How to gracefully say no to a couple or single malefemale: Swingers Discussion 42623

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TOPIC: How to gracefully say no to a couple or single male-female

Created by: EdNBrenda2004 Original Starting post for this thread:
You know we are always raring to go when it comes to meeting couples or bi women, however we are always clammed up when it comes to saying to a couple "no". It's not because we hate them or don't like them, we're just not interested in them. I've seen couples do everything from shoot dirty looks towards me or Brenda till just flat out say no. Maybe it is becase we've both been rejected by others in the past and are glad when someone else finds us attractive in our own way. However, doing the deed where we have to clamp down on someone is something we find hard and guilt wrenching. Any advice or tips? Ed (of EdNBrenda2004)

Created by: EdNBrenda2004
Original Starting post for this thread:

You know we are always raring to go when it comes to meeting couples or bi women, however we are always clammed up when it comes to saying to a couple "no". It's not because we hate them or don't like them, we're just not interested in them. I've seen couples do everything from shoot dirty looks towards me or Brenda till just flat out say no.

Maybe it is becase we've both been rejected by others in the past and are glad when someone else finds us attractive in our own way. However, doing the deed where we have to clamp down on someone is something we find hard and guilt wrenching. Any advice or tips?

Ed
(of EdNBrenda2004)

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User Details are only visible to members.	SandJinVt....thank you very much..smile. What if they are a pig with rhinitis?? smile.
Glen Burnie MD			Username hidden (2785 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	<<Now we are wondering how it goes at an event when you run into someone you had a bad 'break' with?>> We try to get that part over with as soon as possible, so without delay just walk up to them and say a friendly "hello, how are things going" etc. If they have the bad taste of asking you again to go out with them, just say something along the lines of "we've been busy but we'll stay in touch", and then move on. I should add that so far everybody we've had a break with have been nice and decent about these unintended encounters, and so have we when we have been the ones being rejected. It happens all the time so don't worry too much about it; you'll get used to the feeling. Mr. Content
Pittsburgh PA			Username hidden (1153 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I usually just say "We're sorry, but we'd sooner fuck a pig with rhinitis!" ROFL
South Riding VA			Username hidden (8158 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We tell them in that situation.We have found out the more time you take on trying to skirt the issue, the worse position your putting yourself in.I think more often then not you know on the first meeting if you really want to go to the next level.If you need to talk yourself into it,I am betting its not going to happen quite a few times. The second meeting for us when we are not sure ,tells us whether or not this couple is cool, In which we will offer friendship to hang out with us and our buds.We actually gte a bit bolder when we are in the pubs around town when we know that sex is not an issue.Seems to be more flirting,breasts seeking to escape the boundries, which we find more swingers that are not really swingers! If we do this with people we have sex with , usually sex is expected at the end of the evening.Drats huh.
Sarasota FL			Username hidden (2070 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We actually prefer to play on the first meeting in most cases, if there is a way to do so. In the majority of the cases that we have waited, it never happens. We are very spontaneous in that respect. "J"
Orlando FL			Username hidden (44 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We actually meet everyone that shows interest in us as long as we are free to meet them and everyones schedules allow us to do so. Although we read profiles and view others pics, we don't take all of that at face value. We would much rather meet face to face, have some conversation, cocktails, etc and then make our decision on whether we get naked with them or not. As long as they are not complete asses, even if we are not physically attracted to them initially after we meet, it doesn't mean that we don't want to be platonic lifestyle friends with them. As a matter of fact we do have some lifestyle friends that started out as platonic lifestyle friends and once we got to know them better our minds did change to take it to the next level. Although we are primarily in the lifestyle to get naked with others, we certainly don't ignore those that we don't get naked with. "J"
Orlando FL			Username hidden (44 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I have tried both ways. Direct and indirect. I just received e-mails from 2-3 couples. No real profile, no pics, no nothing. They asked me about clubs in NY or something else. I replied. They kept writing. I kept replying with very limited answers. One sentence at best. Nothing in these exchanges could be construed as positive. After 3 emails, I stated. I'm sorry you are not getting the hint. Thanks but no thanks. In the future, I will be more direct. I was slow to respond because the messages were questions. I respond to all emails. In person, my nonverbal are easy to read. If folks are unable to get the hint, I leave. It's been nice chatting with you. I'm going to mingle with the crowd, now. If approached about playing directly. I say thanks, but no thanks. I NEVER give an explanation. I've had plenty of single men, women, couples tell me no. I reply I appreciate their direct response but I would still enjoy talking to them. If they ask why? I appreciate the interest. But No means no. Swinger protocol describes that as being enough. Thanks but no thanks. Good luck in your search. In groups, I shake my head if approached. Good luck. Learning to tell people no is a very valuable skill. Learning to accept no, even more so. Mischief
Glen Burnie MD			Username hidden (2785 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	ed thats probably the number one problem so many will refuse to say , we do not feel any sparks here , no sense wasting the evening here for you or us..People want honesty, tell them, when in person the truth.We have found this to be the best way for us to behave and for others to say the same thing. In emails or on this site say thanks but no thanks its not that tough to do. To not answer or keep on chatting without ever intending to "hook up" for drinks or an evening of fun and frolic is not right.
Sarasota FL			Username hidden (2070 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Ed, if you would rather not give a flat "not interested" you an always say to the other couple "will get back to you after Brenda has a chance to review your profile, if she is interested", or something along those lines. The idea is not to sound very promising, and also to direct the rejection more to the male half of the other couple since males can naturally take rejection much more easily. In fact, for most of us males rejection isn't really a big deal. If you have already been interacting with the couple, then you can simply say "Brenda needs more time to think about this; we'll get back to you...". Mr. Content
Pittsburgh PA			Username hidden (1153 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	You know we are always raring to go when it comes to meeting couples or bi women, however we are always clammed up when it comes to saying to a couple "no". It's not because we hate them or don't like them, we're just not interested in them. I've seen couples do everything from shoot dirty looks towards me or Brenda till just flat out say no. Maybe it is becase we've both been rejected by others in the past and are glad when someone else finds us attractive in our own way. However, doing the deed where we have to clamp down on someone is something we find hard and guilt wrenching. Any advice or tips? Ed (of EdNBrenda2004)
Huber Heights OH			Username hidden (14 post)

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TOPIC: How to gracefully say no to a couple or single male-female

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