Hurt by our Swinger Mentors: Swingers Discussion 1953631021

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Hurt by our Swinger Mentors: Swingers Discussion 1953631021

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TOPIC: Hurt by our Swinger Mentors

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User Details are only visible to members.	A little off topic, but you bring up the Peaceful Warrior movie. Have you ever read the book? It might give you a little different perspective on your dilemma. Of course, as always, the book totally blows the movie away. I have read it at least a dozen times, and have bought it probably that many times and given away with just the promise to read from cover to cover, just the way I was first introduced to the book...sorry for the stray.
Copperas Cove TX			Username hidden (41 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	This might be slightly off topic, since I think the main complaint has to do with your feelings about how the other couple acted. Just curious though, if you have all agreed to solo play, why not just enjoy that? I'm sure that at some point in the future you'd be able to repay the courtesy when your SO makes a connection but you don't connect with the other half. -S
Aledo TX			Username hidden (25 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	You were wishful thinking lol...we all do it . Sex complicates things, it can change the dynamics of relationships, confuse friendships and make us loose our otherwise sane thoughts. Instead of trying to create the ideal situation I suggest you bid your time, meet lots of people and let ideal situation find you. Couple to couple attraction can be very difficult to find but don't give up, don't settle with a couple you're both not into sexually and don't push things that you already know aren't working. The level of sexual attraction will never be 50/50 between 2 spouses. One will generally be far more "attracted" than their spouse is but if you are going to play with other couples the gauge you should use to IF you are going to play with them should be measured by the least interested partner....if they're on board to play even if they aren't sensing spectacular fireworks, the big parade or the earth shattering move forward if on the other hand they are having a "hell no " moment it is time to move on. Good Luck and Be Patient ! Mrs Sav
Weaver AL			Username hidden (4055 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Well put, Mrs. Sav. A very interesting perspective, that only adds to the other thoughtful points of view. This whole idea was DOA from the time it came into my head. What was I thinking?
Maryville TN			Username hidden (14 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Very good point scripting play time with any number of people being it 1 or 100 never works out the way you want it to.
New Orleans LA			Username hidden (2188 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Sweet, That by far is the ideal and part of my point. You can not script a play session with 6 people that meets the needs/requirements of only one person. Even if you could how awkward.Potentially you have 4 people having sex and 2 of them staring at each other not wanting to have sex with each other but wishing and waiting to play if they can get an opportunity to pounce should someone else become available. "He is technically single but, plays as a couple with a female that I have been with several times. She was okay, but the sex with the new couple’s wife was incredible. " Add to that the OP has already stated his preference for the wife of Couple A as the other is just "ok" , I am sure that will make the female of Couple B feel terrific :S If you want my vote forget couple A and B and move on to couple C who hopefully will meet the needs of you both, stop thinking with your dick and start using your brain. Mrs Sav
Weaver AL			Username hidden (4055 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Mrs sav Good point. Off point but for some reason almost every time we play with two other couples My wife ends up with both of the men and I end up with ( by the grace of the swinging gods) with both women..
New Orleans LA			Username hidden (2188 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	After I posted this morning and left for work I realized I had not gotten to the other huge issues I see here. Your goal was a 6 way play session . So you introduced Couple A to Couple B and talked about a 6 way play night. What puzzles me is how do you propose "directing that " You state you want to play with the female of Couple A , your spouse will not play with the male of Couple A ...correct so far? So now it is play night , what if the Male of Couple B chooses to play with the female of Couple A instead of your wife? Now you're right back where you started. You will play with either A OR B, Everyone else will play with each other and your wife could be left sitting on the couch filing her nails. Surely you weren't going to insist that the wife of Couple B play with the husband of couple A so you have things nice and tidy ? If 3 couples are not all willing to play with each other NO MATTER which male or female is available I'd highly recommend you not make a date to play. If a group mix is what you are looking for do NOT limit that to 3 couples with only 1 man your wife will play with besides you. Have I confused everyone yet? lol Mrs Sav (who may or may not over think things but in this case serious thinking is what is required of this situation)
Weaver AL			Username hidden (4055 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	wonderful post sirandp! :) ty....
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2981 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I hate that you had your feelings hurt in this experience. With any luck, you'll find a couple with whom you feel a fully mutual chemistry. Towards discussing the situation, there are two things I see that went wrong here. The first was the movable nature of people's attitudes. It seems like the new couple were "game" to try to find a workable solution, but when the mentor couple got into the mix, the new couple found something closer to what they were looking for. It's regrettable from your angle, but you managed to put together compatible couples, when you weren't necessarily what they were looking for. Had things been handled better on their end, this could have ended with less damage. The second was a lack of communication which (grabs soapbox) is vital to keeping everyone on the same page, and to keep expectations grounded. When the new couple realized that they felt more compatible with your mentor couple, they should have voiced that. I'll lay short money that they avoided communicating this to you out of equal parts desire not to hurt your feelings, and a desire to avoid confrontation. Obviously, this didn't sit too well with the husband of the new couple, and he did the right thing... he communicated. If only they had done that sooner. So, while I feel you're entirely entitled to hurt feelings for being excluded, I think perhaps when the sting subsides you can accept them as they are once again. I don't think this is as much an act of malice or betrayal, as an avoidable bruised toe. And as others have said, this will happen again, if you stay with this pursuit. Best to put on steel toe boots and hopefully recognize when people accidentally hurt your feelings versus actually being dicks.
New Market MD			Username hidden (193 post)

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TOPIC: Hurt by our Swinger Mentors