Husband lost control in our first couples experience Need advice!: Swingers Discussion 1957171031

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TOPIC: Husband lost control in our first couples experience Need advice!

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User Details are only visible to members.	You have to be careful about a situation before you get into it. If you did not discuss what would happen and something goes wrong just communicate. I have been in situations with my Daddy and I have gotten jealous. I just stop and say Im getting jealous and then everyone seems to just work it out. Dont wait until after its over. Then things go to far. The time I got jealous the other woman and him understood and we just changed postitions and I was happy and everything went great. Sometimes as women we can just feel left out and not loved. It is really about mistaking sex as love and as women we have to realize that if our man is fucking someone it does not mean they still dont love you. Enjoy it! Embrace it. Love it!
Citrus Heights CA			Username hidden (4 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Akron- You are a grumpy curmudgeon with a secret marshmallow interior! Boyd gave as good as she got.... Lots of people do and it all usually works out. Sed- thank you but I just looked over my last several posts and I need lay off the sermons.
Cincinnati OH			Username hidden (3306 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Before I apologize for having had -'negativly' derailed- this thread... I just need to say that i have 'seen' people, not only scare off new poster's but showed their 'happiness' in doing so ...and ...how fast they did it! ...it stayed in my mind. And then ...after two FULL days of seeing most of the community in the threads of ....who's sitting on who's fence... I just feel it wouldn't be horrible to have some new blood around here. That is where my sensitivity on the subject comes from. I do not apoligize for feeling as I do, but I do apologize for the 'negative derailment'. And ...I will never apologize for being 'nice!' ...of all things, lol, ...especially in the Advice and Getting Started groups, however, many of you are right, I should not expect it from others. Thank you for that reminder. to Rdy... you did wonderful. lol ;) to Seduction... yes, i'm glad they exist too. to Boyd... happy to see you stayed. :)
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2981 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Well stated Boyd. You are right to call a spew a spew.
Amherst Canada			Username hidden (1700 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Finally, I do have a few words for AkronFT. Over the years that I have participated in forums, I have learned that there's always the quintessential self righteous bullies that seem to get their rocks off being aggressive & overbearing. For whatever reason, they have this pathological need to be heard. And they always have their cronies that follow along with them. What a "delightful" bunch you are! I'm certain that you feel that I should be honored that I have been blessed with your jaded "opinions". I decided to look back at your previous posts here on SLS to see the "wisdom" that you so happily spew forth upon others on this site. And as expected, there's a profound pattern I observed in your postings. There's no in-between with you.Either you are joking & jovial OR you're attacking & demanding to be heard. AND if the person disagrees with you,then it's your automatic defense mechanism to proclaim that they are in "denial",they have self esteem issues & they don't want to hear YOUR "truth." There's only one word that comes to mind when I read your ranting posts. Let me enlighten you with the definition,as I have seen in SEVERAL of your previous posts...it's something you enjoy doing. NARCISSISM: A psychological condition characterized by self-preoccupation, lack of empathy, and unconscious deficits in self-esteem." Oh, I find that last part especially interesting! "Unconscious deficits in self-esteem." Hmm, I think that hits the nail on the head. You throw the word "insecure" around in your posts. If anyone has any issue, well, it's obviously because they are insecure according to the Bible of AkronFT, right? It most definitely sounds like you have some "unconscious deficits" that you are projecting upon others.In reading your posts,it was also quite amusing to see how pissed you become when anyone tries to refute the Great AkronFT. REALLY ruffles your feathers & that's when you go into a tirade. It's a pattern that you have repeated over & over here on SLS. So... either you are a narcissist or you are just a crazy man with a raging case of diarrhea of the mouth. I'm hoping it's the aforementioned, because as my grandfather always used to say "A crazy man doesn't know he's crazy". With that being said, I have absolutely no desire to hear any of your so-called "wisdom" & I will just read the intelligent posts and learn from them. You just need to keep in mind, EVERY couple has a different way of swinging. And just because they don't swing or think the way you do, does NOT make it wrong. Expectations & rules for swingers who have been doing it for OVER A QUARTER OF A CENTURY compared to those of us just getting started....we are a million MILES apart in our approach & what we want out of our experiences. And I am also QUITE certain that our definition of respect isn't the same as yours either.Take note of those members who conduct themselves with dignity & decorum. Of particular note....Savandwin. They are a class act & if you will look at the thread, "A FEW QUESTIONS FROM A NEWBIE COUPLE" you will see no accusations, no finger pointing. Just the understanding, Hey...you know what...sometimes things go wrong, especially when it's all new to you. Here's some ideas that you can try... As a matter of fact, the way Mrs. S describes their play is exactly the way we want to play & I am glad I left this thread to find posters who know how to handle themselves appropriately in a public forum such as this. You can come back at me with both barrels blazing, but I'm done. You are not wasting anymore of my time & when I see you spewing off on other threads...I'll just keep my grandfather's wise words in mind. :)
Cincinnati OH			Username hidden (13 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Ready2play: Just read your reply, thank you for the advice & telling me about your experiences when you first ventured into the swinging world. :)
Cincinnati OH			Username hidden (13 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	For the past couple of days,I've sat back & just observed,because obviously this thread has totally derailed thanks to a certain few.( But we'll talk about that later.... ) I've rec'd several emails,wonderful advice,& an outpouring of friendship from several SLS members.Your sound advice is duly noted! Thank you! And no worries! This newbie is not leaving.I'm a Type A personality & my fortitude does not waver that easily. :) With that being said,I would like to state some final clarifications & I'm done explaining that night. -In regards to wanting to feel connected & asking if I should play with him first.lol Those comments were about the rules that we had set in place & I was trying to figure out ways to help our playtime BE the playtime we want it to be. One of those rules was that we wanted to feel like we were sharing in the experience.We planned to touch & caress each other,talk to each other,whisper naughty things that only we could hear. But it didn't happen that way & the "sex trance" set in. A woman with insecurities would've stopped the evening, grabbed her husband,& chewed his ass as they drove home.Me? I could clearly see that it wasn't going to happen & I made the best out of it.To compare a couple of newbies to those of you that have been doing this for years & years is absurd. Now, when we are in our 50's or 60's? Who knows? We may not have ANY rules,playing in separate rooms & not want to see each other till the next morning.But RIGHT now being new to this,that's NOT how we swing & there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. -And the proclamation that I'm a "drama queen"& have "major insecurity issues" because I told my husband he is to treat me with respect? I would never speak hateful to my husband & he's NEVER been hateful to me. A total 180. Standing up for myself & not allowing him to be disrespectful is simply indicative that I'm a strong woman.Once I made him aware,I was done with it. A "drama queen" would've pouted,held onto it all night & would NOT jump in doing a strip tease & playing hard with their partner like I did. And you seem to glaze over the fact that I made the best of the nite when my partner refused to kiss or touch me.A woman with major insecurities would've been upset the rest of the evening. What did I do? I went & played with his WIFE & had a GREAT time the rest of the night.That's NOT insecurity.That's called ingenuity, a person that sees the glass half full & saw an attractive woman whose lovely mouth was available. :) -And the statements that it's ridiculous to think that everyone should finish at the same time. Again,totally misconstrued. Never, EVER said that. It was my partner that was feeling upset because my husband has amazing stamina. I knew that going into this and I LOVE that about him! So it was no surprise to me, 20 minutes after my partner finished, my husband was still going.Good for him!He's awesome! But I could clearly see that HER husband was not happy at all.So my gesture to go over there & help my husband finish wasn't because I think everyone needs to synchronize their orgasms or that I was insecure that my husband was having fun with another woman.It was because my partner was very upset,so I did what I felt was appropriate to help my hubby along.Being perceptive,acting upon it & wanting to enjoy some girl on girl fun at the same time is in no way a sign that I have major insecurities. I'm observant & I take action. Simple as that. -And lastly,my husband knows that I am here on this forum discussing this issue & in order to understand the best way to deal with it,he agreed that we had to explain as much as we could.He's been with me all along the way, so for those of you asking why my husband isn't here to tell "his side of the story". I asked him to & his response? "My side is the same as yours & I'm not wasting my time explaining myself to those jackasses." Sigh....I LOVE my husband! :)
Cincinnati OH			Username hidden (13 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"It's not like it's the Open Forum where nobody has to be nice to anyone for any reason! ...(which btw, is 'why' there are no 'new' people there if anyone ever wonders) " kind- I think your heart is in the right place and I know you are trying to "fix" what you see as wrong with the forums. To a point I appreciate that. I also see that you are getting frustrated by your efforts. One poster cannot and should not think they are able to be the agent of change for something like this. It is just too easy to make assumptions about what it would take make things better. In the above quote, you say there are no new posters in the Open Forum. That simply is not true. I have have been posting there for less than five months. There are others have only been around for a year and one or two newer than me. There are new folks who are able to roll with things the way they are- folks who are able to enjoy the good, ignore the bad and let others behave as they will. I just couldn't let you assume that all new posters are chased off... ---steps down from soapbox---
Cincinnati OH			Username hidden (3306 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	LIKE
Amherst Canada			Username hidden (1700 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I agree, Maritimers. Here's something I posted in Limericks today: When so many threads do derail It frustrates, knowing they’ll fail By not being civil Sometimes it’s such drivel No wonder the newbies then bail.
Sheboygan Falls WI			Username hidden (6980 post)

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TOPIC: Husband lost control in our first couples experience Need advice!

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