Husband lost control in our first couples experience Need advice!: Swingers Discussion 1957171021

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TOPIC: Husband lost control in our first couples experience Need advice!

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User Details are only visible to members.	You'd be wrong GF. ;) Why would anyone need a rule that says we can't develop feelings for playmates? We have no such rule for a couple of reasons. First, if we thought we needed a rule like that, we'd be fools to be in the lifestyle. We'd be better off trying to figure out why either of us felt we needed that rule, and what it would say about our relationship. Second. Simply acknowledging someone as a "favorite playmate" is indicative of feelings for that person, even if those feelings are not at a level that would be detrimental to the relationship. As for rules in general, we have them because they allow us to set parameters that we are comfortable with that allow us the best opportunity for a good time to be had by all.
Port Canaveral FL			Username hidden (3472 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I am a firm believer in the fact that you can not steal another if they don't want to be stolen (so to speak). very true
Philadelphia PA			Username hidden (1428 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	perfectly said SED
Chambersburg PA			Username hidden (852 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I find that whole, no emotional entanglement as the ultimate taboo fascinating. I am a firm believer in the fact that you can not steal another if they don't want to be stolen (so to speak). In other words, you can agree to all the rules on earth, but reality is often different. Sex is okay, but you'd have a cow and find it cheating if for example she began developing emotional feelings toward another man. For my husband and I there are no such rules. We understand that it's impossible to impose and enforce such rules. Despite our love and connection with each other we are secure enough in our relationship to understand the fact that if our love isn't strong enough for each other then the seams will come apart at the very next opportunity for an emotional attachment with another. Neither one of us wants to force the other to deny themselves, neither one of us wants to be with a partner whom if denied because of rules, would wonder for the rest of their lives whether they made the right decision. We both holds the outlook that we are not in this relationship to guilt our partner into staying with us. We're together because we want to be together, out of complete free will.
Colts Neck NJ			Username hidden (12312 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	You must keep him in stitches.
Port Canaveral FL			Username hidden (3472 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I love driving my husband nuts like that!
Mokena IL			Username hidden (42 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	and the simple fact of it is, this is NOT for everyone. Like not all jobs are for everyone...there are couples who should really stay happily monogamous.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23665 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Thanks sweet :) Personally I think that for many couples, swinging is one-sided. One half of the couple wants to do it......REALLY wants to do it. And the other half goes along with it. They sit down, hammer out rules and start their dabbling. Many cannot make the disconnect between "making love" and having sex. In my view. My wife can have sex with who she wants when she wants. She can call me and tell me she just fucked the hot delivery guy in the stock room at work......And that would be awesome in my mind. Now. Should I find out that she is texting back and forth with a guy, going to dinner, hanging out or becoming close friends with a guy........THAT would set me on alert and I would have a problem with that. THAT is against OUR rules. THAT to me is cheating. Carrying on an emotional connection behind your partners back. Sex however. There is nothing either one of us could do sexually that would be cheating. If I go away on business and get laid. I call and tell her about it. Same in reverse. Nobody thinks anything of it. I LOVE when she has out of the blue chance encounters without me knowing first. I find it a huge turn on. But OUR definitions and other couples may not be the same. Personally, I dont have a problem playing with a married guy. Yes, morally its wrong. But I see it as just sex. Im not trying to take him away from his family or his wife. I want nothing to do with their relationship. We're just getting off. Now.....What I just said would flip many people out that I have that opinion. And with that said. My wife isnt keen on playing with "cheating" people either.....So we dont do it. But I personally would rather have a married cheating guy in a threesome with my wife, because I know he has a lot to lose and a lot to think about should he want to go beyond sex with my wife. A single guy has nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Mount Juliet TN			Username hidden (662 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Joey my friend you are wise beyond your years.
New Orleans LA			Username hidden (2201 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	It sounds like the problems were more with the other couple than yourselves. Not everyone swings the same. We are totally laid back....Dont have "rules" so to speak and just go with things like we would if we met someone on the street. I dont care what my wife is doing as long as she is having fun. Same with me. They can do same room, other room, go out in the car, on the neighbors grass.....It doesnt make me bat an eye. She used to "make sure I was always included" and all that did was put un needed stress on her thinking I would be upset if I wasnt being touched the whole time. She didnt realize there was no need for that. But we have experienced couples like you described. Yes, usually new. But they go into swinging not very sure of themselves and set up a whole list of ground rules that dont always go with the flow. Some people want to play. But once they get off, they start thinking, analyzing and worrying about their partner...."Having too much fun" "Enjoying themselves too much" And then they start feeling insecure about themselves and all that jazz. Maybe that works for some people. Me, I prefer a couple with a little experience to know whether or not they like it. We tend to shy away from couples with RULES. Not saying that we dont respect others wishes and boundaries, but when you're in the middle of sex.....It sucks to have to stop and catch yourself from "touching this or kissing that" or whatever. Many couples who are playing in this game have other issues and they probably shouldnt be playing.
Mount Juliet TN			Username hidden (662 post)

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TOPIC: Husband lost control in our first couples experience Need advice!

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