How did you know when it was finally going to happen: Swingers Discussion 208685

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TOPIC: How did you know when it was finally going to happen

Created by: ddmixedcple Original Starting post for this thread:
My wife and I have been experimenting with the lifestyle about 6 months now. We've met a few couples online and attended a meet and greet and went to Freedom Acres once. We both had a great time at FA and look forward to our next visit. My question is to those that have a spouse that loved being around the lifestyle but seemed a little gun shy about actually doing the swap? What signal did you get or what did you see or hear that told you it was about to happen? I know it's kid of a general question, but sometimes signals are hard to read? Anyone want to share their experience on this matter?

Created by: ddmixedcple
Original Starting post for this thread:

My wife and I have been experimenting with the lifestyle about 6 months now. We've met a few couples online and attended a meet and greet and went to Freedom Acres once. We both had a great time at FA and look forward to our next visit.
My question is to those that have a spouse that loved being around the lifestyle but seemed a little gun shy about actually doing the swap? What signal did you get or what did you see or hear that told you it was about to happen? I know it's kid of a general question, but sometimes signals are hard to read? Anyone want to share their experience on this matter?

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User Details are only visible to members.	Well...speaking as a couple fairly new to the lifestyle ourselves, it is confusing and can be complicated. In our case...putting ourselves out there to be judged by our physical appearance in our mid-late 40's, approaching and meeting up with strangers for sex, "learning" how to flirt again after just being with your spouse for 20 years is tough. It might come easier for some people, but not for us. We're learning that a lot of people lie, are mean, are flakey as hell and could give a crap about us, or feelings or our time. So...while we're having a great time with all of this, we keep a sense of humor and look at every situation as a learning experience and if that means coming up with a "secret word/phrase/signal" to let each other know if we're on the same page, then so be it. Maybe after doing this for a while we won't need one because we'll both just know, but if it makes us (or the OP) feel better right now...who gives a sh*t?
Wailuku HI			Username hidden (442 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	There are no signals. When it feels right to both of you, just do it! Why do we always have to make it so complicated?
Virginia Beach VA			Username hidden (272 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We always used a super duper secret hand single. It was easier than just talking.
Avondale LA			Username hidden (4496 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I agree with Mrs Sav and KD...you two must communicate! Talk to each other, set the groundrules, and agree on your mutual comfort zone and/or best case scenario/s for swinging/swapping. My ex-hotwife and I did so before we ever even got the nerve to try it. She was anything but gunshy, but she feared my reaction if she took the lead. I assured her that it was up to her how far she (and we) would go with other couples or men should the chemistry be present, so long as we both remained in our mutual comfort zone. We started out seeking individual couples to meet for dinner/drinks and did not try the swing club/house party scene until we had gained experience with other individual couples and learned the dynamics. We were lucky to meet several experienced couples who made us feel right at home and comfortable and it all happened very naturally. When we met another novice couple for the 1st time, we felt like we were the experienced couple! LOL
Forsyth GA			Username hidden (115 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	It might have been when Mr Sav dropped his pants and yelled over his should "Take your clothes off bitch".........KIDDING lol. Communication, communication and COMMUNICATION! Mrs Sav
Weaver AL			Username hidden (4110 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	my signal was pretty loud and clear..."can we go fuck now" lol. --------------------- Couldn't miss the broad side of a barn with that one! BTW - YES! ;-)'
Amherst OH			Username hidden (2271 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"my signal was pretty loud and clear..."can we go fuck now" lol." dd, this is an excellent example of direct communication!! ;) ...no mistakes can happen with that! Pg, you rock!
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2981 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	my signal was pretty loud and clear..."can we go fuck now" lol.
Louisville KY			Username hidden (14017 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	" What signal did you get or what did you see or hear that told you it was about to happen? " --- I'm assuming your spouse is the gun shy one, so my suggestion would be very simple, and for her to take a moment and whisper in your ear "It's about to happen!!" ;) I get wanting to have signals for some things, (perhaps to protect others feelings or just making things easier) but if it's something between spouses, In my opinion, direct communication is really really really best. If this wasn't meant to be between spouses, how would you really know that a stranger male or female was shy or not interested? And even if you do know, I think direct communication would be needed to proceed. Direct communication is something us newbies have to learn how to get comfortable with. It may take a while, but it is veryyy important here in the swinging world. Practice it as much as you can. :)
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2981 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I guess I'm not understanding your question... are you the one with the gun shy spouse? Or are you the gun shy spouse? Or do you mean the other couple has a gun shy spouse?? Either way, there's no need to full swap if you don't want to. You can just soft swap until everyone is comfortable. The key is communication....with your spouse, with the other couple, etc.
Wailuku HI			Username hidden (442 post)

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TOPIC: How did you know when it was finally going to happen

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