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Husband lost control in our first couples experience Need advice! : Swingers Discussion 1957171041
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsSwinger AdviceHusband lost control in our first couples experience Need advice!
TOPIC: Husband lost control in our first couples experience Need advice!
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Great thread to read up at 3 am on west coast, jet lagged onto the forums.

I agree with those who say the husband did nothing wrong. I also like putting slapstick comedies on tv during playtime and if my woman questions the choice I am gonna publicly slap her down. How else will she learn never to question me in public like that?

What I really like about the husband is how he noticed he was upsetting his wife but he did not succumb to any inclination he might have had to change his behavior to please her. I used to think people like that are assholes, but thanks to all the wisdom others have shared with me on these fora, now I realize that he is just a very secure man, confident of who he is, unencumbered by pesky notions of empathy or growth.

Amherst Canada
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Boyd

May I suggest you post your follow up question in a new thread as this one has gotten bogged down in debating the minutiae from your recounting of the evening.

I'm sure the issue y'all have honed in on is a common one that swingers face and I believe you'll get a variety of responses in a fresh post.

holly

Pittsburgh PA
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Boyd93.

Sounds like you're equating Hot Chicks with Great sex. Sorry, to tell you. But being a Hot,Chick doesn't equate to being a Great Fuck.

Ms V

Carrollwood FL
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I must admit, Akron, that your read between the lines appears to have caught one of the key issues Boyd is facing. Well said.

Sheboygan Falls WI
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She wrote "Our number one rule "Always show each other respect" And for us, feeling connected in one way or another, during the experience is an important part of playing ."

As a woman and a newbie not so long ago, I can understand how important it is to adhere to the previously agreed upon rules. This was their first MFMF and the OP was a bit nervous about it. When the husband went way beyond the boundary, it was upsetting to her. Countless times in the Forums more experienced people have written about the need to continue communicating clearly with their partner, even while the action was taking place. It is not an unreasonable expectation, in my opinion, but if it doesn't happen while everyone's playing then the discussion needs to occur as soon as possible. And they've done that!

Sheboygan Falls WI
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Akron, your paraphrasing in this case seems to be way off base. The OP has said several different ways that it was her husband's approach to the situation and his attitude of disrespect toward HER that was the problem, not the fact that he was having a good time.

I agree with Akron that it was likely stretching relationship propriety to spill the beans about the husband's insecurity here. That kind of revelation was intended to be private, according to the description, and posting it here opens it up to untold numbers of strangers/pervs/potential partners.

Sheboygan Falls WI
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Sometimes it would be easier if everyone came at the same time, kind:) We had been with a couple and the male half had to mirror everything Dave and his wife were doing, like if they kissed, we kissed, if they did oral, he did oral to me, etc. It was frustrating. it is just more comfortable and less pressure to go at one's own pace. It made me think of a thread from the other week, about what happens when some are finished, and the others are not, what to do. That was a good question, and I think you were the op, kind. I enjoyed the different perspectives of how people cope with that situation.

Quakertown PA
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The Op says in the OP- " My partner finished well before my husband, who kept going way longer...then I could see her husband getting upset"

That is why I said when full swapping, it is impossible for everyone to finish at the same time.

Quakertown PA
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Correct typo- before they leave their own house, they know they have their connection.

Quakertown PA
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What Sweet and Ak says makes total sense to me. We have always been full swap. When you are with the half of another couple, one will finish first. Simultaneous orgasms with four people would be very difficult. Does that mean the other couple has to stop when the first one is finished? I'd have to say no. As for not forgetting about a spouse, as long as one is secure about their relationship, they have that connection before they leave your house. Otherwise, you will have feelings of jealousy. It is also fine to switch back and forth from one's own spouse to the other half and back- we do it for fun, not to reestablish our connection.

Quakertown PA
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TOPIC: Husband lost control in our first couples experience Need advice!