115
Husband lost control in our first couples experience Need advice! : Swingers Discussion 1957171031
Busy Swingers Forum - everything you always wanted to know about swingers.
SwingLifeStyle Swingers Personal Ads. | SwingLifeStyle Swingers Clubs

Busy Swingers Forum

Everything you always wanted to know about swingers.

Create A Free Account

HELP
FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsSwinger AdviceHusband lost control in our first couples experience Need advice!
TOPIC: Husband lost control in our first couples experience Need advice!
GoTo Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 ... More 
Start   31 to 40 of 70   End
User Details are only visible to members.
Ready2play: Just read your reply, thank you for the advice & telling me about your experiences when you first ventured into the swinging world. :)

Cincinnati OH
Username hidden
(13 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
For the past couple of days,I've sat back & just observed,because obviously this thread has totally derailed thanks to a certain few.( But we'll talk about that later.... ) I've rec'd several emails,wonderful advice,& an outpouring of friendship from several SLS members.Your sound advice is duly noted! Thank you! And no worries! This newbie is not leaving.I'm a Type A personality & my fortitude does not waver that easily. :) With that being said,I would like to state some final clarifications & I'm done explaining that night.

-In regards to wanting to feel connected & asking if I should play with him first.lol Those comments were about the rules that we had set in place & I was trying to figure out ways to help our playtime BE the playtime we want it to be. One of those rules was that we wanted to feel like we were sharing in the experience.We planned to touch & caress each other,talk to each other,whisper naughty things that only we could hear. But it didn't happen that way & the "sex trance" set in. A woman with insecurities would've stopped the evening, grabbed her husband,& chewed his ass as they drove home.Me? I could clearly see that it wasn't going to happen & I made the best out of it.To compare a couple of newbies to those of you that have been doing this for years & years is absurd. Now, when we are in our 50's or 60's? Who knows? We may not have ANY rules,playing in separate rooms & not want to see each other till the next morning.But RIGHT now being new to this,that's NOT how we swing & there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

-And the proclamation that I'm a "drama queen"& have "major insecurity issues" because I told my husband he is to treat me with respect? I would never speak hateful to my husband & he's NEVER been hateful to me. A total 180. Standing up for myself & not allowing him to be disrespectful is simply indicative that I'm a strong woman.Once I made him aware,I was done with it. A "drama queen" would've pouted,held onto it all night & would NOT jump in doing a strip tease & playing hard with their partner like I did. And you seem to glaze over the fact that I made the best of the nite when my partner refused to kiss or touch me.A woman with major insecurities would've been upset the rest of the evening. What did I do? I went & played with his WIFE & had a GREAT time the rest of the night.That's NOT insecurity.That's called ingenuity, a person that sees the glass half full & saw an attractive woman whose lovely mouth was available. :)

-And the statements that it's ridiculous to think that everyone should finish at the same time. Again,totally misconstrued. Never, EVER said that. It was my partner that was feeling upset because my husband has amazing stamina. I knew that going into this and I LOVE that about him! So it was no surprise to me, 20 minutes after my partner finished, my husband was still going.Good for him!He's awesome! But I could clearly see that HER husband was not happy at all.So my gesture to go over there & help my husband finish wasn't because I think everyone needs to synchronize their orgasms or that I was insecure that my husband was having fun with another woman.It was because my partner was very upset,so I did what I felt was appropriate to help my hubby along.Being perceptive,acting upon it & wanting to enjoy some girl on girl fun at the same time is in no way a sign that I have major insecurities. I'm observant & I take action. Simple as that.

-And lastly,my husband knows that I am here on this forum discussing this issue & in order to understand the best way to deal with it,he agreed that we had to explain as much as we could.He's been with me all along the way, so for those of you asking why my husband isn't here to tell "his side of the story". I asked him to & his response? "My side is the same as yours & I'm not wasting my time explaining myself to those jackasses." Sigh....I LOVE my husband! :)

Cincinnati OH
Username hidden
(13 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
"It's not like it's the Open Forum where nobody has to be nice to anyone for any reason! ...(which btw, is 'why' there are no 'new' people there if anyone ever wonders) "

kind- I think your heart is in the right place and I know you are trying to "fix" what you see as wrong with the forums. To a point I appreciate that. I also see that you are getting frustrated by your efforts. One poster cannot and should not think they are able to be the agent of change for something like this. It is just too easy to make assumptions about what it would take make things better. In the above quote, you say there are no new posters in the Open Forum. That simply is not true. I have have been posting there for less than five months. There are others have only been around for a year and one or two newer than me. There are new folks who are able to roll with things the way they are- folks who are able to enjoy the good, ignore the bad and let others behave as they will. I just couldn't let you assume that all new posters are chased off... ---steps down from soapbox---

Cincinnati OH
Username hidden
(3900 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
LIKE

Amherst Canada
Username hidden
(2368 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
I agree, Maritimers. Here's something I posted in Limericks today:

When so many threads do derail It frustrates, knowing they’ll fail By not being civil Sometimes it’s such drivel No wonder the newbies then bail.

Sheboygan Falls WI
Username hidden
(8829 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
The fora make for good reading But tell me, where is it all leading? The folks who most play Are the same every day. It is starting to look like inbreeding.

Amherst Canada
Username hidden
(2368 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
I don't think any of the advice on this thread was mean nor unkind. Some people don't like straight advice, and they want softening to go along with it for validation. It has nothing to do with hazing or keeping people from posting.

Quakertown PA
Username hidden
(1842 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
AKF - my post was directed to the OP though I do find it interesting that you thought it wasnt.

Given that Boyd's new to the Forums I didn't know if she'd realize that it fine to pull this discussion in to a new thread. Her current question doesn't fit the headline for this thread so I was merely making a helpful suggestion. I believe she'll find a variety of helpful feedback in a thread that is specific to that issue; in fact, it might attract readers who didn't look at this thread.

While I could start a new thread with her discussion topic, it's not an issue I'm facing therefore it would be challenging to answer the questions that the OP will receive.

Pittsburgh PA
Username hidden
(4449 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
LMFAO.

"Don't be a dingbat, Edith, we have a radio, try the FM."

Songs that made the hit parade!

Amherst Canada
Username hidden
(2368 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Akron, you are right on several accounts - first of all I neglected to address the insecurity issues, and I also neglected the nuance of correcting one's spouse politely as opposed to rudely. I also agree, for the most part, that one should save the analysis for after play time (though I think an uncomfortable newbie should have more leeway to raise concerns anytime they want).

I confess I read the messages quickly and not with a careful, two-sided perspective. Was just thinking of the earlier "dontgiveashititis" theme and projecting it onto this situation. Just imagining "Meet the Fokkers" as a substitute for mood music might have clouded my thinking.

Amherst Canada
Username hidden
(2368 posts)
GoTo Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 ... More 
Start   31 to 40 of 70   End
TOPIC: Husband lost control in our first couples experience Need advice!