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I am Lost for the correct reply : Swingers Discussion 222702
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TOPIC: I am Lost for the correct reply
Created by: lou124
Original Starting post for this thread:
I will try to make this simple. I have been playing with a SM and we will be attending a few parties as a couple, the other night he asked me if I minded him playing with a single female we both know. My response was "I have no control over who you play with you are an adult and need to make those choices for yourself" his response "oh ok". What was I suppose to say?
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i agree with jackdarlene. also since he went with you to a party maybe he thought the 2 of you would be playing together. and maybe he has more feelings for you than you for him.

Philadelphia PA
 
 
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It was very thoughtful of him to discuss it with you in advance. By doing so he gave you the opportunity to object if it bothered you and kept you "in the loop" so you wouldn't be surprised later if it mattered to you. He sounds like a real gentleman. :-)

Fairview Heights IL
 
 
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Well chalk it up to respect for your feelings. Lots of Girls do have rules about any kind of relationship with their personal friends. Perhaps his concern was it would be awkward for you since she is your friend too.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
 
 
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Thank you for all your insight--

Please understand I am not upset just caught off guard that he would even ask. I think before the party Saturday we will have a little chat just so he understands I am not the jealous type at all. I am going to relax and enjoy the time we spend together because this is one ride I am enjoying on so many levels.

Columbus OH
 
 
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You met him via swinging. He's a swinger, you're a swinger. He did the right thing checking with you. Heck you have 19 certs. You didn't exactly come on this site for an exclusive relationship did you?

The two of you need to establish if you are two singles still hooking up with others, or a couple hooking up as a couple or what ever. But you should be neither shocked, nor upset about his honesty.

He's a swinger... of course he wants to fuck other women.

A swinger is a person who is honest enough to admit that they desire others and does so in an open way with any partner they may have. An adulterer just fucks and lies about it.

Greenville SC
 
 
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I think it would depend on whether or not you had hopes that this was a relationship beyond friends with benefits or not. Agreeably you have no control over what he does but you do have feelings. If the idea troubles you that he is still seeing other people than you need to discuss that with him. If the answer is yes , it hurts you need to decide how to proceed and how much energy you want to put into something he isn't really invested in.In any event your answer doesn't give him much insight into how you feel.Perhaps a open conversation is needed about both your hopes for the future between you. You may or may not like his answers but at least you'd know where exactly you stand and can plan your life accordingly.

Until you answer the question honestly to yourself , you really cant answer him. Who knows maybe he simply asked to gauge your level of commitment .

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
 
 
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We think it is great that he asked you. Basic respect for your feelings.

Your answer should have been whatever makes you feel comfortable. If it is a NSA convenience type of relationship then you would have a different response than if you were building an exclusive relationship.

Communication is the key. He asked and you have an opening for further discussion.

Middletown DE
 
 
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He knows....right? You know that he knows?, and he knows that you know that he knows...? More importantly....You know, that he knows that you know that he knows...right? Because if he doesn't know or if he thinks that you thinks he kows but he doesn't know, then well...ya know?

Hephzibah GA
 
 
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I will try to make this simple. I have been playing with a SM and we will be attending a few parties as a couple, the other night he asked me if I minded him playing with a single female we both know. My response was "I have no control over who you play with you are an adult and need to make those choices for yourself" his response "oh ok". What was I suppose to say?

Columbus OH
 
 
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(952 posts)
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TOPIC: I am Lost for the correct reply