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Is there a one done rule in the lifestyle : Swingers Discussion 179470
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TOPIC: Is there a one done rule in the lifestyle
Created by: twonluv69
Original Starting post for this thread:
We know the logistics of getting people together is pretty daunting with families, careers, etc. to manage, but it seems that there is a small "window of opportunity" in which folks get together. Too short and it's not enough time to get to know one another; too long and folks seem to lose interest. We've been contacted by and corresponded with folks that we thought were perfect for us and they expressed the same interest in us... but it seems like after a certain number of e-mails or cancelled plans, most folks simply move on. So we were just wondering if anyone else has noticed this or has anyone ever re-engaged after a long hiatus?

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I guess in the end everything works out (there's a reason things never progress) but it just seems strange to have so many "loose ends" out there... a simple "no thank you" would suffice.

Fairview Heights IL
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"Just remember, there are about 10,000 variables that have to come together in order for a couple (and singles) to meet and play with others. TIMING is right at the top of that list."

SO true... We've recieved a lot of e-mails over the past few months from folks that are interested in us, but after we reply the trail goes cold. Again, not a big deal but from what (little) we know we would've been fairly compatible.

Fairview Heights IL
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It does seem to happen more often than not.

Just remember, there are about 10,000 variables that have to come together in order for a couple (and singles) to meet and play with others. TIMING is right at the top of that list.

Steve

Rowlett TX
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the only rule that is the same for every body every where for everything is no means no

Kingston TN
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I just got on this pc two mouths ago so it is all new to me ,but I am giving it a shot, what the hell not getting much any way, having a dry spell,hey, rdy123 and chim is suppose to hold a snakes head for me,I ll get some then.heheheh.this is different,good or bad , time will tell. I think I am connecting with some people,not sure how many, but that alright.having fun what more could I ask of people I don't know

Kingston TN
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The idea of opening your private pics in the way you described is a great idea.

The no emailing about it sets up a great scenario:

You have interest so you open em. If the other pair has interest they may view your pics and notice the gallery access, and if they are astute enough to recognize you opened them specifically for them, its a subtle way of showing them your interest.

It like a face to face non verbal cue, for the internet.

GENIUS!!!

-M

Colleyville TX
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For the folks that try to get to know us, we do send out a little "tickler" every now and then just to let them know we haven't forgotten about them. Like most folks, this is not a full-time lifestyle for us either but we have made some life-long friends here that we like being around no matter what.

Thanks for the idea thn1045, although we don't attend as many parties as we'd like to we may use your idea as we've recently toyed with the idea of attending out of town parties to protect our anonymity here locally.

Fairview Heights IL
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We bet most people, if they're online regularly, get a fair amount of emails and people saying hello. We have enjoyed nice exchanges from way more couples and single men then we could ever meet.

Since we only get out to enjoy this maybe every other month at best and sometimes then the sitter isn't locked in till maybe a day or two before, we don't usually reach out because we don't want to cancel on anyone. What we will do though is sign up for an event and post a hot date about it the day or two before. Everyone going pings the event to see who has signed up.. :)

If we see a profile of someone going we like we unilaterally open our pics up to them. Most times we don't even send an email to let them know. Then if they are intereted they write or recognize us from our pics at the event. It's kinda like smiling at someone across a bar and seeing if they smile back... coy? Perhaps, but it's been pretty effective.

With the right couple or single guy.. we don't need hours of chit chat and are pretty good at easing in to put a smile on you ;-) But planning way ahead is something we generally aren't good at doing.

Bensalem PA
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I would suggest that if you are really interested, it doesn't hurt to send out a "tickler" every couple of months. Mrs. Bucks and I are not every weekend lifestylers and often go 3-4 months between any actual play time.

We played e-mail tag with our now favorite couple for 9 months before we finally met. They are now very dear friends and we're happy that we stayed in touch.

As long as both parties still express interest, I would say that it's definately ok to maintain contact.

Mr. Bucks

Southampton PA
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Thanks KittyPride,

We understand that real life takes precedence as our family & careers come first as well. And while it doesn't bother us, it's just unfortunate that the potential to make really great friends eludes us yet again. We always try to treat people the way we like to be treated (with respect), and always answer e-mail or follow up a meeting with a courtesy note even if to say "No Thanks". While we aren't going to change who we are for anyone, we would at least like to clear up and misunderstanding or misconceptions they may have in an effor to move forward. But As much as we'd like to ask "What Happened?" we believe in respecting everyone's privacy... we just hope people don't mistake our respect for a lock of interest!

Fairview Heights IL
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TOPIC: Is there a one done rule in the lifestyle