Husband lost control in our first couples experience Need advice!: Swingers Discussion 19571710101

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TOPIC: Husband lost control in our first couples experience Need advice!

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User Details are only visible to members.	"If this continues to occur, the two of you need to have a serious conversation about what you each want to get out of this. It is one side of the story, but your side implies his goals are very different from yours." --great post nmanno... but they need seriously converse now, dont wait for it to continue. 'different goals' are hard, but if you know where each other stands in the differences, it could still work. ...still wondering what he thinks ...about why he goes into such a 'sex trance'.
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2981 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I've never heard or been part of anything that bad, but I have seen husbands who were a little too into the other woman than I was comfortable with. Obviously, the swapping and threesome lifestyle being what it is, requires a level of intimacy that's out of societal norms. That doesn't mean there is still a line and that lifestylers, oftentimes the males in my experience, enjoy dancing near the line and seeing how far it can be pushed. If this continues to occur, the two of you need to have a serious conversation about what you each want to get out of this. It is one side of the story, but your side implies his goals are very different from yours.
Fort Washington MD			Username hidden (40 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	wow... interesting dilemma... :( i have to tell you i relate alot to it, cause our first playdate was a bust too, for me and for different reasons, but my husband also got more 'tunnel vision' (lol) than i would have wanted, that also brought a little discomfort. not as extreme as your two experiences were. when we talked about it, we 'both' sort of contributed it to 'the first playdate' and possibly One drink too many! ...could alcohol be a factor for your husband? ...and are you guys 'talking' enough about it? ....like really talking with no defensiveness on his part? (or anyone's part) what does he say about being so different??? ...looking forward to the 'more experienced' posts ...as if it happens a second time, i will have to refer back to this thread myself. lol
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2981 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We just had our very first couples experience and I need advice! My husband lost control & had total & complete tunnel vision.We have been in the lifestyle for a while now & have had several MFM's and only one MFF. Every time we have had an MMF, I have always been tuned in to my husband & I've always made sure that he feels a part of any playtime we have. We recently had our first couples experience. (We are full swap.) We met, had drinks, &enjoyed some one on one flirting before heading to the room. But things went very wrong as soon as we got to the room.My husband was so excited to be with another woman & became rude & dismissive of me, grabbing his partner & getting down to business. I am no drama queen by any means, but damn it...there he goes breaking the rules from the get go.Our number one rule..."ALWAYS treat each other with respect." I called him out on it, he apologized and I left it at that. I wanted to play & have fun and I wasn't going to dwell on it. We began to play, same room, separate beds. All was great. We were all having lots of hot sexy fun. My partner finished well before my husband, who kept going WAY longer... then I could see that her husband was getting upset. My husband was ignoring both me & her husband. He never looked at me, never spoke a word to me... Very different than how he we interact usually. So then I tried to get my partner to kiss me...he refused. Ugh! So I politely asked her husband if it was OK if I went over there & I started getting freaky as possible with his wife. My husband finally finished. The rest of the night was a bust. My partner laid there & refused to touch me, so I played with them. But I really wanted the full swap experience rather than 10 minutes, it's over, & then he's rude to me. The evening ended way early with my partner saying they needed to go. My husband and the wife were kissing goodbye hot & heavy. Her husband gave me a peck. I asked him if he would kiss me more. He refused and then pulled his wife away from my husband. My husband was on cloud 9, but the night totally sucked for me, and he was clueless of that fact. So the two experiences that we have had with females, my husband lost control, did things he wasn't supposed to do, was disrespectful & ignored me & wasn't respectful & cognizant of the other husband's feelings. Essentially... he becomes like a dog in heat & all he can focus on is fucking that female. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. P.S. Interesting thing...I am the hot chick. The woman he was with was average & he wasn't all that interested in her physically. So now I wonder, what would he do if the woman is really hot?
Cincinnati OH			Username hidden (13 post)

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TOPIC: Husband lost control in our first couples experience Need advice!

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