Hurt by our Swinger Mentors: Swingers Discussion 1953631031

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Hurt by our Swinger Mentors: Swingers Discussion 1953631031

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TOPIC: Hurt by our Swinger Mentors

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User Details are only visible to members.	Yes we have been good friends for about 4 years before any sex. He is a cycling buddy of ours, and had been "dripping" on us for a long time to give the lifestyle a try. He was the first man my wife was with in the LS, and it took me a long time to trust him cuz he is such a player. Think he’s been with just about everyone on this site, lol. He is technically single but, plays as a couple with a female that I have been with several times. She was okay, but the sex with the new couple’s wife was incredible. We are only a couple of years into this, so we really looked up to him for guidance and advice in the LS. I will confess to not handling my emotions more maturely. I just wasn't prepared for the emotional reaction that I had once I found out the 4 of them played just 5 days after we introduced them to each other, and the night before our last date. It was a bit much for me to process, that’s why I came on here. You all have been great. I will try to grow up. Sweettart, you are almost sounding a tad sympathetic now. You’ve come a long way from sort of advising me to “fuck off!” Haha :-)
Maryville TN			Username hidden (14 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"Exactly, That's why we don't set out looking for "friends", once you become friends in that sense, you give them control over your emotional well being, Something we don't give up very easily." ..i think this is a very important lesson to learn in the lifestyle. ...i just haven't been able to do it yet... so new and seem to need the friendship feeling first. ...eeesh.
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2981 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	..it mite be a good reason why many dont choose to friends with their playmates tho... Exactly, That's why we don't set out looking for "friends", once you become friends in that sense, you give them control over your emotional well being, Something we don't give up very easily. But I also can't see having to tell the friends we do have when or who we are playing with under any circumstances, but also wouldn't see a need to hide it either.
New Orleans LA			Username hidden (2186 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"I also don't understand whats stopping you from having you 6-way, did one or both of the couples decide not to play with you anymore. You should be glad they have already played together, that way if and when you do tour 6-way there won't be any beating around the bush." ---i dont think i could have this 6-way after it being so obvious that they were not wanted there. i dont enjoy being where i dont feel wanted at all... also... thinking you are/were 'friends' with someone sort of takes you into a different area than just playdates. ...it mite be a good reason why many dont choose to friends with their playmates tho... maybe it's just another lesson learned.
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2981 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	That's what I am saying. I also don't understand whats stopping you from having you 6-way, did one or both of the couples decide not to play with you anymore. You should be glad they have already played together, that way if and when you do tour 6-way there won't be any beating around the bush. And a final word of advice, grow a thick skin, because if you don't you will have a long haul in this hobby.
New Orleans LA			Username hidden (2186 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I think some couples think because they played with a couple that they are suppose to be exclusive to them now. I don't think that's how the lifestyle works. We play with regulars to us and would never get pissed if they played with others, the only one i have to answer to is Mrs John.
Philadelphia PA			Username hidden (2058 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Sweetart - Thx for your blunt opinion. I am here to learn and grow, so that's why I asked for advice here. I accept your opinion. If the premise for the meet and greet was to work out a 6-way, and the other 4 changed it to a 4-way without including us in the decision, you are saying that is perfectly acceptable, and that we deserved no further consideration in the matter.
Maryville TN			Username hidden (14 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I am sorry but I think you need to grow up. We are all adults here and have no one to answer to except our spouses. If an other couple or person had a problem with whom we played with we would tell them to fuck off.
New Orleans LA			Username hidden (2186 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	The only mistake I see here is everyone agreeing to keep it a secret. The reason perhaps is at least one of the 4 of them knew you'd be upset which really says more about you than it does them. I'm sorry if that sounds blunt but something you might want to consider. You had a mentor couple, you meet another couple and introduced them to your mentor couple. I don't really see them problem except you felt left out. Neither couple owed you an explanation and neither couple should feel the need to hide their activities from you. If your buddy introduced you to a girl he knew and had no "dating" relationship with that girl do you really think it is necessary to ask his permission to see her? I am truly sorry your feelings were hurt and you felt left out but to be angry seems a mite silly and immature. If I was in your place IF I said anything at all about the situation my conversation would be geared more to asking your long time friends why they would ever feel the need to hide their activities from you and to listen with your heart and not your ego. They're intent was to have fun with people they found compatible and didn't want to hurt you . The fact that you introduced them is irrelevant .They failed but I suspect even had they been forth coming and told you point blank " We're seeing them tomorrow privately " you'd have reacted the same if they did not ask your permission or invite you. Something to think about and again I am sure it stings but not something to be angry about. Mrs Sav
Weaver AL			Username hidden (4005 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Thanks Kinddragon. I see from your empathy where you get your username. Kind of like the character "Socrates" in that movie Peaceful Warrior. BTW "Ugot222001" We did give them an out before I had solo sex with the wife. Their profile says "we all play or no one plays" and I was totally respectful of that. We talked at length and we told them that we were completely fine with just moving on, so we all could find a better couples match (since he wasn't getting anything out of it). They refused the offer, because he said he enjoys the non sex friendship and fun with my wife so much that they want to continue the friendship on all levels with us.
Maryville TN			Username hidden (14 post)

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TOPIC: Hurt by our Swinger Mentors