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TOPIC: How did you know when it was finally going to happen
Created by: ddmixedcple The original post for this thread was deleted.
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Well...speaking as a couple fairly new to the lifestyle ourselves, it *is* confusing and can be complicated.

In our case...putting ourselves out there to be judged by our physical appearance in our mid-late 40's, approaching and meeting up with strangers for sex, "learning" how to flirt again after just being with your spouse for 20 years is tough. It might come easier for some people, but not for us. We're learning that a lot of people lie, are mean, are flakey as hell and could give a crap about us, or feelings or our time.

So...while we're having a great time with all of this, we keep a sense of humor and look at every situation as a learning experience and if that means coming up with a "secret word/phrase/signal" to let each other know if we're on the same page, then so be it. Maybe after doing this for a while we won't need one because we'll both just *know*, but if it makes us (or the OP) feel better right now...who gives a sh*t?

Lahaina HI
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There are no signals. When it feels right to both of you, just do it! Why do we always have to make it so complicated?

Virginia Beach VA
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We always used a super duper secret hand single. It was easier than just talking.

White Hse Sta NJ
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I agree with Mrs Sav and KD...you two must communicate! Talk to each other, set the groundrules, and agree on your mutual comfort zone and/or best case scenario/s for swinging/swapping. My ex-hotwife and I did so before we ever even got the nerve to try it. She was anything but gunshy, but she feared my reaction if she took the lead. I assured her that it was up to her how far she (and we) would go with other couples or men should the chemistry be present, so long as we both remained in our mutual comfort zone. We started out seeking individual couples to meet for dinner/drinks and did not try the swing club/house party scene until we had gained experience with other individual couples and learned the dynamics. We were lucky to meet several experienced couples who made us feel right at home and comfortable and it all happened very naturally. When we met another novice couple for the 1st time, we felt like we were the experienced couple! LOL

Kennesaw GA
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It might have been when Mr Sav dropped his pants and yelled over his should "Take your clothes off bitch".........KIDDING lol.

Communication, communication and COMMUNICATION!

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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my signal was pretty loud and clear..."can we go fuck now" lol. --------------------- Couldn't miss the broad side of a barn with that one! BTW - YES! ;-)'

Jacksonville FL
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my signal was pretty loud and clear..."can we go fuck now" lol.

Louisville KY
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I guess I'm not understanding your question... are *you* the one with the gun shy spouse? Or are *you* the gun shy spouse? Or do you mean the other couple has a gun shy spouse??

Either way, there's no need to full swap if you don't want to. You can just soft swap until everyone is comfortable.

The key is communication....with your spouse, with the other couple, etc.

Lahaina HI
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TOPIC: How did you know when it was finally going to happen