
 
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whenever we have been in this position we will always let them and her know that its no big deal.To us if sex does enter the equation its great if not its great to as we have just met some really neat people.We would continue with drinks, find out what she thinks is fun , if it would seem fun to us we would recommend that as our next adventure. The most important issue to us is everyones comfort level. To date this has been one of Suzy and my strongest asset. We have been able to set a comfort level that allows people to ease into any situations. They can see that sex is not the first thing on our mind. Now to the opposite spectrum: why is it that so many people you are nice to , think this means that there MUST be an attraction to them. We just met an OMG couple, we stayed and had drinks and they came to a pub we frequent.about 11 they started to pull the divide and conquer thory , then when that did not work he had his hand on her arm looking her in the eye trying to sweet talk , his other started doing the same here.LMAO as if we would not notice! thats when I looked at Suzy and said gotta go.Just because people are nice does not mean there is an attraction........

Sarasota FL
 
 
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That is so true. Its funny that men and women will do that in a second when dating, but when swinging they try to ignore the fact that they are uncomfortable with the people they meet because they don't want to be rude. I've even seen men visibly nervous around me for whatever reason but when I try to leave the wife says not to be silly and just loosen up.

You have to know when to walk away. It could be anything that has one person uncomfortable and it might just be that day. But if you don't give them the room to recover, you've just shot yourself in the foot with them.

Lansing MI
 
 
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TOPIC: Learn When to Walk Away!