How many couples are totally in it together: Swingers Discussion 2019021031

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How many couples are totally in it together: Swingers Discussion 2019021031

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TOPIC: How many couples are totally in it together

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User Details are only visible to members.	"But on a good note, she randomly came out with the fact that she feels like we got caught up in the day to day life and that when she comes home, she wants us to get back into being more active. Along with doing more g-rated stuff together." Excuse me for saying so but I think the answer to your issue lies in what you just said. It sounds like to me like she wants "together time" while your idea of together time includes playing with others while her most likely meant one on one time. For many of us if "we" are not in sync with our emotional well being together just the 2 of us that last thing I want to do is include others. I would also being offended/ hurt to hear my partner say "I am bored, lets fuck other people" or "we never do anything fun together, lets hook up" . I also question what motivation she would have to go to all the trouble emailing others, trying to get to know them and setting up a meeting and hoping for a 4 way match when she has full permission to have sex with any person she meets without all the bullshit a site like this potentially has? I personally do not see the motivation, her needs/desires/fantasies are already being met. Having an open marriage works wonderfully for some people , each free to do who they want when they want but swinging together is far more complex and takes far more "work" and at the end of the day all the invested "work" doesn't usually generate huge results. After investing days, weeks or months emailing , you meet and in seconds know in your own mind that the attraction just isn't there so in theory she doesn't have to do any of that, she can merely go to a bar, party or grocery store and pick up a guy she is immediately attracted to. Presumably you are free to do the same. Doing it together takes both the desire and the work ; for many it just isn't worth the effort once it has been established they can do it alone. Mrs Sav
Weaver AL			Username hidden (4003 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I agree lost. And as a matter of fact she does have a "story" to tell me when she gets home. Normally I would be irked. As you have seen me write in this post and others, I have been frustrated with her lack of interest lately. We havent played in months and havent been on here together in a month. But yet she just went away for a few days, knowing how bad I want to play, and she hooked up on her own on the trip. Normally she would come back home and have no interest in playing for a while. You can see how that would bug me right? But on a good note, she randomly came out with the fact that she feels like we got caught up in the day to day life and that when she comes home, she wants us to get back into being more active. Along with doing more g-rated stuff together. So that sounds great to me. Some of our issue is that when we are not playing, we also are not doing anything else. So we spend day after day going to work, coming home, sitting on the couch and going to bed. I end up really wanting to play, and hoping we get to that. But that comes out all wrong. Since Im wanting to play to get out of the boredom, it looks like thats ALL I want to do. Which is a turn off for her. And I admit, when I get it on my mind and we go day after day doing the same thing. That IS what I want to do. Its not all I want to do. But yes. At that time I dont have much interest in going to the movies or something else. All in all I think it will work out great. I really appreciate you guys on the forums. Ive chatted on forums in the past and have a tendency to get flamed. By now, you all know my writing style.....No BS, and I just let whatever is on my mind hit the keyboard exactly how Im thinking it. You all are really an awesome group and writing on here, with your feedback is something I really enjoy and look forward to. It helps so much to be able to chat with likeminded people and talk through my frustrations and not have them spill into my relationship which for the most part is awesome.
Mount Juliet TN			Username hidden (662 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Joey, I can understand her attraction. It sounds like she is lustful of the erotic as I am. I love all that is erotic. For instance, I adore white collar men. The reason why I find them so intriguing is the fact that they "look" so conservative...and on the inside they are as nasty and kinky as most of the rest of us. It is the contrast of their look vs their true self that I find erotic.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23612 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I think for her the excitement is the opportunity situations. Like right now she is up north camping with family at a site where there are a bunch of guys that go too from all over. There are very few girls who are there normally. So she is surrounded by tons of hot shirtless young guys.......She is a 20's girl........They hangout at night and drink...........Stuff happens..... Being in the "open" type relationship we are, where thats allowed....Its likely she may have a story to tell me when she gets home. I love that kind of stuff. I used to get a little mad in the past because before she went, id be wanting to play for a long time and she wouldnt be interested. Then she would come back and still not be interested. Meanwhile she did something on her own in the 4 days she was away that was much faster and more "random" than she would do with us. To her its different online. In person, she has the excitement of the unknown. She can play with that. She;ll spend the night hanging out with a guy that she knows is trying and waiting and wondering. All night he will be trying, but in a subtle way. That puts her in a powerful position. He has no idea that by the end of the night they are going to both have a story to take home. I think thats really exciting to her vs. online. Online, youre looking at people in pictures and chatting for the sole purpose of sex. All the cards are on the table. There is no mystery. There is no "lead up excitement" to build other than pictures and people waiting for us to say yes. Then when we meet its almost a foregone conclusion what is going to happen. Everyone knows and its just going through the motions to end up having sex at the end of the night. We have already discussed what we like and dont like. Already seen everyone naked. And so on. When shes alone with someone G-rated that has no idea that he has the "green light" it allows the excitement and seduction to slowly build over a whole night and thats the thrill. VS someone coming over, walking in the door, getting naked, and saying "Here I am" So I can understand it better now.
Mount Juliet TN			Username hidden (662 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I think that for most swinging couples, swinging is more of a mutual hobby than a lifestyle. Both partners are not always going to be in the mood for it at the same time, but when both ARE in the mood, they go for it together and are totally in it together !
Forsyth GA			Username hidden (115 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	It blows me away how much communication A and I still need and struggle with after 22 yrs of marriage." I know, isn't that the truth? We hit 21 on June 5 and we have to do what I call "friendly reminders" lol. marriage truly is a continuous evolution. whether married 2, 20 or 40....people continue to grow and change. Its growing and changing together that makes the difference.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23612 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	It blows me away how much communication A and I still need and struggle with after 22 yrs of marriage. Rdy.. Try 32& a 1/2 years and counting, I hope it never ends,It's the only way you grow.
New Orleans LA			Username hidden (2186 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Rdy, we learned this very thing in the lifestyle...and it surprised us. Jay and I have been together since really, we were kids. I was EIGHTEEN for goodness sakes. My daughter can't hardly get dressed without me lol....I look at her and think I was MARRIED AT HER AGE????! Anyways. My point is, in our marriage and as parents we are pretty spot on with each other. When we started swinging we assumed that this would continue. WOW were we wrong. We have had some knock down drag outs in past years because he assumed I was okay with this and i was like ummmmm NOT....and vice versa. Like Joey....we had to sit and come to the realization that we do not read each other's minds. even at parties, we always communicate before playing...if nothing else, respect sake.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23612 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	So glad y'all talked!!!! That is wonderful. If more couples did like you...sat and talked about things...divorce would not be as common as it is. So happy for you. Remember, you will never be the same...you are 2 separate people. It is melding your differences into a happy relationship...not one giving up solely for the other. You did a good thing.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23612 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	oh, good thing you dont live here, its chicken and turkey every night! LOL ...So glad you both talked! You were both doing an ever so common relationship dance. Glad you worked through it!! That kind of dancing gets exhausting, and not in a good way. Enjoy!
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2981 post)

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TOPIC: How many couples are totally in it together