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FORUMS General Discussions Swinger Advice Insist on a Telephone Conversation!
TOPIC: Insist on a Telephone Conversation!
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we do the phone chat , not to check out that everything is up to speed. I the male normally do the internet monitoring, she does not care to chat on line, if you manage 5 minutes of internet time wiht Suzy you have done remarkably well.She is just a busy person at the homestead.The phone call lol proves that there really is a mrs! LOL. When we have the phone , we all do chat a few minutes, nothing special hi how are , what are your interests on where we are going. Strip club, pub, pub with music etc.Normaly we phoen chat with couples that visit the area 2-4 timesa year.The phone chat is not necessary if the other couple also agrees it is not.Most that are in our area know that we are a real couple, we used to put on meet and greets for 4 years here in a local hangout.Others have contacted us due to a friend of theirs that told them to contact us. So far we have not had the male show up by himself.If I get a feeling that we are being played I willl let them know that if he shows by himself he will be asked to leave or we will leave as soon as he arrives.Those that have tried this game normally after hearing that never come back again.

Sarasota FL
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We guess we've been lucky, but our policy from day one has been very strict. After establishing a few emails, we insiste on a phone interview...Mac always call and talks to the husband and then request to speak to the wife. After he has verified that she is part of this lifestyle, then he passes the phone over to MJ so the ladies have a chance to talk. We feel that it's up to the ladies to do the planning and plotting, so we leave it at that. We do make a few more phone calls after that, to establish a raport and then decide to meet at a public place for drinks, dinner, and what ever happens afterwards. We've never been let down and have always wound up meeting classy people. We figure the patience and determination pays off in the end.

Riverside CA
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we fully and completely agree... we will never meet with a couple until talking on the phone first... and we take it one step further and insist on meeting in a public place because if you meet someone at their home you have no idea what you are walking into..

one of our experiences,my wife had met this beautiful girl through another website,they had played a few times and the three of us got together also,everything went beautifully...the girl then got a new "boyfriend" and she wanted him to be involved also...we were anxious to meet him and she said he was very into the idea...so as is our rule,we always talk on the phone first even though we had spent time with her several times before we wanted to talk with him as well....he was very polite,offered to buy some wine for the evening,and everything went very well....the girl then called back ten minutes later to say that he was going to sleep but we could still come over... the red flags went up...and sure enough he changed his mind and became totally enraged that she was involved in the lifestyle..even after he bought wine for the evening.....just goes to prove,it is very very important to always talk on the phone to see the mood and state of mind of all people involved

*smiling again* eternal bliss

Grantville PA
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we always also require a telephone chat. We also call to confirm before we head out.So far we have never in over 6 years had a no show.The phone chat normally is a quick hello, how are you , verification that both of us guys do have a spouse! LOL. This allows the ladies to put the ground rules into affect. One time we spoke to a couple before 10 am on a saturday morning. WE canceled right then and there when she was to stoned or drunk to carry a conversation. For the life of me I do not understand why they called that early to talk.

Sarasota FL
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We have only done a few first meetings at a restaurant "couple to couple". twice it worked out and we still see them after a few years. The third was a disaster. Since then, we have only met first-time people at a swing club, or meet & greet. We also meet a lot at our local nudist resort, where we spend most weekends during the season. For us, meeting at "like-minded" gatherings seems the best. We have never wasted an evening and always have a good time, playing or not.

Pierson FL
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We insist on teleplone conversation! Unfortunatly we have found that some couples do NOT read profiles carefully and go by the pics we do not like wasting our time or yours........

Naples FL
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You know, I wonder if our lack of bad experiences is because of our ages. The people we contact or who contact us are mostly 45-60 years old (except for some of that single male segment that doesn't care WHO they contact or WHAT they are looking for). Maybe by that age the phonies who never got anywhere have long since disappeared. You think? And maybe those of us who have survived swinging into such a ripe old age have a well-developed "sixth sense" or a heightened sensitivity on our "red flag detectors."

Even though the pool of candidate matches for folks our age is considerably smaller than for you 30-somethings or 20-somethings, if we detect the slightest hint of evasiveness or incompatibility we just move on. We've learned not to waste valuable time meeting couples who just aren't a good match for us, no matter how "hot" they look or how interested they say they are in US.

I think you have to develop a balance between being "too picky" and casting too wide a net. Even if you are old fogies like us! LOL

South Riding VA
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We often use the webcam and chatting online to get to know couples before we meet them in person, and have found that to be a good way to "screen" people. We've also planned some initial meetings with no possibility for play- meeting all together with the kids somewhere, or for dinner just before a play we have tickets to see- which is also a good way to check for compatibility (and to be sure people are who they say they are). We've had some really fun times this way! L.

Ithaca NY
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Interesting recommendation. In over 7 years of swinging and meeting new couples, we have only twice ever spoken to them on the phone before meeting., and we've never had a negative experience. By doing a good job of analyzing profiles for compatibility, and having 2 or 3 positive email exchanges before setting up a meeting, obviously we must have done a good job of screening. Besides, if you are talking to "strangers" on the phone and getting acquainted, you remove much of what you have to talk about at the first meeting.

We like our initial conversations to be face-to-face over the dinner table at a restaurant. Personalities, voice inflections and facial expressions all give you important clues. Plus we like to see how a couple treat each other, and how they treat the server at our table.

We just don't think it's necessary to ALWAYS talk on the phone before meeting. Clearly we haven't made that a practice - in fact we've RARELY done that - and we've never had a bad experience.

South Riding VA
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TOPIC: Insist on a Telephone Conversation!